The life and opinions of Tristram Shandy, gentleman
I told you in it, _That my mother was not a papist._——Papist! You told
me no such thing, Sir.—Madam, I beg leave to repeat it over again, that
I told you as plain, at least, as words, by direct inference, could
tell you such a thing.—Then, Sir, I must have miss’d a page.—No, Madam,
you have not miss’d a word.—Then I was asleep, Sir.—My pride, Madam,
cannot allow you that refuge.—Then, I declare, I know nothing at all
about the matter.—That, Madam, is the very fault I lay to your charge;
and as a punishment for it, I do insist upon it, that you immediately
turn back, that is as soon as you get to the next full stop, and read
the whole chapter over again. I have imposed this penance upon the
lady, neither out of wantonness nor cruelty; but from the best of
motives; and therefore shall make her no apology for it when she
returns back:—’Tis to rebuke a vicious taste, which has crept into
thousands besides herself,—of reading straight forwards, more in quest
of the adventures, than of the deep erudition and knowledge which a
book of this cast, if read over as it should be, would infallibly
impart with them——The mind should be accustomed to make wise
reflections, and draw curious conclusions as it goes along; the
habitude of which made _Pliny_ the younger affirm, “That he never read
a book so bad, but he drew some profit from it.” The stories of
_Greece_ and _Rome_, run over without this turn and application,—do
less service, I affirm it, than the history of _Parismus_ and
_Parismenus_, or of the Seven Champions of _England_, read with it.
———But here comes my fair lady. Have you read over again the chapter,
Madam, as I desired you?—You have: And did you not observe the passage,
upon the second reading, which admits the inference?—Not a word like
it! Then, Madam, be pleased to ponder well the last line but one of the
chapter, where I take upon me to say, “It was _necessary_ I should be
born before I was christen’d.” Had my mother, Madam, been a Papist,
that consequence did not follow.[1]
It is a terrible misfortune for this same book of mine, but more so to
the Republick of letters;—so that my own is quite swallowed up in the
consideration of it,—that this self-same vile pruriency for fresh
adventures in all things, has got so strongly into our habit and
humour,—and so wholly intent are we upon satisfying the impatience of
our concupiscence that way,—that nothing but the gross and more carnal
parts of a composition will go down:—The subtle hints and sly
communications of science fly off, like spirits upwards,—the heavy
moral escapes downwards; and both the one and the other are as much
lost to the world, as if they were still left in the bottom of the
ink-horn.
I wish the male-reader has not pass’d by many a one, as quaint and
curious as this one, in which the female-reader has been detected. I
wish it may have its effects;—and that all good people, both male and
female, from example, may be taught to think as well as read.
MEMOIRE presenté à Messieurs les
Docteurs de SORBONNE[2]
_UN Chirurgien Accoucheur, represente à Messieurs les Docteurs de_
SORBONNE, _qu’il y a des cas, quoique très rares, où une mere ne
sçauroit accoucher, & même où l’enfant est tellement renfermé dans le
sein de sa mere, qu’il ne fait parôitre aucune partie de son corps, ce
qui seroit un cas, suivant les Rituels, de lui conférer, du moins sous
condition, le baptême. Le Chirurgien, qui consulte, prétend, par le
moyen d’une_ petite canulle, _de pouvoir baptiser immediatement
l’enfant, sans faire aucun tort à la mere.——Il demand si ce moyen,
qu’il vient de proposer, est permis & légitime, & s’il peut s’en servir
dans les cas qu’il vient d’exposer._
R E P O N S E
_LE Conseil estime, que la question proposée souffre de grandes
difficultés. Les Théologiens posent d’un côté pour principe, que le
baptême, qui est une naissance spirituelle, suppose une premiere
naissance; il faut être né dans le monde, pour renaître en_ Jesus
Christ, _comme ils l’enseignent. S._ Thomas, 3 part. quæst. 88 artic.
11. _suit cette doctrine comme une verité constante; l’on ne peut, dit
ce S. Docteur, baptiser les enfans qui sont renférmes dans le sein de
leurs meres, & S._ Thomas _est fondé sur ce, que les enfans ne sont
point nés, & ne peuvent être comptés parmi les autres hommes; d’où il
conclud, qu’ils ne peuvent être l’objet d’une action extérieure, pour
reçevoir par leur ministére, les sacremens nécessaires au salut:_ Pueri
in maternis uteris existentes nondum prodierunt in lucem ut cum aliis
hominibus vitam ducant; unde non possunt subjici actioni humanæ, ut per
eorum ministerium sacramenta recipiant ad salutem. _Les rituels
ordonnent dans la pratique ce que les théologiens ont établi sur les
mêmes matiéres, & ils deffendent tous d’une maniére uniforme, de
baptiser les enfans qui sont renfermés dans le sein de leurs meres,
s’ils ne sont paroître quelque partie de leurs corps. Le concours des
théologiens, & des rituels, qui sont les régles des diocéses, paroit
former une autorité qui termine la question presente; cependant le
conseil de conscience considerant d’un côté, que le raisonnement des
théologiens est uniquement fondé sur une raison de convenance, & que la
deffense des rituels suppose que l’on ne peut baptiser immediatement
les enfans ainsi renfermés dans le sein de leurs meres, ce qui est
contre la supposition presente; & d’un autre côté, considerant que lés
mêmes théologiens enseignent, que l’on peut risquer les sacremens que_
Jesus Christ _a établis comme des moyens faciles, mais nécessaires pour
sanctifier les hommes; & d’ailleurs estimant, que les enfans renfermés
dans le sein de leurs meres, pourroient être capables de salut,
parcequ’ils sont capables de damnation;—pour ces considerations, & en
egard à l’expose, suivant lequel on assure avoir trouvé un moyen
certain de baptiser ces enfans ainsi renfermés, sans faire aucun tort à
la mere, le Conseil estime que l’on pourroit se servir du moyen
proposé, dans la confiance qu’il a, que Dieu n’a point laissé ces
sortes d’enfans sans aucuns secours, & supposant, comme il est exposé,
que le moyen dont il s’agit est propre à leur procurer le baptême;
cependant comme il s’agiroit, en autorisant la pratique proposée, de
changer une regle universellement établie, le Conseil croit que celui
qui consulte doit s’addresser à son evêque, & à qui il appartient de
juger de l’utilité, & du danger du moyen proposé, & comme, sous le bon
plaisir de l’evêque, le Conseil estime qu’il faudroit recourir au Pape,
qui a le droit d’expliquer les régles de l’eglise, & d’y déroger dans
le cas, ou la loi ne sçauroit obliger, quelque sage & quelque utile que
paroisse la maniére de baptiser dont il s’agit, le Conseil ne pourroit
l’approver sans le concours de ces deux autorités. On conseile au moins
à celui qui consulte, de s’addresser à son evêque, & de lui faire part
de la presente décision, afin que, si le prelat entre dans les raisons
sur lesquelles les docteurs soussignés s’appuyent, il puisse être
autorisé dans le cas de nécessité, ou il risqueroit trop d’attendre que
la permission fût demandée & accordée d’employer le moyen qu’il propose
si avantageux au salut de l’enfant. Au reste, le Conseil, en estimant
que l’on pourroit s’en servir, croit cependant, que si les enfans dont
il s’agit, venoient au monde, contre l’esperance de ceux qui se
seroient servis du méme moyen, il seroit nécessaire de les baptiser_
sous condition; _& en cela le Conseil se conforme à tous les rituels,
qui en autorisant le baptême d’un enfant qui fait paroître quelque
partie de son corps, enjoignent néantmoins, & ordonnent de le baptiser_
sous condition, _s’il vient heureusement au monde._
Déliberé en _Sorbonne_, le 10 _Avril_, 1733.
A. LE MOYNE.
L. DE ROMIGNY.
DE MARCILLY.
Mr. _Tristram Shandy_’s compliments to Messrs. _Le Moyne, De Romigny_,
and _De Marcilly_; hopes they all rested well the night after so
tiresome a consultation.—He begs to know, whether after the ceremony of
marriage, and before that of consummation, the baptizing all the
HOMUNCULI at once, slapdash, by _injection_, would not be a shorter and
safer cut still; on condition, as above, That if the HOMUNCULI do well,
and come safe into the world after this, that each and every of them
shall be baptized again (_sous condition_)——And provided, in the second
place, That the thing can be done, which Mr. _Shandy_ apprehends it
may, _par le moyen d’une_ petite canulle, and _sans faire aucune tort
au pere._
[1] The _Romish_ Rituals direct the baptizing of the child, in cases
of danger, _before_ it is born;—but upon this proviso, That some part
or other of the child’s body be seen by the baptizer:——But the Doctors
of the _Sorbonne_, by a deliberation held amongst them, _April_ 10,
1733,—have enlarged the powers of the midwives, by determining, That
though no part of the child’s body should appear,—that baptism shall,
nevertheless, be administered to it by injection,—_par le moyen d’une
petite canulle_,—Anglicè _a squirt._—’Tis very strange that St.
_Thomas Aquinas_, who had so good a mechanical head, both for tying
and untying the knots of school-divinity,—should, after so much pains
bestowed upon this,—give up the point at last, as a second _La chose
impossible_,—“Infantes in maternis uteris existentes (quoth St.
_Thomas!_) baptizari possunt _nullo modo._”—O _Thomas! Thomas!_
If the reader has the curiosity to see the question upon baptism
_by injection_, as presented to the Doctors of the _Sorbonne_, with
their consultation thereupon, it is as follows.
[2] Vide Deventer. Paris Edit. 4to, 1734, p. 366.
C H A P. XXI
——I WONDER what’s all that noise, and running backwards and forwards
for, above stairs, quoth my father, addressing himself, after an hour
and a half’s silence, to my uncle _Toby_,——who, you must know, was
sitting on the opposite side of the fire, smoaking his social pipe all
the time, in mute contemplation of a new pair of black plush-breeches
which he had got on:—What can they be doing, brother?—quoth my
father,—we can scarce hear ourselves talk.
I think, replied my uncle _Toby_, taking his pipe from his mouth, and
striking the head of it two or three times upon the nail of his left
thumb, as he began his sentence,——I think, says he:——But to enter
rightly into my uncle _Toby_’s sentiments upon this matter, you must be
made to enter first a little into his character, the out-lines of which
I shall just give you, and then the dialogue between him and my father
will go on as well again.
Pray what was that man’s name,—for I write in such a hurry, I have no
time to recollect or look for it,——who first made the observation,
“That there was great inconstancy in our air and climate?” Whoever he
was, ’twas a just and good observation in him.—But the corollary drawn
from it, namely, “That it is this which has furnished us with such a
variety of odd and whimsical characters;”—that was not his;—it was
found out by another man, at least a century and a half after him: Then
again,—that this copious store-house of original materials, is the true
and natural cause that our Comedies are so much better than those of
_France_, or any others that either have, or can be wrote upon the
Continent:——that discovery was not fully made till about the middle of
King _William_’s reign,—when the great _Dryden_, in writing one of his
long prefaces, (if I mistake not) most fortunately hit upon it. Indeed
toward the latter end of queen _Anne_, the great _Addison_ began to
patronize the notion, and more fully explained it to the world in one
or two of his Spectators;—but the discovery was not his.—Then, fourthly
and lastly, that this strange irregularity in our climate, producing so