The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood
The greatest in the land.
"Sat Lancelot with raven locks,
Gawaine with golden hair,
Sir Tristram, Kay who kept the locks,
And many another there.
"And through the stained windows bright,
From o'er the red-tiled eaves,
The sunlight blazed with colored light
On golden helms and greaves.
"But suddenly a silence came
About the Table Round,
For up the hall there walked a dame
Bent nigh unto the ground.
"Her nose was hooked, her eyes were bleared,
Her locks were lank and white;
Upon her chin there grew a beard;
She was a gruesome sight.
"And so with crawling step she came
And kneeled at Arthur's feet;
Quoth Kay, 'She is the foulest dame
That e'er my sight did greet.'
"'O mighty King! of thee I crave
A boon on bended knee';
'Twas thus she spoke. 'What wouldst thou have.'
Quoth Arthur, King, 'of me_?'
"_Quoth she, 'I have a foul disease
Doth gnaw my very heart,
And but one thing can bring me ease
Or cure my bitter smart.
"'There is no rest, no ease for me
North, east, or west, or south,
Till Christian knight will willingly
Thrice kiss me on the mouth.
"'Nor wedded may this childe have been
That giveth ease to me;
Nor may he be constrained, I ween,
But kiss me willingly.
"'So is there here one Christian knight
Of such a noble strain
That he will give a tortured wight
Sweet ease of mortal pain?'
"'A wedded man,' quoth Arthur, King,
'A wedded man I be
Else would I deem it noble thing
To kiss thee willingly.
"'Now, Lancelot, in all men's sight
Thou art the head and chief
Of chivalry. Come, noble knight,
And give her quick relief.'
"But Lancelot he turned aside
And looked upon the ground,
For it did sting his haughty pride
To hear them laugh around.
"'Come thou, Sir Tristram,' quoth the King.
Quoth he, 'It cannot be,
For ne'er can I my stomach bring
To do it willingly.'
"'Wilt thou, Sir Kay, thou scornful wight?'
Quoth Kay, 'Nay, by my troth!
What noble dame would kiss a knight
That kissed so foul a mouth_?'
"'_Wilt thou, Gawaine?' 'I cannot, King.'
'Sir Geraint?' 'Nay, not I;
My kisses no relief could bring,
For sooner would I die.'
"Then up and spake the youngest man
Of all about the board,
'Now such relief as Christian can
I'll give to her, my lord.'
"It was Sir Keith, a youthful knight,
Yet strong of limb and bold,
With beard upon his chin as light
As finest threads of gold.
"Quoth Kay, 'He hath no mistress yet
That he may call his own,
But here is one that's quick to get,
As she herself has shown.'
"He kissed her once, he kissed her twice,
He kissed her three times o'er,
A wondrous change came in a trice,
And she was foul no more.
"Her cheeks grew red as any rose,
Her brow as white as lawn,
Her bosom like the winter snows,
Her eyes like those of fawn.
"Her breath grew sweet as summer breeze
That blows the meadows o'er;
Her voice grew soft as rustling trees,
And cracked and harsh no more.
"Her hair grew glittering, like the gold,
Her hands as white as milk;
Her filthy rags, so foul and old,
Were changed to robes of silk.
"In great amaze the knights did stare.
Quoth Kay, 'I make my vow
If it will please thee, lady fair,
I'll gladly kiss thee now_.'
"_But young Sir Keith kneeled on one knee
And kissed her robes so fair.
'O let me be thy slave,' said he,
'For none to thee compare.'
"She bent her down, she kissed his brow,
She kissed his lips and eyes.
Quoth she, 'Thou art my master now,
My lord, my love, arise!
"'And all the wealth that is mine own,
My lands, I give to thee,
For never knight hath lady shown
Such noble courtesy.
"'Bewitched was I, in bitter pain,
But thou hast set me free,
So now I am myself again,
I give myself to thee_.'"
"Yea, truly," quoth Robin Hood, when the Tanner had made an end of
singing, "it is as I remember it, a fair ditty, and a ballad with a
pleasing tune of a song."
"It hath oftentimes seemed to me," said Will Scarlet, "that it hath a
certain motive in it, e'en such as this: That a duty which seemeth to us
sometimes ugly and harsh, when we do kiss it fairly upon the mouth, so
to speak, is no such foul thing after all."
"Methinks thou art right," quoth Robin, "and, contrariwise, that when we
kiss a pleasure that appeareth gay it turneth foul to us; is it not so,
Little John? Truly such a thing hath brought thee sore thumps this day.
Nay, man, never look down in the mouth. Clear thy pipes and sing us a
ditty."
"Nay," said Little John, "I have none as fair as that merry Arthur has
trolled. They are all poor things that I know. Moreover, my voice is
not in tune today, and I would not spoil even a tolerable song by ill
singing."
Upon this all pressed Little John to sing, so that when he had denied
them a proper length of time, such as is seemly in one that is asked to
sing, he presently yielded. Quoth he, 'Well, an ye will ha' it so, I
will give you what I can. Like to fair Will, I have no title to my
ditty, but thus it runs:
"_O Lady mine, the spring is here,
With a hey nonny nonny;
The sweet love season of the year,
With a ninny ninny nonny;
Now lad and lass
Lie in the grass
That groweth green
With flowers between.
The buck doth rest
The leaves do start,
The cock doth crow,
The breeze doth blow,
And all things laugh in_--"
"Who may yon fellow be coming along the road?" said Robin, breaking into
the song.
"I know not," quoth Little John in a surly voice. "But this I do know,
that it is an ill thing to do to check the flow of a good song."
"Nay, Little John," said Robin, "be not vexed, I prythee; but I have
been watching him coming along, bent beneath that great bag over his
shoulder, ever since thou didst begin thy song. Look, Little John, I
pray, and see if thou knowest him."
Little John looked whither Robin Hood pointed. "Truly," quoth he, after
a time, "I think yon fellow is a certain young miller I have seen now
and then around the edge of Sherwood; a poor wight, methinks, to spoil a
good song about."
"Now thou speakest of him," quoth Robin Hood, "methinks I myself have
seen him now and then. Hath he not a mill over beyond Nottingham Town,
nigh to the Salisbury road?"
"Thou art right; that is the man," said Little John.
"A good stout fellow," quoth Robin. "I saw him crack Ned o' Bradford's
crown about a fortnight since, and never saw I hair lifted more neatly
in all my life before."
By this time the young miller had come so near that they could see him
clearly. His clothes were dusted with flour, and over his back he
carried a great sack of meal, bending so as to bring the whole weight
upon his shoulders, and across the sack was a thick quarterstaff. His
limbs were stout and strong, and he strode along the dusty road right
sturdily with the heavy sack across his shoulders. His cheeks were ruddy
as a winter hip, his hair was flaxen in color, and on his chin was a
downy growth of flaxen beard.
"A good honest fellow," quoth Robin Hood, "and such an one as is a
credit to English yeomanrie. Now let us have a merry jest with him. We
will forth as though we were common thieves and pretend to rob him of
his honest gains. Then will we take him into the forest and give him a
feast such as his stomach never held in all his life before. We will
flood his throat with good canary and send him home with crowns in his
purse for every penny he hath. What say ye, lads?"
"Truly, it is a merry thought," said Will Scarlet.
"It is well planned," quoth Little John, "but all the saints preserve us
from any more drubbings this day! Marry, my poor bones ache so that I--"
"Prythee peace, Little John," quoth Robin. "Thy foolish tongue will get
us both well laughed at yet."
"My foolish tongue, forsooth," growled Little John to Arthur a Bland.
"I would it could keep our master from getting us into another coil this
day."
But now the Miller, plodding along the road, had come opposite to where
the yeomen lay hidden, whereupon all four of them ran at him and
surrounded him.
"Hold, friend!" cried Robin to the Miller; whereupon he turned slowly,
with the weight of the bag upon his shoulder, and looked at each in turn
all bewildered, for though a good stout man his wits did not skip like
roasting chestnuts.
"Who bids me stay?" said the Miller in a voice deep and gruff, like the
growl of a great dog.
"Marry, that do I," quoth Robin; "and let me tell thee, friend, thou
hadst best mind my bidding."
"And who art thou, good friend?" said the Miller, throwing the great
sack of meal from his shoulder to the ground, "and who are those with
thee?"
"We be four good Christian men," quoth Robin, "and would fain help thee
by carrying part of thy heavy load."
"I give you all thanks," said the Miller, "but my bag is none that heavy
that I cannot carry it e'en by myself."
"Nay, thou dost mistake," quoth Robin, "I meant that thou mightest
perhaps have some heavy farthings or pence about thee, not to speak of
silver and gold. Our good Gaffer Swanthold sayeth that gold is an
overheavy burden for a two-legged ass to carry; so we would e'en lift
some of this load from thee."
"Alas!" cried the Miller, "what would ye do to me? I have not about me
so much as a clipped groat. Do me no harm, I pray you, but let me depart
in peace. Moreover, let me tell you that ye are upon Robin Hood's
ground, and should he find you seeking to rob an honest craftsman, he
will clip your ears to your heads and scourge you even to the walls of
Nottingham.
"In truth I fear Robin Hood no more than I do myself," quoth jolly
Robin. "Thou must this day give up to me every penny thou hast about
thee. Nay, if thou dost budge an inch I will rattle this staff about
thine ears."
"Nay, smite me not!" cried the Miller, throwing up his elbow as though
he feared the blow. "Thou mayst search me if thou wilt, but thou wilt
find nothing upon me, pouch, pocket, or skin."
"Is it so?" quoth Robin Hood, looking keenly upon him. "Now I believe
that what thou tellest is no true tale. If I am not much mistook thou
hast somewhat in the bottom of that fat sack of meal. Good Arthur,
empty the bag upon the ground; I warrant thou wilt find a shilling or
two in the flour."
"Alas!" cried the Miller, falling upon his knees, "spoil not all my good
meal! It can better you not, and will ruin me. Spare it, and I will
give up the money in the bag."
"Ha!" quoth Robin, nudging Will Scarlet. "Is it so? And have I found
where thy money lies? Marry, I have a wondrous nose for the blessed
image of good King Harry. I thought that I smelled gold and silver
beneath the barley meal. Bring it straight forth, Miller."
Then slowly the Miller arose to his feet, and slowly and unwillingly he
untied the mouth of the bag, and slowly thrust his hands into the meal
and began fumbling about with his arms buried to the elbows in the
barley flour. The others gathered round him, their heads together,
looking and wondering what he would bring forth.
So they stood, all with their heads close together gazing down into the
sack. But while he pretended to be searching for the money, the Miller
gathered two great handfuls of meal. "Ha," quoth he, "here they are, the
beauties." Then, as the others leaned still more forward to see what he
had, he suddenly cast the meal into their faces, filling their eyes and