The Essays or Counsels, Civil and Moral
ground: judge therefore of the pleasure of the heart, by the pleasure
of the eye. Certainly virtue is like precious odors, most fragrant when
they are incensed, or crushed: for prosperity doth best discover vice,
but adversity doth best discover virtue.
Of Simulation And Dissimulation
DISSIMULATION is but a faint kind of policy, or wisdom; for it asketh
a strong wit, and a strong heart, to know when to tell truth, and to
do it. Therefore it is the weaker sort of politics, that are the great
dissemblers.
Tacitus saith, Livia sorted well with the arts of her husband, and
dissimulation of her son; attributing arts or policy to Augustus,
and dissimulation to Tiberius. And again, when Mucianus encourageth
Vespasian, to take arms against Vitellius, he saith, We rise not against
the piercing judgment of Augustus, nor the extreme caution or closeness
of Tiberius. These properties, of arts or policy, and dissimulation
or closeness, are indeed habits and faculties several, and to be
distinguished. For if a man have that penetration of judgment, as he can
discern what things are to be laid open, and what to be secreted, and
what to be showed at half lights, and to whom and when (which indeed are
arts of state, and arts of life, as Tacitus well calleth them), to him,
a habit of dissimulation is a hinderance and a poorness. But if a man
cannot obtain to that judgment, then it is left to him generally, to
be close, and a dissembler. For where a man cannot choose, or vary in
particulars, there it is good to take the safest, and wariest way, in
general; like the going softly, by one that cannot well see. Certainly
the ablest men that ever were, have had all an openness, and frankness,
of dealing; and a name of certainty and veracity; but then they were
like horses well managed; for they could tell passing well, when to stop
or turn; and at such times, when they thought the case indeed required
dissimulation, if then they used it, it came to pass that the former
opinion, spread abroad, of their good faith and clearness of dealing,
made them almost invisible.
There be three degrees of this hiding and veiling of a man's self. The
first, closeness, reservation, and secrecy; when a man leaveth himself
without observation, or without hold to be taken, what he is. The
second, dissimulation, in the negative; when a man lets fall signs and
arguments, that he is not, that he is. And the third, simulation, in the
affirmative; when a man industriously and expressly feigns and pretends
to be, that he is not.
For the first of these, secrecy; it is indeed the virtue of a confessor.
And assuredly, the secret man heareth many confessions. For who will
open himself, to a blab or a babbler? But if a man be thought secret, it
inviteth discovery; as the more close air sucketh in the more open; and
as in confession, the revealing is not for worldly use, but for the ease
of a man's heart, so secret men come to the knowledge of many things
in that kind; while men rather discharge their minds, than impart their
minds. In few words, mysteries are due to secrecy. Besides (to say
truth) nakedness is uncomely, as well in mind as body; and it addeth no
small reverence, to men's manners and actions, if they be not altogether
open. As for talkers and futile persons, they are commonly vain and
credulous withal. For he that talketh what he knoweth, will also talk
what he knoweth not. Therefore set it down, that an habit of secrecy, is
both politic and moral. And in this part, it is good that a man's face
give his tongue leave to speak. For the discovery of a man' s self, by
the tracts of his countenance, is a great weakness and betraying; by how
much it is many times more marked, and believed, than a man's words.
For the second, which is dissimulation; it followeth many times upon
secrecy, by a necessity; so that he that will be secret, must be a
dissembler in some degree. For men are too cunning, to suffer a man to
keep an indifferent carriage between both, and to be secret, without
swaying the balance on either side. They will so beset a man with
questions, and draw him on, and pick it out of him, that, without an
absurd silence, he must show an inclination one way; or if he do not,
they will gather as much by his silence, as by his speech. As for
equivocations, or oraculous speeches, they cannot hold out long. So
that no man can be secret, except he give himself a little scope of
dissimulation; which is, as it were, but the skirts or train of secrecy.
But for the third degree, which is simulation, and false profession;
that I hold more culpable, and less politic; except it be in great and
rare matters. And therefore a general custom of simulation (which is
this last degree) is a vice, using either of a natural falseness or
fearfulness, or of a mind that hath some main faults, which because
a man must needs disguise, it maketh him practise simulation in other
things, lest his hand should be out of use.
The great advantages of simulation and dissimulation are three. First,
to lay asleep opposition, and to surprise. For where a man's intentions
are published, it is an alarum, to call up all that are against them.
The second is, to reserve to a man's self a fair retreat. For if a man
engage himself by a manifest declaration, he must go through or take a
fall. The third is, the better to discover the mind of another. For to
him that opens himself, men will hardly show themselves adverse; but
will fair let him go on, and turn their freedom of speech, to freedom of
thought. And therefore it is a good shrewd proverb of the Spaniard, Tell
a lie and find a troth. As if there were no way of discovery, but by
simulation. There be also three disadvantages, to set it even. The
first, that simulation and dissimulation commonly carry with them a show
of fearfulness, which in any business, doth spoil the feathers, of round
flying up to the mark. The second, that it puzzleth and perplexeth the
conceits of many, that perhaps would otherwise co-operate with him; and
makes a man walk almost alone, to his own ends. The third and greatest
is, that it depriveth a man of one of the most principal instruments for
action; which is trust and belief. The best composition and temperature,
is to have openness in fame and opinion; secrecy in habit; dissimulation
in seasonable use; and a power to feign, if there be no remedy.
Of Parents And Children
THE joys of parents are secret; and so are their griefs and fears.
They cannot utter the one; nor they will not utter the other. Children
sweeten labors; but they make misfortunes more bitter. They increase
the cares of life; but they mitigate the remembrance of death. The
perpetuity by generation is common to beasts; but memory, merit, and
noble works, are proper to men. And surely a man shall see the noblest
works and foundations have proceeded from childless men; which have
sought to express the images of their minds, where those of their bodies
have failed. So the care of posterity is most in them, that have no
posterity. They that are the first raisers of their houses, are most
indulgent towards their children; beholding them as the continuance,
not only of their kind, but of their work; and so both children and
creatures.
The difference in affection, of parents towards their several children,
is many times unequal; and sometimes unworthy; especially in the
mothers; as Solomon saith, A wise son rejoiceth the father, but an
ungracious son shames the mother. A man shall see, where there is a
house full of children, one or two of the eldest respected, and the
youngest made wantons; but in the midst, some that are as it
were forgotten, who many times, nevertheless, prove the best. The
illiberality of parents, in allowance towards their children, is an
harmful error; makes them base; acquaints them with shifts; makes them
sort with mean company; and makes them surfeit more when they come to
plenty. And therefore the proof is best, when men keep their authority
towards the children, but not their purse. Men have a foolish manner
(both parents and schoolmasters and servants) in creating and breeding
an emulation between brothers, during childhood, which many times
sorteth to discord when they are men, and disturbeth families. The
Italians make little difference between children, and nephews or near
kinsfolks; but so they be of the lump, they care not though they pass
not through their own body. And, to say truth, in nature it is much
a like matter; insomuch that we see a nephew sometimes resembleth an
uncle, or a kinsman, more than his own parent; as the blood happens.
Let parents choose betimes, the vocations and courses they mean their
children should take; for then they are most flexible; and let them
not too much apply themselves to the disposition of their children, as
thinking they will take best to that, which they have most mind to.
It is true, that if the affection or aptness of the children be
extraordinary, then it is good not to cross it; but generally the
precept is good, optimum elige, suave et facile illud faciet consuetudo.
Younger brothers are commonly fortunate, but seldom or never where the
elder are disinherited.
Of Marriage And Single Life
HE THAT hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they
are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief.
Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have
proceeded from the unmarried or childless men; which both in affection
and means, have married and endowed the public. Yet it were great reason
that those that have children, should have greatest care of future
times; unto which they know they must transmit their dearest pledges.
Some there are, who though they lead a single life, yet their thoughts
do end with themselves, and account future times impertinences. Nay,
there are some other, that account wife and children, but as bills of
charges. Nay more, there are some foolish rich covetous men, that take
a pride, in having no children, because they may be thought so much the
richer. For perhaps they have heard some talk, Such an one is a great
rich man, and another except to it, Yea, but he hath a great charge
of children; as if it were an abatement to his riches. But the most
ordinary cause of a single life, is liberty, especially in certain
self-pleasing and humorous minds, which are so sensible of every
restraint, as they will go near to think their girdles and garters, to
be bonds and shackles. Unmarried men are best friends, best masters,
best servants; but not always best subjects; for they are light to run
away; and almost all fugitives, are of that condition. A single life
doth well with churchmen; for charity will hardly water the ground,
where it must first fill a pool. It is indifferent for judges and
magistrates; for if they be facile and corrupt, you shall have a
servant, five times worse than a wife. For soldiers, I find the generals
commonly in their hortatives, put men in mind of their wives and
children; and I think the despising of marriage amongst the Turks,
maketh the vulgar soldier more base. Certainly wife and children are a
kind of discipline of humanity; and single men, though they may be many
times more charitable, because their means are less exhaust, yet, on
the other side, they are more cruel and hardhearted (good to make severe
inquisitors), because their tenderness is not so oft called upon. Grave
natures, led by custom, and therefore constant, are commonly loving
husbands, as was said of Ulysses, vetulam suam praetulit immortalitati.
Chaste women are often proud and froward, as presuming upon the merit
of their chastity. It is one of the best bonds, both of chastity and
obedience, in the wife, if she think her husband wise; which she will