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The haunted house

Hilaire Belloc

upon it—and in the dining-room, where he had been allowed on grand occasions of childhood, in the old dining-room now panelled, damasked and changed out of recognition, the abominable Ancestor grinning, and the abominable “refectory” table, long, with carved legs, darkened, and of the sort called antique. He would change all that. He was as certain that he would change all that as he was that he had (virtually) the twenty thousand pounds; and of such is the kingdom of twenty-three years old. * * * * * Aunt Hilda came in, not over-pleased with whatever she had been doing. She had been calling on the county people, and she always felt after doing that that she was not quite on their scale. But before going out to call upon people (and she was so kind that she had done it in her little car, leaving the big one for John and his luggage), she had read two letters which had put her out not a little. The first was John’s with its enclosure—and it made her hot with anger to think of it. The second was from the Esthonian. He would not wait. It was a shame, and it was silly. She had virtually sold the place. She was quite sure that either Lord Hellup or dear Amathea’s husband would buy. Why, it would probably be decided that very week-end. He could perfectly well wait. She was sure he was only fussing in order to make her renew. And _that_ she was determined she would _not_ do.
Illustration note[Illustration: _The atheist Gaul_]
But this criticism of the Esthonian was uncharitable, and also unwise in Aunt Hilda. The Esthonian was really suffering, for Esthonians who have Europeans in their debt are yet often in debt themselves to bigger Esthonians; and such was the condition of this Esthonian. And for all I know, even the larger Esthonian up above was in debt to yet another enormous Esthonian, until you got to the centre of the great spider’s web in New York, to which nowadays even Frankfort and London bow down. But anyhow, in this piffling matter of these few thousand pounds the Esthonian was fussing abominably, and his letter was peremptory. The date for payment fell in the very next week. He respectfully but very urgently required her answer. Had she received anything on account? Had she anything to show him in writing which he could show to others (for the Esthonian was quite frank in this matter, as he sometimes was when he thought it profitable to be so). He said he really needed the money; and he really did—there was no reason why he should pretend not to; quite the contrary. But it is true that the Esthonian did not need the money so very much as he pretended. Alas! poor Aunt Hilda had no writing yet to show! You cannot show in writing the growing devotion of an American business man to a fine figure of an Englishwoman not so old as himself. Nor the growing appetite for a quiet country place in the wife of a Coalition Peer. She had not answered the letter. She had temporised. And that made her mood more irritable still. It was in such a state of human tempers—Aunt Hilda exasperated and John, as he believed, quiet and firm, but really more exasperated still—that the meeting between them took place. She poured out tea for him. He spoke vaguely of London and, knowing well that he was applying an irritant, he told her with what anxiety to be under her roof he had put off his engagement upon the Halls. She in her turn had exploded at him and told him that she wanted to hear nothing about that horrible side of life, and he had said: “Very well, very well. There’s nothing in it, to be sure.” She wanted to make the best of her party for her guests. She felt that her nephew was popular with those whom he knew, and could make himself popular with those whom he did not. She switched off on to who was coming. “I’ve told you who they are, John, there are only five, and only two women. I had to ask Lord Hambourne, because he was so kind to me over that unfortunate business of Oriel when _you_ refused to go to Oxford. He was _most_ considerate. He made every allowance for you. I’ve always been intending to have him down at the Catchings, and I’ve not had him here all that time.” John nodded. “If only you had gone to Oxford, John, you would have had the advantage of one of the greatest minds in the world. Lord Hambourne....” John interrupted. “Yes, I know,” he said. “They call him Hambone.” “That’s silly and vulgar,” said Aunt Hilda. “It is,” said John. “So is he.” “He’s nothing of the sort. I met him often when I ran up there before you came back to England when I was making the arrangements. He’s one of the nicest men I have ever met. You only run him down because he’s poor.” “That may have something to do with it,” said John deliberately. Aunt Hilda was on the point of violence, when she controlled herself and turned it off to the other two. “Then there’s Lord Hellup, and his daughter Isabeau.” Aunt Hilda looked at her nephew for a moment, but he gave no response. “Have you met them?” she said. “Yes,” he answered rather surlily. “I’ve met them at the Pattles’.” “There are no Pattles,” said Aunt Hilda majestically. “If you mean Lady Pattle....” “Yes, I mean old Mother Pattle,” said John, and Aunt Hilda sighed. “Then there’s a man, John, I really want you to meet, and to be careful about, if only for my sake.” John said that for her sake he would do anything. “Very young men like you, John, may do things that not only ruin their own careers, but really hurt other people. I have asked Amathea—Amathea de Beaurivage that is—and her husband.” John looked at her innocently. “Why not? Who are they?” “You know perfectly well, John,” she said. “The man that was Sir George Huggins, who did all that splendid work during the war.” “Oh, Lord Mere de Boreevarge?” said John, charmingly and spontaneously. “Yes, I’ve read about him. A great financial brain. I read that only to-day, as I was coming down, in the paper—which paper, upon my soul, I forget. Or was it in _The Howl_?—which belongs to Cad Toronto.” “For God’s sake, John,” said Aunt Hilda, exasperated, “behave yourself, at any rate when you meet him! And why do you call him De Bo-ree-varge?” “Because it’s spelt that way. And I’ve always read it like that.” “Well, I don’t know if you’re telling the truth. But please to understand that it’s Bruvvish.” “I will,” said John solemnly. “I’ll call him Mere Bruvvish, and her, Lady Mere Bruvvish. Bruvvish all the time.” Aunt Hilda got up from her chair and stood in front of the fire looking at her nephew. She had something to say. It might be the wrong time to say it, when they were half-quarrelling; but she wanted to get it over, and perhaps a certain softness of manner would come better after a passage like this than later on, when the trouble might begin again. “John,” she said, “I want to put it to you quite frankly. I think it would be wrong to hide it from you, though I have a perfect right to do what I am doing. I want to tell you everything, so that nothing shall go wrong, because these next few days are so important to me; and to you too, my dear. And to Rackham Catchings.” “Never mind me, Aunt Hilda,” said John quietly. “And for the matter of that, don’t take too much trouble about the Catchings.” Aunt Hilda controlled herself again. “Both those men are prepared to make an offer. I shall ask £60,000 for £50,000. And I happen to know, privately, that both are thinking of it.” “I didn’t know Hambone was worth it,” said John quietly. “Nonsense,” snapped his aunt. “Hambourne indeed! Lord Hambourne! And please don’t call him Hambone, like a schoolboy. No! Lord Hellup, and Amathea and her husband may either, or both, make an offer. There. I’ve told you, and you ought to know. Remember, John,” she went on hurriedly, “that you are the only one I have, and when I am gone” (after which illogical sentence she heaved a profound sigh from her considerable chest—which had, as might be, thirty more years of life in it), “it really concerns you as much as it does myself. I tell you quite frankly, and quite plainly, that I am not going to take less than £50,000.” For half a minute or so John gave no answer. She had said nothing about his letter. He looked in the fire, as though it were an old friend with whom he was consulting, and leaned his solid young head on his left hand. Then he rose slowly in his turn, and without facing Aunt Hilda, putting both hands upon the mantelpiece and still gazing into the fire, he said: “Aunt Hilda, I can’t offer you £50,000; but you’ve had my letter, there you have it in black and white, after so much palaver. I can and do offer you £20,000. It’s firm.” The effect of this remark upon Aunt Hilda may be compared to that produced by the slipping of a piece of ice down the neck of a neighbour at dinner during an ardent conversation; a practical joke which I hope is no longer fashionable. The victim is at first oddly shocked, as by a spasm—then stabbed into language. So Aunt Hilda. After a gasp she flamed up, turned round, found her nephew no longer staring at the fire in gentle distraction but facing her, square, firm, and defiant. She had received his challenge, she repeated the old insult. “Twenty thousand pounds? Why, you haven’t got twenty thousand pence!” The insolence of his proposition! The insufficiency of it! The wild impossibility of his being able to fulfil it! His assurance! Why, he was her dependent—— John Maple was like a wrestler in his attitude and in his mood, standing ready for the spring. He tried hard not to quiver, but he was quivering all the same. “I have said twenty thousand more than once, Aunt Hilda, and now I’ve written it and given you the paper to accept,” he answered, “I _mean_ twenty thousand.” Her reply was complete. She told him not to make a fool of himself. They both sat down to cool off. “Well, John, it’s no good quarrelling over nonsense, is it?” “It isn’t nonsense,” said John. “There may be a day,” he added darkly, “when you will think better of it.” Aunt Hilda groaned. She had not had much to do with young people, but she had heard they were all like that. She recovered her temper. “There may be, John,” she said, laughing uneasily, “but at any rate not yet, and not for Rackham Catchings.” “I didn’t offer it for the Catchings. I know the Catchings would cost more. I offered it for Rackham.” And he went out to cool off further. They saw each other no more till dinner. * * * * * At dinner a truce was declared. They talked of anything: principally of the County. Hilda Maple was longing to do two things: first, to relieve her nerves by asking him to be particularly good when the guests came on the morrow, Saturday—but she had had the sense to hold her tongue—it would only have provoked a new quarrel, and after all, she could trust John Maple to behave himself if he felt inclined. She also knew that nothing would prevent his saying something to upset the _ci-devant_ Huggins and his wife if he did not feel inclined. With Hellup she felt he was safe, and as he had no particular grudge against lords as such or dons as such, but rather a natural sympathy with poor men, she felt he would be safe with Lord Hambourne—though she could not get over the disrespectful allusion to Hambone; but she thought he might have picked it up from his Oxford acquaintances in London, and she let it lie.
Illustration note[Illustration: _“Twenty thousand pounds? You haven’t got twenty thousand pence!” said Aunt Hilda_]
The second thing she wanted to do was to examine him on this very point of Lord Hambourne. She herself hardly knew the man. She had observed