The Lilac Sunbonnet: A Love Story
fascinations in the glass, a panorama which was to some extent
marred by the necessary opening of his mouth to enable the razor
he was using to excavate the bristles out of the professional
creases in his lower jaw. Saunders pulled down his mouth to
express extra grief when a five-foot grave had been ordered. His
seven-foot manifestations of respect for the deceased were a sight
to see. He held the opinion that anybody that had no more 'conceit
o' themsel'' [were so much left to themselves] than to be buried
in a three-foot grave, did not deserve to be mourned at all. This
crease, then, was one of Saunders's assets, and had therefore to
be carefully attended to. Even love must not interfere with it.)
"Sae after that, I shall tak' her roun' the waist, juist like
this--" said he, insinuating his left arm circumferentially. It
was an ill-judged movement, for, instead of circling Meg Kissock's
waist, he extended his arm round the off hindleg of Birsie, the
minister's pony, who had become a trifle short tempered in his old
age. Now it was upon that very leg and at that very place that,
earlier in the day, a large buzzing horse-fly had temporarily
settled. Birsie was in no condition, therefore, for argument upon
the subject. So with the greatest readiness he struck straight out
behind and took Saunders what he himself called a "dinnle on the
elbuck." Nor was this all, for the razor suddenly levered upwards
by Birsie's hoof added another and entirely unprofessional wrinkle
to his face.
Saunders uprose in wrath, for the soap was stinging furiously in
the cut, and expostulated with Birsie with a handful of reins
which he lifted off the lid of the corn-chest.
"Ye ill-natured, thrawn, upsettin' blastie, ye donnart auld
deevil!" he cried.
"Alexander Mowdiewort, gin ye desire to use minced oaths and braid
oaths indiscriminately, ye shall not use them in my stable. Though
ye be but a mere Erastian and uncertain in yer kirk membership, ye
are at least an occasional hearer, whilk is better than naething,
at the kirk o' the Marrow; and what is more to the point, ye are
my own hired servant, and I desire that ye cease from makin' use
o' any such expressions upon my premises."
"Weel, minister," said Saunders, penitently, "I ken brawly I'm i'
the wrang; but ye ken yersel', gin ye had gotten a dinnle i' the
elbuck that garred ye loup like a troot i' Luckie Mowatt's pool,
or gin ye had cuttit yersel' wi' yer ain razor, wad 'Effectual
Callin',' think ye, hae been the first word i' yer mooth? Noo,
minister, fair Hornie!"
"At any rate," said the minister, "what I would have said or done
is no excuse for you, as ye well know. But how did it happen?"
"Weel, sir, ye see the way o't was this: I was thinkin' to mysel',
'There's twa or three ways o' takin' the buiks intil the pulpit--
There's the way consequential--that's Gilbert Prettiman o' the
Kirkland's way. Did ever ye notice the body? He hauds the Bibles
afore him as if he war Moses an' Aaron gaun afore Pharaoh, wi' the
coat-taillies o' him fleein' oot ahint, an' his chin pointin' to
the soon'in'-board o' the pulpit."
"Speak respectfully of the patriarchs," said Mr. Welsh
sententiously. Saunders looked at him with some wonder expressed
in his eyes.
"Far be it frae me," he said, "to speak lichtly o' ony ane o' them
(though, to tell the truth, some o' them war gye boys). I hae been
ower lang connectit wi' them, for I hae carriet the buiks for
fifteen year, ever since my faither racket himsel' howkin' the
grave o' yer predecessor, honest man, an' I hae leeved a' my days
juist ower the wa' frae the kirk."
"But then they say, Saunders," said the minister, smilingly, "'the
nearer the kirk the farther frae grace.'"
"'Deed, minister," said Saunders, "Grace Kissock is a nice bit
lassie, but an' Jess will be no that ill in a year or twa, but o'
a' the Kissocks commend me till Meg. She wad mak' a graund wife.
What think ye, minister?"
Mr. Welsh relaxed his habitual severe sadness of expression and
laughed a little. He was accustomed to the sudden jumps which his
man's conversation was wont to take.
"Nay," he said, "but that is a question for you, Saunders. It is
not I that think of marrying her."
"The Lord be thankit for that! for gin the minister gaed speerin',
what chance wad there be for the betheral?"
"Have you spoken to Meg herself yet?" asked Mr. Welsh.
"Na," said Saunders; "I haena that, though I hae made up my mind
to hae it oot wi' her this verra nicht--if sae it micht be that ye
warna needin' me, that is--" he added, doubtfully, "but I hae guid
reason to hope that Meg--"
"What reason have you, Saunders? Has Margaret expressed a
preference for you in any way?"
"Preference!" said Saunders; "'deed she has that, minister; a
maist marked preference. It was only the last Tuesday afore
Whussanday [Whitsunday] that she gied me a clour [knock] i' the
lug that fair dang me stupid. Caa that ye nocht?"
"Well, Saunders," said the minister, going out, "certainly I wish
you good speed in your wooing; but see that you fall no more out
with Birsie, lest you be more bruised than you are now; and for
the rest, learn wisely to restrain your unruly member."
"Thank ye, minister," said Saunders; "I'll do my best endeavours
to obleege ye. Meg's clours are to be borne wi' a' complaisancy,
but Birsie's dunts are, so to speak, gratuitous!"
CHAPTER IX.
THE ADVENT OF THE CUIF.
"Here's the Cuif!" said Meg Kissock, who with her company gown on,
and her face glowing from a brisk wash, sat knitting a stocking in
the rich gloaming light at the gable end of the house of Craig
Ronald. Winsome usually read a book, sitting by the window which
looked up the long green croft to the fir-woods and down to the
quiet levels of Loch Grannoch, on which the evening mist was
gathering a pale translucent blue. It was a common thing for Meg
and Jessie Kissock to bring their knitting and darning there, and
on their milking-stools sit below the window. If Winsome were in a
mood for talk she did not read much, but listened instead to the
brisk chatter of the maids. Sometimes the ploughmen, Jock Forrest
and Ebie Farrish, came to "ca' the crack," and it was Winsome's
delight on these occasions to listen to the flashing claymore of
Meg Kissock's rustic wit. Before she settled down, Meg had taken
in the three tall candles "ben the hoose," where the old people
sat--Walter Skirving, as ever, silent and far away, his wife deep
in some lively book lent her by the Lady Elizabeth out of the
library of Greatorix Castle.
A bank of wild thyme lay just beneath Winsome's window, and over
it the cows were feeding, blowing softly through their nostrils
among the grass and clover till the air was fragrant with their
balmy breath.
"Guid e'en to ye, 'Cuif,'" cried Meg Kissock as soon as Saunders
Mowdiewort came within earshot. He came stolidly forward tramping
through the bog with his boots newly greased with what remained of
the smooth candle "dowp" with which he had sleeked his flaxen
locks. He wore a broad blue Kilmarnock bonnet, checked red and
white in a "dam-brod" [draught-board] pattern round the edge, and
a blue-buttoned coat with broad pearl buttons. It may be well to
explain that there is a latent meaning, apparent only to Galloway
folk of the ancient time, in the word "cuif." It conveys at once
the ideas of inefficiency and folly, of simplicity and the
ignorance of it. The cuif is a feckless person of the male sex,
who is a recognized butt for a whole neighbourhood to sharpen its
wits upon.
The particular cuif so addressed by Meg came slowly over the
knoll.
"Guid e'en to ye," he said, with his best visiting manners.
"Can ye no see me as weel, Saunders?" said Jess, archly, for all
was grist that came to her mill.
Saunders rose like a trout to the fly.
"Ow aye, Jess, lass, I saw ye brawly, but it disna do to come
seekin' twa lasses at ae time."'
"Dinna ye be thinkin' to put awa' Meg, an' then come coortin' me!"
said Jess, sharply.
Saunders was hurt for the moment at this pointed allusion both to
his profession and also to his condition as a "seekin'" widower.
"Wha seeks you, Jess, 'ill be sair ill-aff!" he replied very
briskly for a cuif.
The sound of Meg's voice in round altercation with Jock Gordon,
the privileged "natural" or innocent fool of the parish,
interrupted this interchange of amenities, which was indeed as
friendly and as much looked for between lads and lasses as the
ordinary greeting of "Weel, hoo's a' wi' ye the nicht?" which
began every conversation between responsible folks.
"Jock Gordon, ye lazy ne'er-do-weel, ye hinna carried in a single
peat, an' it comin' on for parritch-time. D'ye think my maister
can let the like o' you sorn on him, week in, week oot, like a
mawk on a sheep's hurdie? Gae wa' oot o' that, lyin' sumphin'
[sulking] an' sleepin' i' the middle o' the forenicht, an' carry
the water for the boiler an' bring in the peats frae the stack."
Then there arose a strange elricht quavering voice--the voice of
those to whom has not been granted their due share of wits. Jock
Gordon was famed all over the country for his shrewd replies to
those who set their wits in contest with his. Jock is remembered
on all Deeside, and even to Nithsdale. He was a man well on in
years at this time, certainly not less than forty-five. But on his
face there was no wrinkle set, not a fleck of gray upon his
bonnetless fox-red shock of hair, weather-rusted and usually stuck
full of feathers and short pieces of hay. Jock Gordon was
permitted to wander as a privileged visitor through the length and
breadth of the south hill country. He paid long visits to Craig
Ronald, where he had a great admiration and reverence for the
young mistress, and a hearty detestation for Meg Kissock, who, as
he at all times asserted, "was the warst maister to serve atween
the Cairnsmuirs."
"Richt weel I'll do yer biddin', Meg Kissock," he answered in his
shrill falsetto, "but no for your sake or the sake o' ony
belangin' to you. But there's yae bonny doo [dove], wi' her hair
like gowd, an' a fit that she micht set on Jock Gordon's neck, an'
it wad please him weel. An' said she, 'Do the wark Meg Kissock
bids ye,' so Jock Gordon, Lord o' Kelton Hill an' Earl o'
Clairbrand, will perform a' yer wull. Otherwise it's no in any
dochter o' Hurkle-backit [bent-backed] Kissock to gar Jock Gordon
move haund or fit."
So saying, Jock clattered away with his water-pails, muttering to
himself.
Meg Kissock came out again to sit down on her milking-stool under
the westward window, within which was Winsome Charteris, reading
her book unseen by the last glow of the red west.
Jess and Saunders Mowdiewort had fallen silent. Jess had said her
say, and did not intend to exert herself to entertain her sister's
admirer. Jess was said to look not unkindly on Ebie Farrish, the
younger ploughman who had recently come to Craig Ronald from one
of the farms at the "laigh" end of the parish. Ebie had also, it
was said, with better authority, a hanging eye to Jess, who had
the greater reason to be kind to him, that he was the first since
her return from England who had escaped the more BRAVURA
attractions of her sister.
"Can ye no find a seat guid eneuch to sit doon on, cuif?" inquired
Meg with quite as polite an intention as though she had said, "Be
so kind as to take a seat." The cuif, who had been uneasily
balancing himself first on one foot and then on the other, and
apologetically passing his hand over the sleek side of his head
which was not covered by the bonnet, replied gratefully:
"'Deed I wull that, Meg, since ye are sae pressin'."
He went to the end of the milk-house, selected a small tub used
for washing the dishes of red earthenware and other domestic small