The Lives of the Twelve Caesars, Complete
him two sons, whom he had by a most excellent and respectable wife,
Sextilia. He had lived to see them both consuls, the same year and
during the whole year also; the younger succeeding the elder for the last
six months [699]. The senate honoured him after his decease with a
funeral at the public expense, and with a statue in the Rostra, which had
this inscription upon the base: “One who was steadfast in his loyalty to
his prince.” The emperor Aulus Vitellius, the son of this Lucius, was born
upon the eighth of the calends of October [24th September], or, as some
say, upon the seventh of the ides of September [7th September], in the
consulship of Drusus Caesar and Norbanus Flaccus [700]. His parents were
so (430) terrified with the predictions of astrologers upon the
calculation of his nativity, that his father used his utmost endeavours
to prevent his being sent governor into any of the provinces, whilst he
was alive. His mother, upon his being sent to the legions [701], and
also upon his being proclaimed emperor, immediately lamented him as
utterly ruined. He spent his youth amongst the catamites of Tiberius at
Capri, was himself constantly stigmatized with the name of Spintria
[702], and was supposed to have been the occasion of his father’s
advancement, by consenting to gratify the emperor’s unnatural lust.
IV. In the subsequent part of his life, being still most scandalously
vicious, he rose to great favour at court; being upon a very intimate
footing with Caius [Caligula], because of his fondness for
chariot-driving, and with Claudius for his love of gaming. But he was in
a still higher degree acceptable to Nero, as well on the same accounts, as
for a particular service which he rendered him. When Nero presided in the
games instituted by himself, though he was extremely desirous to perform
amongst the harpers, yet his modesty would not permit him, notwithstanding
the people entreated much for it. Upon his quitting the theatre,
Vitellius fetched him back again, pretending to represent the determined
wishes of the people, and so afforded him the opportunity of yielding to
their in treaties.
V. By the favour of these three princes, he was not only advanced to the
great offices of state, but to the highest dignities of the sacred order;
after which he held the proconsulship of Africa, and had the
superintendence of the public works, in which appointment his conduct,
and, consequently, his reputation, were very different. For he governed
the province with singular integrity during two years, in the latter of
which he acted as deputy to his brother, who succeeded him. But in his
office in the city, he was said to pillage the temples of their gifts and
ornaments, and to have exchanged brass and tin for gold and silver. [703]
VI. He took to wife Petronia, the daughter of a man of consular rank,
and had by her a son named Petronius, who was blind of an eye. The
mother being willing to appoint this youth her heir, upon condition that
he should be released from his father’s authority, the latter discharged
him accordingly; but shortly after, as was believed, murdered him,
charging him with a design upon his life, and pretending that he had,
from consciousness of his guilt, drank the poison he had prepared for his
father. Soon afterwards, he married Galeria Fundana, the daughter of a
man of pretorian rank, and had by her both sons and daughters. Among the
former was one who had such a stammering in his speech, that he was
little better than if he had been dumb.
VII. He was sent by Galba into Lower Germany [704], contrary to his
expectation. It is supposed that he was assisted in procuring this
appointment by the interest of Titus Junius, a man of great influence at
that time; whose friendship he had long before gained by favouring the
same set of charioteers with him in the Circensian games. But Galba
openly declared that none were less to be feared than those who only
cared for their bellies, and that even his enormous appetite must be
satisfied with the plenty of that province; so that it is evident he was
selected for that government more out of contempt than kindness. It is
certain, that when he was to set out, he had not money for the expenses
of his journey; he being at that time so much straitened in his
circumstances, that he was obliged to put his wife and children, whom he
left at Rome, into a poor lodging which he hired for them, in order that
he might let his own house for the remainder of the year; and he pawned a
pearl taken from his mother’s ear-ring, to defray his expenses on the
road. A crowd of creditors who were waiting to stop him, and amongst
them the people of Sineussa and Formia, whose taxes he had converted to
his own use, he eluded, by alarming them with the apprehension of false
accusation. He had, however, sued a certain freedman, who was clamorous
in demanding a debt of him, under pretence that he had kicked him; which
action he would not withdraw, until he had wrung from the freedman fifty
thousand sesterces. Upon his arrival in the province, the army, (432)
which was disaffected to Galba, and ripe for insurrection, received him
with open arms, as if he had been sent them from heaven. It was no small
recommendation to their favour, that he was the son of a man who had been
thrice consul, was in the prime of life, and of an easy, prodigal
disposition. This opinion, which had been long entertained of him,
Vitellius confirmed by some late practices; having kissed all the common
soldiers whom he met with upon the road, and been excessively complaisant
in the inns and stables to the muleteers and travellers; asking them in a
morning, if they had got their breakfasts, and letting them see, by
belching, that he had eaten his.
VIII. After he had reached the camp, he denied no man any thing he asked
for, and pardoned all who lay under sentence for disgraceful conduct or
disorderly habits. Before a month, therefore, had passed, without regard
to the day or season, he was hurried by the soldiers out of his
bed-chamber, although it was evening, and he in an undress, and
unanimously saluted by the title of EMPEROR [705]. He was then carried
round the most considerable towns in the neighbourhood, with the sword of
the Divine Julius in his hand; which had been taken by some person out of
the temple of Mars, and presented to him when he was first saluted. Nor
did he return to the pretorium, until his dining-room was in flames from
the chimney’s taking fire. Upon this accident, all being in
consternation, and considering it as an unlucky omen, he cried out,
“Courage, boys! it shines brightly upon us.” And this was all he said to
the soldiers. The army of the Upper Province likewise, which had before
declared against Galba for the senate, joining in the proceedings, he very
eagerly accepted the cognomen of Germanicus, offered him by the unanimous
consent of both armies, but deferred assuming that of Augustus, and
refused for ever that of Caesar.
IX. Intelligence of Galba’s death arriving soon after, when he had
settled his affairs in Germany he divided his troops into two bodies,
intending to send one of them before him against Otho, and to follow with
the other himself. The army he sent forward had a lucky omen; for,
suddenly, an eagle came flying up to them on the right, and having
hovered (433) round the standards, flew gently before them on their road.
But, on the other hand, when he began his own march, all the equestrian
statues, which were erected for him in several places, fell suddenly down
with their legs broken; and the laurel crown, which he had put on as
emblematical of auspicious fortune, fell off his head into a river. Soon
afterwards, at Vienne [706], as he was upon the tribunal administering
justice, a cock perched upon his shoulder, and afterwards upon his head.
The issue corresponded to these omens; for he was not able to keep the
empire which had been secured for him by his lieutenants.
X. He heard of the victory at Bedriacum [707], and the death of Otho,
whilst he was yet in Gaul, and without the least hesitation, by a single
proclamation, disbanded all the pretorian cohorts, as having, by their
repeated treasons, set a dangerous example to the rest of the army;
commanding them to deliver up their arms to his tribunes. A hundred and
twenty of them, under whose hands he had found petitions presented to
Otho, for rewards of their service in the murder of Galba, he besides
ordered to be sought out and punished. So far his conduct deserved
approbation, and was such as to afford hope of his becoming an excellent
prince, had he not managed his other affairs in a way more corresponding
with his own disposition, and his former manner of life, than to the
imperial dignity. For, having begun his march, he rode through every
city in his route in a triumphal procession; and sailed down the rivers
in ships, fitted out with the greatest elegance, and decorated with
various kinds of crowns, amidst the most extravagant entertainments.
Such was the want of discipline, and the licentiousness both in his
family and army, that, not satisfied with the provision every where made
for them at the public expense, they committed every kind of robbery and
insult upon the inhabitants, setting slaves at liberty as they pleased;
and if any dared to make resistance, they dealt blows and abuse,
frequently wounds, and sometimes slaughter amongst them. When he reached
the plains on which the battles (434) were fought [708], some of those
around him being offended at the smell of the carcases which lay rotting
upon the ground, he had the audacity to encourage them by a most
detestable remark, “That a dead enemy smelt not amiss, especially if he
were a fellow-citizen.” To qualify, however, the offensiveness of the
stench, he quaffed in public a goblet of wine, and with equal vanity and
insolence distributed a large quantity of it among his troops. On his
observing a stone with an inscription upon it to the memory of Otho, he
said, “It was a mausoleum good enough for such a prince.” He also sent
the poniard, with which Otho killed himself, to the colony of Agrippina
[709], to be dedicated to Mars. Upon the Appenine hills he celebrated a
Bacchanalian feast.
XI. At last he entered the City with trumpets sounding, in his general’s
cloak, and girded with his sword, amidst a display of standards and
banners; his attendants being all in the military habit, and the arms of
the soldiers unsheathed. Acting more and more in open violation of all
laws, both divine and human, he assumed the office of Pontifex Maximus,
upon the day of the defeat at the Allia [710]; ordered the magistrates to
be elected for ten years of office; and made himself consul for life. To
put it out of all doubt what model he intended to follow in his
government of the empire, he made his offerings to the shade of Nero in
the midst of the Campus Martius, and with a full assembly of the public
priests attending him. And at a solemn entertainment, he desired a
harper who pleased the company much, to sing something in praise of
Domitius; and upon his beginning some songs of Nero’s, he started up in
presence of the whole assembly, and could not refrain from applauding
him, by clapping his hands.
XII. After such a commencement of his career, he conducted (435) his
affairs, during the greater part of his reign, entirely by the advice and
direction of the vilest amongst the players and charioteers, and
especially his freedman Asiaticus. This fellow had, when young, been
engaged with him in a course of mutual and unnatural pollution, but,
being at last quite tired of the occupation, ran away. His master, some
time after, caught him at Puteoli, selling a liquor called Posca [711],