The Decameron of Giovanni Boccaccio
me more honour than I deserve and I would not for my life do him such
an outrage; wherefore look thou bespeak me no more of such things.'
Lusca, nowise daunted by his austere speech, said to him, 'Pyrrhus, I
will e'en bespeak thee both of this and of everything else wherewithal
my lady shall charge me when and as often as she shall bid me, whether
it cause thee pleasure or annoy; but thou art an ass.' Then, somewhat
despited at his words, she returned to her mistress, who, hearing what
Pyrrhus had said, wished for death, but, some days after, she again
bespoke the chamberwoman of the matter and said to her, 'Lusca, thou
knowest that the oak falleth not for the first stroke; wherefore
meseemeth well that thou return anew to him who so strangely willeth
to abide loyal to my prejudice, and taking a sortable occasion,
throughly discover to him my passion and do thine every endeavour that
the thing may have effect; for that, an it fall through thus, I shall
assuredly die of it. Moreover, he will think to have been befooled,
and whereas we seek to have his love, hate will ensue thereof.'
The maid comforted her and going in quest of Pyrrhus found him merry
and well-disposed and said to him, 'Pyrrhus I showed thee, a few days
agone, in what a fire my lady and thine abideth for the love she
beareth thee, and now anew I certify thee thereof, for that, an thou
persist in the rigour thou showedst the other day, thou mayst be
assured that she will not live long; wherefore I prithee be pleased to
satisfy her of her desire, and if thou yet abide fast in thine
obstinacy, whereas I have still accounted thee mighty discreet, I
shall hold thee a blockhead. What can be a greater glory for thee than
that such a lady, so fair and so noble, should love thee over all
else? Besides, how greatly shouldst thou acknowledge thyself beholden
unto Fortune, seeing that she proffereth thee a thing of such worth
and so conformable to the desires of thy youth and to boot, such a
resource for thy necessities! Which of thy peers knowest thou who
fareth better by way of delight than thou mayst fare, an thou be wise?
What other couldst thou find who may fare so well in the matter of
arms and horses and apparel and monies as thou mayst do, so thou wilt
but vouchsafe thy love to this lady? Open, then, thy mind to my words
and return to thy senses; bethink thee that once, and no oftener, it
is wont to betide that fortune cometh unto a man with smiling face and
open arms, who an he know not then to welcome, if after he find
himself poor and beggarly, he hath himself and not her to blame.
Besides, there is no call to use that loyalty between servants and
masters that behoveth between friends and kinsfolk; nay, servants
should use their masters, in so far as they may, like as themselves
are used of them. Thinkest thou, an thou hadst a fair wife or mother
or daughter or sister, who pleased Nicostratus, that he would go
questing after this loyalty that thou wouldst fain observe towards him
in respect of this lady? Thou are a fool, if thou think thus; for thou
mayst hold it for certain that, if blandishments and prayers sufficed
him not, he would not scruple to use force in the matter, whatsoever
thou mightest deem thereof. Let us, then, entreat them and their
affairs even as they entreat us and ours. Profit by the favour of
fortune and drive her not away, but welcome her with open arms and
meet her halfway, for assuredly, and thou do it not, thou wilt yet
(leave alone the death that will without fail ensue thereof to thy
lady) repent thee thereof so many a time thou wilt be fain to die
therefor.'
Pyrrhus, who had again and again pondered the words that Lusca had
said to him, had determined, and she should return to him, to make her
another guess answer and altogether to submit himself to comply with
the lady's wishes, so but he might be certified that it was not a
trick to try him, and accordingly answered, 'Harkye, Lusca; all that
thou sayst to me I allow to be true; but, on the other hand, I know my
lord for very discreet and well-advised, and as he committeth all his
affairs to my hands, I am sore adread lest Lydia, with his counsel and
by his wish, do this to try me; wherefore, an it please her for mine
assurance do three things that I shall ask, she shall for certain
thereafterward command me nought but I will do it forthright. And the
three things I desire are these: first, that in Nicostratus his
presence she slay his good hawk; secondly, that she send me a lock of
her husband's beard and lastly, one of his best teeth.' These
conditions seemed hard unto Lusca and to the lady harder yet;
however, Love, who is an excellent comforter[354] and a past master in
shifts and devices, made her resolve to do his pleasure and
accordingly she sent him word by her chamberwoman that she would
punctually do what he required and that quickly, and that over and
above this, for that he deemed Nicostratus so well-advised, she would
solace herself with him in her husband's presence and make the latter
believe that it was not true.
[Footnote 354: Syn. encourager, helper, auxiliary (_confortatore_).]
Pyrrhus, accordingly, began to await what the lady should do, and
Nicostratus having, a few days after, made, as he oftentimes used to
do, a great dinner to certain gentlemen, Madam Lydia, whenas the
tables were cleared away, came forth of her chamber, clad in green
samite and richly bedecked, and entered the saloon where the guests
were. There, in the sight of Pyrrhus and of all the rest, she went up
to the perch, whereon was the hawk that Nicostratus held so dear, and
cast it loose, as she would set it on her hand; then, taking it by the
jesses, she dashed it against the wall and killed it; whereupon
Nicostratus cried out at her, saying, 'Alack, wife, what hast thou
done?' She answered him nothing, but, turning to the gentlemen who had
eaten with him, she said to them, 'Gentlemen, I should ill know how to
avenge myself on a king who did me a despite, an I dared not take my
wreak of a hawk. You must know that this bird hath long robbed me of
all the time which should of men be accorded to the pleasuring of the
ladies; for that no sooner is the day risen than Nicostratus is up and
drest and away he goeth a-horseback, with his hawk on his fist, to the
open plains, to see him fly, whilst I, such as you see me, abide in
bed alone and ill-content; wherefore I have many a time had a mind to
do that which I have now done, nor hath aught hindered me therefrom
but that I waited to do it in the presence of gentlemen who would be
just judges in my quarrel, as methinketh you will be.' The gentlemen,
hearing this and believing her affection for Nicostratus to be no
otherwise than as her words denoted, turned all to the latter, who was
angered, and said, laughing, 'Ecod, how well hath the lady done to
avenge herself of her wrong by the death of the hawk!' Then, with
divers of pleasantries upon the subject (the lady being now gone back
to her chamber), they turned Nicostratus his annoy into laughter;
whilst Pyrrhus, seeing all this, said in himself, 'The lady hath given
a noble beginning to my happy loves; God grant she persevere!'
Lydia having thus slain the hawk, not many days were passed when,
being in her chamber with Nicostratus, she fell to toying and
frolicking with him, and he, pulling her somedele by the hair, by way
of sport, gave her occasion to accomplish the second thing required of
her by Pyrrhus. Accordingly, taking him of a sudden by a lock of his
beard, she tugged so hard at it, laughing the while, that she plucked
it clean out of his chin; whereof he complaining, 'How now?' quoth
she. 'What aileth thee to pull such a face? Is it because I have
plucked out maybe half a dozen hairs of thy beard? Thou feltest not
that which I suffered, whenas thou pulledst me now by the hair.' On
this wise continuing their disport from one word to another, she
privily kept the lock of hair that she had plucked from his beard and
sent it that same day to her lover.
Anent the last of the three things required by Pyrrhus she was harder
put to it for a device; nevertheless, being of a surpassing wit and
Love making her yet quicker of invention, she soon bethought herself
what means she should use to give it accomplishment. Nicostratus had
two boys given him of their father, to the intent that, being of
gentle birth, they might learn somewhat of manners and good breeding
in his house, of whom, whenas he was at meat, one carved before him
and the other gave him to drink. Lydia called them both and giving
them to believe that they stank at the mouth, enjoined them that,
whenas they served Nicostratus, they should still hold their heads
backward as most they might nor ever tell this to any. The boys,
believing that which she said, proceeded to do as she had lessoned
them, and she after a while said to her husband one day, 'Hast thou
noted that which yonder boys do, whenas they serve thee?' 'Ay have I,'
replied Nicostratus; 'and indeed I had it in mind to ask them why they
did it.' Quoth the lady, 'Do it not, for I can tell thee the reason;
and I have kept it silent from thee this long while, not to cause thee
annoy; but, now I perceive that others begin to be aware thereof, it
skilleth not to hide it from thee longer. This betideth thee for none
other what than that thou stinkest terribly at the mouth, and I know
not what can be the cause thereof; for that it used not to be thus.
Now this is a very unseemly thing for thee who hast to do with
gentlemen, and needs must we see for a means of curing it.' Whereupon
said he, 'What can this be? Can I have some rotten tooth in my head?'
'Maybe ay,' answered Lydia and carried him to a window, where she made
him open his mouth, and after she had viewed it in every part, 'O
Nicostratus,' cried she, 'how canst thou have put up with it so long?
Thou hast a tooth on this side which meseemth is not only decayed, but
altogether rotten, and assuredly, and thou keep it much longer in thy
mouth, it will mar thee those which be on either side; wherefore I
counsel thee have it drawn, ere the thing go farther.' 'Since it
seemeth good to thee,' answered he, 'I will well; let a surgeon be
sent for without more delay, who shall draw it for me.' 'God forbid,'
rejoined the lady, 'that a surgeon come hither for that! Methinketh it
lieth on such wise that I myself, without any surgeon, can very well
draw it for thee; more by token that these same surgeons are so
barbarous in doing such offices that my heart would on no account
suffer me to see or know thee in the hands of any one of them; for, an
it irk thee overmuch, I will at least loose thee incontinent, which a
surgeon would not do.'
Accordingly, she let fetch the proper instruments and sent every one
forth of the chamber, except only Lusca; after which, locking herself
in, she made Nicostratus lie down on a table and thrusting the pincers
into his mouth, what while the maid held him fast, she pulled out one
of his teeth by main force, albeit he roared out lustily for the pain.
Then, keeping to herself that which she had drawn, she brought out a
frightfully decayed tooth she had ready in her hand and showed it to
her husband, half dead as he was for pain, saying, 'See what thou
hast had in thy mouth all this while.' Nicostratus believed what she
said and now that the tooth was out, for all he had suffered the most
grievous pain and made sore complaint thereof, him seemed he was
cured; and presently, having comforted himself with one thing and
another and the pain being abated, he went forth of the chamber;
whereupon his wife took the tooth and straightway despatched it to her
gallant, who, being now certified of her love, professed himself ready
to do her every pleasure.