The Monk: A Romance
advanced towards me with rapid strides, and I expected that every
succeeding moment would be that of my dissolution. Suddenly a
neighbouring Tomb caught my eye: A Basket stood upon it, which till
then I had not observed. I started from my seat: I made towards it as
swiftly as my exhausted frame would permit. How eagerly did I seize the
Basket, on finding it to contain a loaf of coarse bread and a small
bottle of water.
I threw myself with avidity upon these humble aliments. They had to all
appearance been placed in the Vault for several days; The bread was
hard, and the water tainted; Yet never did I taste food to me so
delicious. When the cravings of appetite were satisfied, I busied
myself with conjectures upon this new circumstance: I debated whether
the Basket had been placed there with a view to my necessity. Hope
answered my doubts in the affirmative. Yet who could guess me to be in
need of such assistance? If my existence was known, why was I detained
in this gloomy Vault? If I was kept a Prisoner, what meant the ceremony
of committing me to the Tomb? Or if I was doomed to perish with hunger,
to whose pity was I indebted for provisions placed within my reach? A
Friend would not have kept my dreadful punishment a secret; Neither did
it seem probable that an Enemy would have taken pains to supply me with
the means of existence. Upon the whole I was inclined to think that the
Domina’s designs upon my life had been discovered by some one of my
Partizans in the Convent, who had found means to substitute an opiate
for poison: That She had furnished me with food to support me, till She
could effect my delivery: And that She was then employed in giving
intelligence to my Relations of my danger, and pointing out a way to
release me from captivity. Yet why then was the quality of my
provisions so coarse? How could my Friend have entered the Vault
without the Domina’s knowledge? And if She had entered, why was the
Door fastened so carefully? These reflections staggered me: Yet still
this idea was the most favourable to my hopes, and I dwelt upon it in
preference.
My meditations were interrupted by the sound of distant footsteps. They
approached, but slowly. Rays of light now darted through the crevices
of the Door. Uncertain whether the Persons who advanced came to relieve
me, or were conducted by some other motive to the Vault, I failed not
to attract their notice by loud cries for help. Still the sounds drew
near: The light grew stronger: At length with inexpressible pleasure I
heard the Key turning in the Lock. Persuaded that my deliverance was at
hand, I flew towards the Door with a shriek of joy. It opened: But all
my hopes of escape died away, when the Prioress appeared followed by
the same four Nuns, who had been witnesses of my supposed death. They
bore torches in their hands, and gazed upon me in fearful silence.
I started back in terror. The Domina descended into the Vault, as did
also her Companions. She bent upon me a stern resentful eye, but
expressed no surprize at finding me still living. She took the seat
which I had just quitted: The door was again closed, and the Nuns
ranged themselves behind their Superior, while the glare of their
torches, dimmed by the vapours and dampness of the Vault, gilded with
cold beams the surrounding Monuments. For some moments all preserved a
dead and solemn silence. I stood at some distance from the Prioress. At
length She beckoned me to advance. Trembling at the severity of her
aspect my strength scarce sufficed me to obey her. I drew near, but my
limbs were unable to support their burthen. I sank upon my knees; I
clasped my hands, and lifted them up to her for mercy, but had no power
to articulate a syllable.
She gazed upon me with angry eyes.
“Do I see a Penitent, or a Criminal?” She said at length; “Are those
hands raised in contrition for your crimes, or in fear of meeting their
punishment? Do those tears acknowledge the justice of your doom, or
only solicit mitigation of your sufferings? I fear me, ’tis the
latter!”
She paused, but kept her eye still fixt upon mine.
“Take courage;” She continued: “I wish not for your death, but your
repentance. The draught which I administered, was no poison, but an
opiate. My intention in deceiving you was to make you feel the agonies
of a guilty conscience, had Death overtaken you suddenly while your
crimes were still unrepented. You have suffered those agonies: I have
brought you to be familiar with the sharpness of death, and I trust
that your momentary anguish will prove to you an eternal benefit. It is
not my design to destroy your immortal soul; or bid you seek the grave,
burthened with the weight of sins unexpiated. No, Daughter, far from
it: I will purify you with wholesome chastisement, and furnish you with
full leisure for contrition and remorse. Hear then my sentence; The
ill-judged zeal of your Friends delayed its execution, but cannot now
prevent it. All Madrid believes you to be no more; Your Relations are
thoroughly persuaded of your death, and the Nuns your Partizans have
assisted at your funeral. Your existence can never be suspected; I have
taken such precautions, as must render it an impenetrable mystery. Then
abandon all thoughts of a World from which you are eternally separated,
and employ the few hours which are allowed you, in preparing for the
next.”
This exordium led me to expect something terrible. I trembled, and
would have spoken to deprecate her wrath: but a motion of the Domina
commanded me to be silent. She proceeded.
“Though of late years unjustly neglected, and now opposed by many of
our misguided Sisters, (whom Heaven convert!) it is my intention to
revive the laws of our order in their full force. That against
incontinence is severe, but no more than so monstrous an offence
demands: Submit to it, Daughter, without resistance; You will find the
benefit of patience and resignation in a better life than this. Listen
then to the sentence of St. Clare. Beneath these Vaults there exist
Prisons, intended to receive such criminals as yourself: Artfully is
their entrance concealed, and She who enters them, must resign all
hopes of liberty. Thither must you now be conveyed. Food shall be
supplied you, but not sufficient for the indulgence of appetite: You
shall have just enough to keep together body and soul, and its quality
shall be the simplest and coarsest. Weep, Daughter, weep, and moisten
your bread with your tears: God knows that you have ample cause for
sorrow! Chained down in one of these secret dungeons, shut out from the
world and light for ever, with no comfort but religion, no society but
repentance, thus must you groan away the remainder of your days. Such
are St. Clare’s orders; Submit to them without repining. Follow me!”
Thunderstruck at this barbarous decree, my little remaining strength
abandoned me. I answered only by falling at her feet, and bathing them
with tears. The Domina, unmoved by my affliction, rose from her seat
with a stately air. She repeated her commands in an absolute tone: But
my excessive faintness made me unable to obey her. Mariana and Alix
raised me from the ground, and carried me forwards in their arms. The
Prioress moved on, leaning upon Violante, and Camilla preceded her with
a Torch. Thus passed our sad procession along the passages, in silence
only broken by my sighs and groans. We stopped before the principal
shrine of St. Clare. The Statue was removed from its Pedestal, though
how I knew not. The Nuns afterwards raised an iron grate till then
concealed by the Image, and let it fall on the other side with a loud
crash. The awful sound, repeated by the vaults above, and Caverns below
me, rouzed me from the despondent apathy in which I had been plunged. I
looked before me: An abyss presented itself to my affrighted eyes, and
a steep and narrow Staircase, whither my Conductors were leading me. I
shrieked, and started back. I implored compassion, rent the air with my
cries, and summoned both heaven and earth to my assistance. In vain! I
was hurried down the Staircase, and forced into one of the Cells which
lined the Cavern’s sides.
My blood ran cold, as I gazed upon this melancholy abode. The cold
vapours hovering in the air, the walls green with damp, the bed of
Straw so forlorn and comfortless, the Chain destined to bind me for
ever to my prison, and the Reptiles of every description which as the
torches advanced towards them, I descried hurrying to their retreats,
struck my heart with terrors almost too exquisite for nature to bear.
Driven by despair to madness, I burst suddenly from the Nuns who held
me: I threw myself upon my knees before the Prioress, and besought her
mercy in the most passionate and frantic terms.
“If not on me,” said I, “look at least with pity on that innocent
Being, whose life is attached to mine! Great is my crime, but let not
my Child suffer for it! My Baby has committed no fault: Oh! spare me
for the sake of my unborn Offspring, whom ere it tastes life your
severity dooms to destruction!”
The Prioress drew back haughtily: She forced her habit from my grasp,
as if my touch had been contagious.
“What?” She exclaimed with an exasperated air; “What? Dare you plead
for the produce of your shame? Shall a Creature be permitted to live,
conceived in guilt so monstrous? Abandoned Woman, speak for him no
more! Better that the Wretch should perish than live: Begotten in
perjury, incontinence, and pollution, It cannot fail to prove a Prodigy
of vice. Hear me, thou Guilty! Expect no mercy from me either for
yourself, or Brat. Rather pray that Death may seize you before you
produce it; Or if it must see the light, that its eyes may immediately
be closed again for ever! No aid shall be given you in your labour;
Bring your Offspring into the world yourself, Feed it yourself, Nurse
it yourself, Bury it yourself: God grant that the latter may happen
soon, lest you receive comfort from the fruit of your iniquity!”
This inhuman speech, the threats which it contained, the dreadful
sufferings foretold to me by the Domina, and her prayers for my
Infant’s death, on whom though unborn I already doated, were more than
my exhausted frame could support. Uttering a deep groan, I fell
senseless at the feet of my unrelenting Enemy. I know not how long I
remained in this situation; But I imagine that some time must have
elapsed before my recovery, since it sufficed the Prioress and her Nuns
to quit the Cavern. When my senses returned, I found myself in silence
and solitude. I heard not even the retiring footsteps of my
Persecutors. All was hushed, and all was dreadful! I had been thrown
upon the bed of Straw: The heavy Chain which I had already eyed with
terror, was wound around my waist, and fastened me to the Wall. A Lamp
glimmering with dull, melancholy rays through my dungeon, permitted my
distinguishing all its horrors: It was separated from the Cavern by a
low and irregular Wall of Stone: A large Chasm was left open in it
which formed the entrance, for door there was none. A leaden Crucifix
was in front of my straw Couch. A tattered rug lay near me, as did also
a Chaplet of Beads; and not far from me stood a pitcher of water, and a
wicker Basket containing a small loaf, and a bottle of oil to supply my
Lamp.
With a despondent eye did I examine this scene of suffering: When I
reflected that I was doomed to pass in it the remainder of my days, my
heart was rent with bitter anguish. I had once been taught to look
forward to a lot so different! At one time my prospects had appeared so
bright, so flattering! Now all was lost to me. Friends, comfort,
society, happiness, in one moment I was deprived of all! Dead to the
world, Dead to pleasure, I lived to nothing but the sense of misery.