The Expedition of Humphry Clinker
family, or complaisance for the inclinations of her husband--But Baynard
declined my offer, on the supposition that his wife’s nerves were
too delicate to bear expostulation; and that it would only serve to
overwhelm her with such distress as would make himself miserable.
Baynard is a man of spirit, and had she proved a termagant, he would
have known how to deal with her; but, either by accident or instinct,
she fastened upon the weak side of his soul, and held it so fast, that
he has been in subjection ever since--I afterwards advised him to carry
her abroad to France or Italy, where he might gratify her vanity for
half the expence it cost him in England: and this advice he followed
accordingly. She was agreeably flattered with the idea of seeing and
knowing foreign parts, and foreign fashions; of being presented to
sovereigns, and living familiarly with princes. She forthwith seized the
hint which I had thrown out on purpose, and even pressed Mr Baynard to
hasten his departure; so that in a few weeks they crossed the sea to
France, with a moderate train, still including the aunt; who was
her bosom counsellor, and abetted her in all her oppositions to her
husband’s will--Since that period, I have had little or no opportunity
to renew our former correspondence--All that I knew of his transactions,
amounted to no more than that after an absence of two years, they
returned so little improved in oeconomy, that they launched out into
new oceans of extravagance, which at length obliged him to mortgage his
estate--By this time she had bore him three children, of which the last
only survives, a puny boy of twelve or thirteen, who will be ruined in
his education by the indulgence of his mother.
As for Baynard, neither his own good sense, nor the dread of indigence,
nor the consideration of his children, has been of force sufficient to
stimulate him into the resolution of breaking at once the shameful spell
by which he seems enchanted--With a taste capable of the most refined
enjoyment, a heart glowing with all the warmth of friendship and
humanity, and a disposition strongly turned to the more rational
pleasures of a retired and country life, he is hurried about in a
perpetual tumult, amidst a mob of beings pleased with rattles, baubles,
and gewgaws, so void of sense and distinction, that even the most acute
philosopher would find it a very hard task to discover for what wise
purpose of providence they were created--Friendship is not to be found;
nor can the amusements for which he sighs be enjoyed within the rotation
of absurdity, to which he is doomed for life. He has long resigned
all views of improving his fortune by management and attention to
the exercise of husbandry, in which he delighted; and as to domestic
happiness, not the least glimpse of hope remains to amuse his
imagination. Thus blasted in all his prospects, he could not fail to
be overwhelmed with melancholy and chagrin, which have preyed upon his
health and spirits in such a manner, that he is now threatened with a
consumption.
I have given you a sketch of the man, whom the other day I went to
visit--At the gate we found a great number of powdered lacquies, but
no civility--After we had sat a considerable time in the coach, we were
told, that Mr Baynard had rode out, and that his lady was dressing; but
we were introduced to a parlour, so very fine and delicate, that in all
appearance it was designed to be seen only, not inhabited. The chairs
and couches were carved, gilt, and covered with rich damask, so smooth
and slick, that they looked as if they had never been sat upon. There
was no carpet upon the floor, but the boards were rubbed and waxed in
such a manner, that we could not walk, but were obliged to slide
along them; and as for the stove, it was too bright and polished to be
polluted with sea-coal, or stained by the smoke of any gross material
fire--When we had remained above half an hour sacrificing to the
inhospitable powers in the temple of cold reception, my friend Baynard
arrived, and understanding we were in the house, made his appearance, so
meagre, yellow, and dejected, that I really should not have known him,
had I met with him in any other place. Running up to me, with great
eagerness, he strained me in his embrace, and his heart was so full,
that for some minutes he could not speak. Having saluted us all round,
he perceived our uncomfortable situation, and conducting us into another
apartment, which had fire in the chimney, called for chocolate--Then,
withdrawing, he returned with a compliment from his wife, and, in the
mean time, presented his son Harry, a shambling, blear-eyed boy, in the
habit of a hussar; very rude, forward, and impertinent. His father would
have sent him to a boarding-school, but his mamma and aunt would not
hear of his lying out of the house; so that there was a clergyman
engaged as his tutor in the family.
As it was but just turned of twelve, and the whole house was in
commotion to prepare a formal entertainment, I foresaw it would be
late before we dined, and proposed a walk to Mr Baynard, that we might
converse together freely. In the course of this perambulation, when I
expressed some surprize that he had returned so soon from Italy, he
gave me to understand, that his going abroad had not at all answered the
purpose, for which he left England; that although the expence of living
was not so great in Italy as at home, respect being had to the same rank
of life in both countries, it had been found necessary for him to lift
himself above his usual stile, that he might be on some footing with
the counts, marquises, and cavaliers, with whom he kept company--He was
obliged to hire a great number of servants, to take off a great variety
of rich cloaths, and to keep a sumptuous table for the fashionable
scorocconi of the country; who, without a consideration of this kind,
would not have payed any attention to an untitled foreigner, let his
family or fortune be ever so respectable--Besides, Mrs Baynard was
continually surrounded by a train of expensive loungers, under the
denominations of language-masters, musicians, painters, and ciceroni;
and had actually fallen into the disease of buying pictures and antiques
upon her own judgment, which was far from being infallible--At length
she met with an affront, which gave her disgust to Italy, and drove her
back to England with some precipitation. By means of frequenting the
dutchess of B[edford]'s conversazione, while her grace was at Rome, Mrs
Baynard became acquainted with all the fashionable people of that city,
and was admitted to their assemblies without scruple--Thus favoured, she
conceived too great an idea of her own importance, and when the dutchess
left Rome, resolved to have a conversazione that should leave the
Romans no room to regret her grace’s departure. She provided hands for a
musical entertainment, and sent biglietti of invitation to every person
of distinction; but not one Roman of the female sex appeared at her
assembly--She was that night seized with a violent fit, and kept her
bed three days, at the expiration of which she declared that the air of
Italy would be the ruin of her constitution. In order to prevent this
catastrophe, she was speedily removed to Geneva, from whence they
returned to England by the way of Lyons and Paris. By the time they
arrived at Calais, she had purchased such a quantity of silks, stuffs,
and laces, that it was necessary to hire a vessel to smuggle them over,
and this vessel was taken by a custom-house cutter; so that they lost
the whole cargo, which had cost them above eight hundred pounds.
It now appears, that her travels had produced no effect upon her, but
that of making her more expensive and fantastic than ever: She affected
to lead the fashion, not only in point of female dress, but in every
article of taste and connoisseurship. She made a drawing of the new
facade to the house in the country; she pulled up the trees, and pulled
down the walls of the garden, so as to let in the easterly wind, which
Mr Baynard’s ancestors had been at great pains to exclude. To shew her
taste in laying out ground, she seized into her own hand a farm of two
hundred acres, about a mile from the house, which she parcelled out into
walks and shrubberies, having a great bason in the middle, into which
she poured a whole stream that turned two mills, and afforded the best
trout in the country. The bottom of the bason, however, was so ill
secured, that it would not hold the water which strained through the
earth, and made a bog of the whole plantation: in a word, the ground
which formerly payed him one hundred and fifty pounds a year, now cost
him two hundred pounds a year to keep it in tolerable order, over and
above the first expence of trees, shrubs, flowers, turf, and gravel.
There was not an inch of garden ground left about the house, nor a tree
that produced fruit of any kind; nor did he raise a truss of hay, or a
bushel of oats for his horses, nor had he a single cow to afford milk
for his tea; far less did he ever dream of feeding his own mutton,
pigs, and poultry: every article of housekeeping, even the most
inconsiderable, was brought from the next market town, at the distance
of five miles, and thither they sent a courier every morning to fetch
hot rolls for breakfast. In short, Baynard fairly owned that he spent
double his income, and that in a few years he should be obliged to sell
his estate for the payment of his creditors. He said that his wife had
such delicate nerves, and such imbecility of spirit, that she could
neither bear remonstrance, be it ever so gentle, nor practise any scheme
of retrenchment, even if she perceived the necessity of such a measure.
He had therefore ceased struggling against the stream, and endeavoured
to reconcile himself to ruin, by reflecting that his child at least
would inherit his mother’s fortune, which was secured to him by the
contract of marriage.
The detail which he gave me of his affairs, filled me at once with grief
and indignation. I inveighed bitterly against the indiscretion of his
wife, and reproached him with his unmanly acquiescence under the absurd
tyranny which she exerted. I exhorted him to recollect his resolution,
and make one effectual effort to disengage himself from a thraldom,
equally shameful and pernicious. I offered him all the assistance in my
power. I undertook to regulate his affairs, and even to bring about a
reformation in his family, if he would only authorise me to execute the
plan I should form for his advantage. I was so affected by the subject,
that I could not help mingling tears with my remonstrances, and Baynard
was so penetrated with these marks of my affection, that he lost all
power of utterance. He pressed me to his breast with great emotion, and
wept in silence. At length he exclaimed, ‘Friendship is undoubtedly the
most precious balm of life! Your words, dear Bramble, have in a great
measure recalled me from an abyss of despondence, in which I have
been long overwhelmed. I will, upon honour, make you acquainted with
a distinct state of my affairs, and, as far as I am able to go, will
follow the course you prescribe. But there are certain lengths which my
nature--The truth is, there are tender connexions, of which a batchelor
has no idea--Shall I own my weakness? I cannot bear the thoughts of
making that woman uneasy’--‘And yet (cried I), she has seen you unhappy
for a series of years--unhappy from her misconduct, without ever shewing
the least inclination to alleviate your distress’--‘Nevertheless (said
he) I am persuaded she loves me with the most warm affection; but these
are incongruities in the composition of the human mind which I hold to
be inexplicable.’