The Pirate
"Not on such slight provocation, Jack," replied Cleveland. "Besides, the
lad saved my life; and, say that I requited him the favour, still we
should not have met on such evil terms; but I trust that he may receive
aid from that woman, who has certainly strange skill in simples."
"And over simpletons, Captain," said his friend, "in which class I must
e'en put you down, if you think more on this subject. That you should be
made a fool of by a young woman, why it is many an honest man's
case;--but to puzzle your pate about the mummeries of an old one, is far
too great a folly to indulge a friend in. Talk to me of your Minna,
since you so call her, as much as you will; but you have no title to
trouble your faithful squire-errant with your old mumping magician. And
now here we are once more amongst the booths and tents, which these good
folk are pitching--let us look, and see whether we may not find some fun
and frolic amongst them. In merry England, now, you would have seen, on
such an occasion, two or three bands of strollers, as many fire-eaters
and conjurers, as many shows of wild beasts; but, amongst these grave
folk, there is nothing but what savours of business and of
commodity--no, not so much as a single squall from my merry gossip Punch
and his rib Joan."
As Bunce thus spoke, Cleveland cast his eyes on some very gay clothes,
which, with other articles, hung out upon one of the booths, that had a
good deal more of ornament and exterior decoration than the rest. There
was in front a small sign of canvass painted, announcing the variety of
goods which the owner of the booth, Bryce Snailsfoot, had on sale, and
the reasonable prices at which he proposed to offer them to the public.
For the further gratification of the spectator, the sign bore on the
opposite side an emblematic device, resembling our first parents in
their vegetable garments, with this legend--
"Poor sinners whom the snake deceives,
Are fain to cover them with leaves.
Zetland hath no leaves, 'tis true,
Because that trees are none, or few;
But we have flax and taits of woo',
For linen cloth and wadmaal blue;
And we have many of foreign knacks
Of finer waft, than woo' or flax.
Ye gallanty Lambmas lads,[31] appear,
And bring your Lambmas sisters here;
Bryce Snailsfoot spares not cost or care,
To pleasure every gentle pair."
While Cleveland was perusing these goodly rhymes, which brought to his
mind Claud Halcro, to whom, as the poet laureate of the island, ready
with his talent alike in the service of the great and small, they
probably owed their origin, the worthy proprietor of the booth, having
cast his eye upon him, began with hasty and trembling hand to remove
some of the garments, which, as the sale did not commence till the
ensuing day, he had exposed either for the purpose of airing them, or to
excite the admiration of the spectators.
"By my word, Captain," whispered Bunce to Cleveland, "you must have had
that fellow under your clutches one day, and he remembers one gripe of
your talons, and fears another. See how fast he is packing his wares out
of sight, so soon as he set eyes on you!"
"_His_ wares!" said Cleveland, on looking more attentively at his
proceedings; "By Heaven, they are my clothes which I left in a chest at
Jarlshof when the Revenge was lost there--Why, Bryce Snailsfoot, thou
thief, dog, and villain, what means this? Have you not made enough of us
by cheap buying and dear selling, that you have seized on my trunk and
wearing apparel?"
Bryce Snailsfoot, who probably would otherwise not have been willing to
_see_ his friend the Captain, was now by the vivacity of his attack
obliged to pay attention to him. He first whispered to his little
foot-page, by whom, as we have already noticed, he was usually attended,
"Run to the town-council-house, jarto, and tell the provost and bailies
they maun send some of their officers speedily, for here is like to be
wild wark in the fair."
So having said, and having seconded his commands by a push on the
shoulder of his messenger, which sent him spinning out of the shop as
fast as heels could carry him, Bryce Snailsfoot turned to his old
acquaintance, and, with that amplification of words and exaggeration of
manner, which in Scotland is called "making a phrase," he
ejaculated--"The Lord be gude to us! the worthy Captain Cleveland, that
we were all sae grieved about, returned to relieve our hearts again! Wat
have my cheeks been for you," (here Bryce wiped his eyes,) "and blithe
am I now to see you restored to your sorrowing friends!"
"My sorrowing friends, you rascal!" said Cleveland; "I will give you
better cause for sorrow than ever you had on my account, if you do not
tell me instantly where you stole all my clothes."
"Stole!" ejaculated Bryce, casting up his eyes; "now the Powers be gude
to us!--the poor gentleman has lost his reason in that weary gale of
wind."
"Why, you insolent rascal!" said Cleveland, grasping the cane which he
carried, "do you think to bamboozle me with your impudence? As you would
have a whole head on your shoulders, and your bones in a whole skin, one
minute longer, tell me where the devil you stole my wearing apparel?"
Bryce Snailsfoot ejaculated once more a repetition of the word "Stole!
Now Heaven be gude to us!" but at the same time, conscious that the
Captain was likely to be sudden in execution, cast an anxious look to
the town, to see the loitering aid of the civil power advance to his
rescue.
"I insist on an instant answer," said the Captain, with upraised weapon,
"or else I will beat you to a mummy, and throw out all your frippery
upon the common!"
Meanwhile, Master John Bunce, who considered the whole affair as an
excellent good jest, and not the worse one that it made Cleveland very
angry, seized hold of the Captain's arm, and, without any idea of
ultimately preventing him from executing his threats, interfered just so
much as was necessary to protract a discussion so amusing.
"Nay, let the honest man speak," he said, "messmate; he has as fine a
cozening face as ever stood on a knavish pair of shoulders, and his are
the true flourishes of eloquence, in the course of which men snip the
cloth an inch too short. Now, I wish you to consider that you are both
of a trade,--he measures bales by the yard, and you by the sword,--and
so I will not have him chopped up till he has had a fair chase."
"You are a fool!" said Cleveland, endeavouring to shake his friend
off.--"Let me go! for, by Heaven, I will be foul of him!"
"Hold him fast," said the pedlar, "good dear merry gentleman, hold him
fast!"
"Then say something for yourself," said Bunce; "use your gob-box, man;
patter away, or, by my soul, I will let him loose on you!"
"He says I stole these goods," said Bryce, who now saw himself run so
close, that pleading to the charge became inevitable. "Now, how could I
steal them, when they are mine by fair and lawful purchase?"
"Purchase! you beggarly vagrant!" said Cleveland; "from whom did you
dare to buy my clothes? or who had the impudence to sell them?"
"Just that worthy professor Mrs. Swertha, the housekeeper at Jarlshof,
who acted as your executor," said the pedlar; "and a grieved heart she
had."
"And so she was resolved to make a heavy pocket of it, I suppose," said
the Captain; "but how did she dare to sell the things left in her
charge?"
"Why, she acted all for the best, good woman!" said the pedlar, anxious
to protract the discussion until the arrival of succours; "and, if you
will but hear reason, I am ready to account with you for the chest and
all that it holds."
"Speak out, then, and let us have none of thy damnable evasions," said
Captain Cleveland; "if you show ever so little purpose of being somewhat
honest for once in thy life, I will not beat thee."
"Why, you see, noble Captain," said the pedlar,--and then muttered to
himself, "plague on Pate Paterson's cripple knee, they will be waiting
for him, hirpling useless body!" then resumed aloud--"The country, you
see, is in great perplexity,--great perplexity, indeed,--much
perplexity, truly. There was your honour missing, that was loved by
great and small--clean missing--nowhere to be heard of--a lost
man--umquhile--dead--defunct!"
"You shall find me alive to your cost, you scoundrel!" said the
irritated Captain.
"Weel, but take patience,--ye will not hear a body speak," said the
Jagger.--"Then there was the lad Mordaunt Mertoun"----
"Ha!" said the Captain, "what of him?"
"Cannot be heard of," said the pedlar; "clean and clear tint,--a gone
youth;--fallen, it is thought, from the craig into the sea--he was aye
venturous. I have had dealings with him for furs and feathers, whilk he
swapped against powder and shot, and the like; and now he has worn out
from among us--clean retired--utterly vanished, like the last puff of an
auld wife's tobacco pipe."
"But what is all this to the Captain's clothes, my dear friend?" said
Bunce; "I must presently beat you myself unless you come to the point."
"Weel, weel,--patience, patience," said Bryce, waving his hand; "you
will get all time enough. Weel, there are two folks gane, as I said,
forbye the distress at Burgh-Westra about Mistress Minna's sad
ailment"----
"Bring not _her_ into your buffoonery, sirrah," said Cleveland, in a
tone of anger, not so loud, but far deeper and more concentrated than he
had hitherto used; "for, if you name her with less than reverence, I
will crop the ears out of your head, and make you swallow them on the
spot!"
"He, he, he!" faintly laughed the Jagger; "that were a pleasant jest!
you are pleased to be witty. But, to say naething of Burgh-Westra, there
is the carle at Jarlshof, he that was the auld Mertoun, Mordaunt's
father, whom men thought as fast bound to the place he dwelt in as the
Sumburgh-head itsell, naething maun serve him but he is lost as weel as
the lave about whom I have spoken. And there's Magnus Troil (wi' favour
be he named) taking horse; and there is pleasant Maister Claud Halcro
taking boat, whilk he steers worst of any man in Zetland, his head
running on rambling rhymes; and the Factor body is on the stir--the
Scots Factor,--him that is aye speaking of dikes and delving, and such
unprofitable wark, which has naething of merchandise in it, and he is on
the lang trot, too; so that ye might say, upon a manner, the tae half of
the Mainland of Zetland is lost, and the other is running to and fro
seeking it--awfu' times!"
Captain Cleveland had subdued his passion, and listened to this tirade
of the worthy man of merchandise, with impatience indeed, yet not
without the hope of hearing something that might concern him. But his
companion was now become impatient in his turn:--"The clothes!" he
exclaimed, "the clothes, the clothes, the clothes!" accompanying each
repetition of the words with a flourish of his cane, the dexterity of
which consisted in coming mighty near the Jagger's ears without actually
touching them.
The Jagger, shrinking from each of these demonstrations, continued to
exclaim, "Nay, sir--good sir--worthy sir--for the clothes--I found the
worthy dame in great distress on account of her old maister, and on
account of her young maister, and on account of worthy Captain
Cleveland; and because of the distress of the worthy Fowd's family, and
the trouble of the great Fowd himself,--and because of the Factor, and
in respect of Claud Halcro, and on other accounts and respects. Also we
mingled our sorrows and our tears with a bottle, as the holy text hath
it, and called in the Ranzelman to our council, a worthy man, Niel
Ronaldson by name, who hath a good reputation."
Here another flourish of the cane came so very near that it partly