The Pirate
chilly and embarrassed silence which hung upon the company assembled.
"Thrive!" replied Triptolemus; "they thrive like every thing else in
this country, and that is the backward way."
"Want of care, I suppose?" said Cleveland.
"The contrary, sir, quite and clean the contrary," replied the Factor;
"they died of ower muckle care, like Lucky Christie's chickens.--I asked
to see the skeps, and cunning and joyful did the fallow look who was to
have taken care of them--'Had there been ony body in charge but mysell,'
he said, 'ye might have seen the skeps, or whatever you ca' them; but
there wad hae been as mony solan-geese as flees in them, if it hadna
been for my four quarters; for I watched them so closely, that I saw
them a' creeping out at the little holes one sunny morning, and if I had
not stopped the leak on the instant with a bit clay, the deil a bee, or
flee, or whatever they are, would have been left in the skeps, as ye ca'
them!'--In a word, sir, he had clagged up the hives, as if the puir
things had had the pestilence, and my bees were as dead as if they had
been smeaked--and so ends my hope, _generandi gloria mellis_, as
Virgilius hath it."
"There is an end of your mead, then," replied Cleveland; "but what is
your chance of cider?--How does the orchard thrive?"
"O Captain! this same Solomon of the Orcadian Ophir--I am sure no man
need to send thither to fetch either talents of gold or talents of
sense!--I say, this wise man had watered the young apple-trees, in his
great tenderness, with hot water, and they are perished, root and
branch! But what avails grieving?--And I wish you would tell me,
instead, what is all the din that these good folks are making about
pirates? and what for all these ill-looking men, that are armed like so
mony Highlandmen, assembled in the judgment-chamber?--for I am just come
from the other side of the island, and I have heard nothing distinct
about it.--And, now I look at you yoursell, Captain, I think you have
mair of these foolish pistolets about you than should suffice an honest
man in quiet times?"
"And so I think, too," said the pacific Triton, old Haagen, who had been
an unwilling follower of the daring Montrose; "if you had been in the
Glen of Edderachyllis, when we were sae sair worried by Sir John
Worry"----
"You have forgot the whole matter, neighbour Haagen," said the Factor;
"Sir John Urry was on your side, and was ta'en with Montrose; by the
same token, he lost his head."
"Did he?" said the Triton.--"I believe you may be right; for he changed
sides mair than anes, and wha kens whilk he died for?--But always he was
there, and so was I;--a fight there was, and I never wish to see
another!"
The entrance of the Provost here interrupted their desultory
conversation.--"We have determined," he said, "Captain, that your ship
shall go round to Stromness, or Scalpa-flow, to take in stores, in order
that there may be no more quarrels between the Fair folks and your
seamen. And as you wish to stay on shore to see the Fair, we intend to
send a respectable gentleman on board your vessel to pilot her round the
Mainland, as the navigation is but ticklish."
"Spoken like a quiet and sensible magistrate, Mr. Mayor," said
Cleveland, "and no otherwise than as I expected.--And what gentleman is
to honour our quarter-deck during my absence?"
"We have fixed that, too, Captain Cleveland," said the Provost; "you may
be sure we were each more desirous than another to go upon so pleasant a
voyage, and in such good company; but being Fair time, most of us have
some affairs in hand--I myself, in respect of my office, cannot be well
spared--the eldest Bailie's wife is lying-in--the Treasurer does not
agree with the sea--two Bailies have the gout--the other two are absent
from town--and the other fifteen members of council are all engaged on
particular business."
"All that I can tell you, Mr. Mayor," said Cleveland, raising his voice,
"is, that I expect"----
"A moment's patience, if you please, Captain," said the Provost,
interrupting him--"So that we have come to the resolution that our
worthy Mr. Triptolemus Yellowley, who is Factor to the Lord Chamberlain
of these islands, shall, in respect of his official situation, be
preferred to the honour and pleasure of accompanying you."
"Me!" said the astonished Triptolemus; "what the devil should I do going
on your voyages?--my business is on dry land!"
"The gentlemen want a pilot," said the Provost, whispering to him, "and
there is no eviting to give them one."
"Do they want to go bump on shore, then?" said the Factor--"how the
devil should I pilot them, that never touched rudder in my life?"
"Hush!--hush!--be silent!" said the Provost; "if the people of this town
heard ye say such a word, your utility, and respect, and rank, and every
thing else, is clean gone!--No man is any thing with us island folks,
unless he can hand, reef, and steer.--Besides, it is but a mere form;
and we will send old Pate Sinclair to help you. You will have nothing to
do but to eat, drink, and be merry all day."
"Eat and drink!" said the Factor, not able to comprehend exactly why
this piece of duty was pressed upon him so hastily, and yet not very
capable of resisting or extricating himself from the toils of the more
knowing Provost--"Eat and drink?--that is all very well; but, to speak
truth, the sea does not agree with me any more than with the Treasurer;
and I have always a better appetite for eating and drinking ashore."
"Hush! hush! hush!" again said the Provost, in an under tone of earnest
expostulation; "would you actually ruin your character out and out?--A
Factor of the High Chamberlain of the Isles of Orkney and Zetland, and
not like the sea!--you might as well say you are a Highlander, and do
not like whisky!"
"You must settle it somehow, gentlemen," said Captain Cleveland; "it is
time we were under weigh.--Mr. Triptolemus Yellowley, are we to be
honoured with your company?"
"I am sure, Captain Cleveland," stammered the Factor, "I would have no
objection to go anywhere with you--only"----
"He has no objection," said the Provost, catching at the first limb of
the sentence, without awaiting the conclusion.
"He has no objection," cried the Treasurer.
"He has no objection," sung out the whole four Bailies together;
and the fifteen Councillors, all catching up the same phrase of
assent, repeated it in chorus, with the additions of--"good
man"--"public-spirited"--"honourable gentleman"--"burgh eternally
obliged"--"where will you find such a worthy Factor?" and so forth.
Astonished and confused at the praises with which he was overwhelmed on
all sides, and in no shape understanding the nature of the transaction
that was going forward, the astounded and overwhelmed agriculturist
became incapable of resisting the part of the Kirkwall Curtius thus
insidiously forced upon him, and was delivered up by Captain Cleveland
to his party, with the strictest injunctions to treat him with honour
and attention. Goffe and his companions began now to lead him off, amid
the applauses of the whole meeting, after the manner in which the victim
of ancient days was garlanded and greeted by shouts, when consigned to
the priests, for the purpose of being led to the altar, and knocked on
the head, a sacrifice for the commonweal. It was while they thus
conducted, and in a manner forced him out of the Council-chamber, that
poor Triptolemus, much alarmed at finding that Cleveland, in whom he had
some confidence, was to remain behind the party, tried, when just going
out at the door, the effect of one remonstrating bellow.--"Nay, but,
Provost!--Captain!--Bailies!--Treasurer! Councillors!--if Captain
Cleveland does not go aboard to protect me, it is nae bargain, and go I
will not, unless I am trailed with cart-ropes!"
His protest was, however, drowned in the unanimous chorus of the
Magistrates and Councillors, returning him thanks for his public
spirit--wishing him a good voyage--and praying to Heaven for his happy
and speedy return. Stunned and overwhelmed, and thinking, if he had any
distinct thoughts at all, that remonstrance was vain, where friends and
strangers seemed alike determined to carry the point against him,
Triptolemus, without farther resistance, suffered himself to be
conducted into the street, where the pirate's boat's-crew, assembling
around him, began to move slowly towards the quay, many of the townsfolk
following out of curiosity, but without any attempt at interference or
annoyance; for the pacific compromise which the dexterity of the first
Magistrate had achieved, was unanimously approved of as a much better
settlement of the disputes betwixt them and the strangers, than might
have been attained by the dubious issue of an appeal to arms.
Meanwhile, as they went slowly along, Triptolemus had time to study the
appearance, countenance, and dress, of those into whose hands he had
been thus delivered, and began to imagine that he read in their looks,
not only the general expression of a desperate character, but some
sinister intentions directed particularly towards himself. He was
alarmed by the truculent looks of Goffe, in particular, who, holding his
arm with a gripe which resembled in delicacy of touch the compression of
a smith's vice, cast on him from the outer corner of his eye oblique
glances, like those which the eagle throws upon the prey which she has
clutched, ere yet she proceeds, as it is technically called, to plume
it. At length Yellowley's fears got so far the better of his prudence,
that he fairly asked his terrible conductor, in a sort of crying
whisper, "Are you going to murder me, Captain, in the face of the laws
baith of God and man?"
"Hold your peace, if you are wise," said Goffe, who had his own reasons
for desiring to increase the panic of his captive; "we have not murdered
a man these three months, and why should you put us in mind of it?"
"You are but joking, I hope, good worthy Captain!" replied Triptolemus.
"This is worse than witches, dwarfs, dirking of whales, and cowping of
cobles, put all together!--this is an away-ganging crop, with a
vengeance!--What good, in Heaven's name, would murdering me do to you?"
"We might have some pleasure in it, at least," said Goffe.--"Look these
fellows in the face, and see if you see one among them that would not
rather kill a man than let it alone?--But we will speak more of that
when you have first had a taste of the bilboes--unless, indeed, you come
down with a handsome round handful of Chili boards[37] for your ransom."
"As I shall live by bread, Captain," answered the Factor, "that
misbegotten dwarf has carried off the whole hornful of silver!"
"A cat-and-nine-tails will make you find it again," said Goffe, gruffly;
"flogging and pickling is an excellent receipt to bring a man's wealth
into his mind--twisting a bowstring round his skull till the eyes start
a little, is a very good remembrancer too."
"Captain," replied Yellowley, stoutly, "I have no money--seldom can
improvers have. We turn pasture to tillage, and barley into aits, and
heather into greensward, and the poor _yarpha_, as the benighted
creatures here call their peat-bogs, into baittle grass-land; but we
seldom make any thing of it that comes back to our ain pouch. The carles
and the cart-avers make it all, and the carles and the cart-avers eat it
all, and the deil clink doun with it!"
"Well, well," said Goffe, "if you be really a poor fellow, as you
pretend, I'll stand your friend;" then, inclining his head so as to
reach the ear of the Factor, who stood on tiptoe with anxiety, he said,
"If you love your life, do not enter the boat with us."
"But how am I to get away from you, while you hold me so fast by the