The Lives of the Twelve Caesars, Complete
posted up about the city, or otherwise published, both in Greek and
Latin: such as these,
Neron, Orestaes, Alkmaion, maetroktonai.
Neonymphon [616] Neron, idian maeter apekteinen.
Orestes and Alcaeon--Nero too,
The lustful Nero, worst of all the crew,
Fresh from his bridal--their own mothers slew.
Quis neget Aeneae magna de stirpe Neronem?
Sustulit hic matrem: sustulit [617] ille patrem.
Sprung from Aeneas, pious, wise and great,
Who says that Nero is degenerate?
Safe through the flames, one bore his sire; the other,
To save himself, took off his loving mother.
Dum tendit citharam noster, dum cornua Parthus,
Noster erit Paean, ille Ekataebeletaes.
His lyre to harmony our Nero strings;
His arrows o’er the plain the Parthian wings:
Ours call the tuneful Paean,--famed in war,
The other Phoebus name, the god who shoots afar. [618]
Roma domus fiet: Vejos migrate, Quirites,
Si non et Vejos occupat ista domus.
All Rome will be one house: to Veii fly,
Should it not stretch to Veii, by and by. [619]
(370) But he neither made any inquiry after the authors, nor when
information was laid before the senate against some of them, would he
allow a severe sentence to be passed. Isidorus, the Cynic philosopher,
said to him aloud, as he was passing along the streets, “You sing the
misfortunes of Nauplius well, but behave badly yourself.” And Datus, a
comic actor, when repeating these words in the piece, “Farewell, father!
Farewell mother!” mimicked the gestures of persons drinking and swimming,
significantly alluding to the deaths of Claudius and Agrippina: and on
uttering the last clause,
Orcus vobis ducit pedes;
You stand this moment on the brink of Orcus;
he plainly intimated his application of it to the precarious position of
the senate. Yet Nero only banished the player and philosopher from the
city and Italy; either because he was insensible to shame, or from
apprehension that if he discovered his vexation, still keener things
might be said of him.
XL. The world, after tolerating such an emperor for little less than
fourteen years, at length forsook him; the Gauls, headed by Julius
Vindex, who at that time governed the province as pro-praetor, being the
first to revolt. Nero had been formerly told by astrologers, that it
would be his fortune to be at last deserted by all the world; and this
occasioned that celebrated saying of his, “An artist can live in any
country;” by which he meant to offer as an excuse for his practice of
music, that it was not only his amusement as a prince, but might be his
support when reduced to a private station. Yet some of the astrologers
promised him, in his forlorn state, the rule of the East, and some in
express words the kingdom of Jerusalem. But the greater part of them
flattered him with assurances of his being restored to his former
fortune. And being most inclined to believe the latter prediction, upon
losing Britain and Armenia, he imagined he had run through all the
misfortunes which the fates had decreed him. But when, upon consulting
the oracle of Apollo at Delphi, he was advised to beware of the
seventy-third year, as if he were not to die till then, never thinking of
Galba’s age, he conceived such hopes, not only of living to advanced
years, but of constant and singular good fortune, that having lost some
things of great value by shipwreck, he scrupled not to say amongst his
friends, that (371) “the fishes would bring them back to him.” At Naples
he heard of the insurrection in Gaul, on the anniversary of the day on
which he killed his mother, and bore it with so much unconcern, as to
excite a suspicion that he was really glad of it, since he had now a fair
opportunity of plundering those wealthy provinces by the right of war.
Immediately going to the gymnasium, he witnessed the exercise of the
wrestlers with the greatest delight. Being interrupted at supper with
letters which brought yet worse news, he expressed no greater resentment,
than only to threaten the rebels. For eight days together, he never
attempted to answer any letters, nor give any orders, but buried the
whole affair in profound silence.
XLI. Being roused at last by numerous proclamations of Vindex, treating
him with reproaches and contempt, he in a letter to the senate exhorted
them to avenge his wrongs and those of the republic; desiring them to
excuse his not appearing in the senate-house, because he had got cold.
But nothing so much galled him, as to find himself railed at as a pitiful
harper, and, instead of Nero, styled Aenobarbus: which being his family
name, since he was upbraided with it, he declared that he would resume
it, and lay aside the name he had taken by adoption. Passing by the
other accusations as wholly groundless, he earnestly refuted that of his
want of skill in an art upon which he had bestowed so much pains, and in
which he had arrived at such perfection; asking frequently those about
him, “if they knew any one who was a more accomplished musician?” But
being alarmed by messengers after messengers of ill news from Gaul, he
returned in great consternation to Rome. On the road, his mind was
somewhat relieved, by observing the frivolous omen of a Gaulish soldier
defeated and dragged by the hair by a Roman knight, which was sculptured
on a monument; so that he leaped for joy, and adored the heavens. Even
then he made no appeal either to the senate or people, but calling
together some of the leading men at his own house, he held a hasty
consultation upon the present state of affairs, and then, during the
remainder of the day, carried them about with him to view some musical
instruments, of a new invention, which were played by water [620] (372)
exhibiting all the parts, and discoursing upon the principles and
difficulties of the contrivance; which, he told them, he intended to
produce in the theatre, if Vindex would give him leave.
XLII. Soon afterwards, he received intelligence that Galba and the
Spaniards had declared against him; upon which, he fainted, and losing
his reason, lay a long time speechless, apparently dead. As soon as
recovered from this state stupefaction he tore his clothes, and beat his
head, crying out, “It is all over with me!” His nurse endeavouring to
comfort him, and telling him that the like things had happened to other
princes before him, he replied, “I am beyond all example wretched, for I
have lost an empire whilst I am still living.” He, nevertheless, abated
nothing of his luxury and inattention to business. Nay, on the arrival
of good news from the provinces, he, at a sumptuous entertainment, sung
with an air of merriment, some jovial verses upon the leaders of the
revolt, which were made public; and accompanied them with suitable
gestures. Being carried privately to the theatre, he sent word to an
actor who was applauded by the spectators, “that he had it all his own
way, now that he himself did not appear on the stage.”
XLIII. At the first breaking out of these troubles, it is believed that
he had formed many designs of a monstrous nature, although conformable
enough to his natural disposition. These were to send new governors and
commanders to the provinces and the armies, and employ assassins to
butcher all the former governors and commanders, as men unanimously
engaged in a conspiracy against him; to massacre the exiles in every
quarter, and all the Gaulish population in Rome; the former lest they
should join the insurrection; the latter as privy to the designs of their
countrymen, and ready to support (373) them; to abandon Gaul itself, to
be wasted and plundered by his armies; to poison the whole senate at a
feast; to fire the city, and then let loose the wild beasts upon the
people, in order to impede their stopping the progress of the flames.
But being deterred from the execution of these designs not so much by
remorse of conscience, as by despair of being able to effect them, and
judging an expedition into Gaul necessary, he removed the consuls from
their office, before the time of its expiration was arrived; and in their
room assumed the consulship himself without a colleague, as if the fates
had decreed that Gaul should not be conquered, but by a consul. Upon
assuming the fasces, after an entertainment at the palace, as he walked
out of the room leaning on the arms of some of his friends, he declared,
that as soon as he arrived in the province, he would make his appearance
amongst the troops, unarmed, and do nothing but weep: and that, after he
had brought the mutineers to repentance, he would, the next day, in the
public rejoicings, sing songs of triumph, which he must now, without loss
of time, apply himself to compose.
XLIV. In preparing for this expedition, his first care was to provide
carriages for his musical instruments and machinery to be used upon the
stage; to have the hair of the concubines he carried with him dressed in
the fashion of men; and to supply them with battle-axes, and Amazonian
bucklers. He summoned the city-tribes to enlist; but no qualified
persons appearing, he ordered all masters to send a certain number of
slaves, the best they had, not excepting their stewards and secretaries.
He commanded the several orders of the people to bring in a fixed
proportion of their estates, as they stood in the censor’s books; all
tenants of houses and mansions to pay one year’s rent forthwith into the
exchequer; and, with unheard-of strictness, would receive only new coin
of the purest silver and the finest gold; insomuch that most people
refused to pay, crying out unanimously that he ought to squeeze the
informers, and oblige them to surrender their gains.
XLV. The general odium in which he was held received an increase by the
great scarcity of corn, and an occurrence connected with it. For, as it
happened just at that time, there arrived from Alexandria a ship, which
was said to be freighted (374) with dust for the wrestlers belonging to
the emperor [621]. This so much inflamed the public rage, that he was
treated with the utmost abuse and scurrility. Upon the top of one of his
statues was placed the figure of a chariot with a Greek inscription, that
“Now indeed he had a race to run; let him be gone.” A little bag was
tied about another, with a ticket containing these words; “What could I
do?”--“Truly thou hast merited the sack.” [622] Some person likewise
wrote on the pillars in the forum, “that he had even woke the cocks [623]
with his singing.” And many, in the night-time, pretending to find fault
with their servants, frequently called for a Vindex. [624]
XLVI. He was also terrified with manifest warnings, both old and new,
arising from dreams, auspices, and omens. He had never been used to
dream before the murder of his mother. After that event, he fancied in
his sleep that he was steering a ship, and that the rudder was forced
from him: that he was dragged by his wife Octavia into a prodigiously
dark place; and was at one time covered over with a vast swarm of winged
ants, and at another, surrounded by the national images which were set up
near Pompey’s theatre, and hindered from advancing farther; that a
Spanish jennet he was fond of, had his hinder parts so changed, as to
resemble those of an ape; and having his head only left unaltered,
neighed very harmoniously. The doors of the mausoleum of Augustus flying
open of themselves, there issued from it a voice, calling on him by name.
The Lares being adorned with fresh garlands on the calends (the first) of
January, fell down during the preparations for sacrificing to them.
While he was taking (375) the omens, Sporus presented him with a ring,