The Small House at Allington
privileges,--and thereby also becoming subject to certain domestic
drawbacks. In Mrs. Dale's little household there had been no rising
to grandeur; but then, also, there had never been any bathos of dirt.
Of this also Crosbie thought as he sat with his tea in his hand.
He soon, however, got himself away. When he rose to go Alexandrina
also rose, and he was permitted to press his nose against her
cheekbone by way of a salute.
"Good-night, Adolphus," said the countess, putting out her hand to
him. "But stop a minute; I know there is something I want you to
do for me. But you will look in as you go to your office to-morrow
morning."
CHAPTER XLI.
DOMESTIC TROUBLES.
When Crosbie was making his ineffectual inquiry after Lady De
Courcy's bracelet at Lambert's, John Eames was in the act of entering
Mrs. Roper's front door in Burton Crescent.
"Oh, John, where's Mr. Cradell?" were the first words which greeted
him, and they were spoken by the divine Amelia. Now, in her usual
practice of life, Amelia did not interest herself much as to the
whereabouts of Mr. Cradell.
"Where's Cradell?" said Eames, repeating the question. "Upon my word,
I don't know. I walked to the office with him, but I haven't seen him
since. We don't sit in the same room, you know."
"John!" and then she stopped.
"What's up now?" said John.
"John! That woman's off and left her husband. As sure as your name's
John Eames, that foolish fellow has gone off with her."
"What, Cradell? I don't believe it."
"She went out of this house at two o'clock in the afternoon, and has
never been back since." That, certainly, was only four hours from
the present time, and such an absence from home in the middle of
the day was but weak evidence on which to charge a married woman
with the great sin of running off with a lover. This Amelia felt,
and therefore she went on to explain. "He's there upstairs in the
drawing-room, the very picture of disconsolateness."
"Who,--Cradell?"
"Lupex is. He's been drinking a little, I'm afraid; but he's very
unhappy, indeed. He had an appointment to meet his wife here at four
o'clock, and when he came he found her gone. He rushed up into their
room, and now he says she has broken open a box he had and taken off
all his money."
"But he never had any money."
"He paid mother some the day before yesterday."
"That's just the reason he shouldn't have any to-day."
"She certainly has taken things she wouldn't have taken if she'd
merely gone out shopping or anything like that, for I've been up in
the room and looked about it. She'd three necklaces. They weren't
much account; but she must have them all on, or else have got them in
her pocket."
"Cradell has never gone off with her in that way. He may be a fool--"
"Oh, he is, you know. I've never seen such a fool about a woman as he
has been."
"But he wouldn't be a party to stealing a lot of trumpery trinkets,
or taking her husband's money. Indeed, I don't think he has anything
to do with it." Then Eames thought over the circumstances of the
day, and remembered that he had certainly not seen Cradell since
the morning. It was that public servant's practice to saunter into
Eames's room in the middle of the day, and there consume bread and
cheese and beer,--in spite of an assertion which Johnny had once made
as to crumbs of biscuit bathed in ink. But on this special day he had
not done so. "I can't think he has been such a fool as that," said
Johnny.
"But he has," said Amelia. "It's dinner-time now, and where is he?
Had he any money left, Johnny?"
So interrogated, Eames disclosed a secret confided to him by his
friend which no other circumstances would have succeeded in dragging
from his breast.
"She borrowed twelve pounds from him about a fortnight since,
immediately after quarter-day. And she owed him money, too, before
that."
"Oh, what a soft!" exclaimed Amelia; "and he hasn't paid mother a
shilling for the last two months!"
"It was his money, perhaps, that Mrs. Roper got from Lupex the day
before yesterday. If so, it comes to the same thing as far as she is
concerned, you know."
"And what are we to do now?" said Amelia, as she went before her
lover upstairs. "Oh, John, what will become of me if ever you serve
me in that way? What should I do if you were to go off with another
lady?"
"Lupex hasn't gone off," said Eames, who hardly knew what to say
when the matter was brought before him with so closely personal a
reference.
"But it's the same thing," said Amelia. "Hearts is divided. Hearts
that have been joined together ought never to be divided; ought
they?" And then she hung upon his arm just as they got to the
drawing-room door.
"Hearts and darts are all my eye," said Johnny. "My belief is that
a man had better never marry at all. How d'you do, Mr. Lupex? Is
anything the matter?"
Mr. Lupex was seated on a chair in the middle of the room, and was
leaning with his head over the back of it. So despondent was he in
his attitude that his head would have fallen off and rolled on to the
floor, had it followed the course which its owner seemed to intend
that it should take. His hands hung down also along the back legs of
the chair, till his fingers almost touched the ground, and altogether
his appearance was pendent, drooping, and wobegone. Miss Spruce
was seated in one corner of the room, with her hands folded in her
lap before her, and Mrs. Roper was standing on the rug with a look
of severe virtue on her brow,--of virtue which, to judge by its
appearance, was very severe. Nor was its severity intended to be
exercised solely against Mrs. Lupex. Mrs. Roper was becoming very
tired of Mr. Lupex also, and would not have been unhappy if he also
had run away,--leaving behind him so much of his property as would
have paid his bill.
Mr. Lupex did not stir when first addressed by John Eames, but a
certain convulsive movement was to be seen on the back of his head,
indicating that this new arrival in the drawing-room had produced
a fresh accession of agony. The chair, too, quivered under him, and
his fingers stretched themselves nearer to the ground and shook
themselves.
"Mr. Lupex, we're going to dinner immediately," said Mrs. Roper. "Mr.
Eames, where is your friend, Mr. Cradell?"
"Upon my word I don't know," said Eames.
"But I know," said Lupex, jumping up and standing at his full height,
while he knocked down the chair which had lately supported him. "The
traitor to domestic bliss! I know. And wherever he is, he has that
false woman in his arms. Would he were here!" And as he expressed
the last wish he went through a motion with his hands and arms which
seemed intended to signify that if that unfortunate young man were in
the company he would pull him in pieces and double him up, and pack
him close, and then despatch his remains off, through infinite space,
to the Prince of Darkness. "Traitor," he exclaimed, as he finished
the process. "False traitor! Foul traitor! And she too!" Then, as he
thought of this softer side of the subject, he prepared himself to
relapse again on to the chair. Finding it on the ground he had to
pick it up. He did pick it up, and once more flung away his head over
the back of it, and stretched his finger-nails almost down to the
carpet.
"James," said Mrs. Roper to her son, who was now in the room, "I
think you'd better stay with Mr. Lupex while we are at dinner. Come,
Miss Spruce, I'm very sorry that you should be annoyed by this kind
of thing."
"It don't hurt me," said Miss Spruce, preparing to leave the room.
"I'm only an old woman."
"Annoyed!" said Lupex, raising himself again from his chair, not
perhaps altogether disposed to remain upstairs while the dinner, for
which it was intended that he should some day pay, was being eaten
below. "Annoyed! It is a profound sorrow to me that any lady should
be annoyed by my misfortunes. As regards Miss Spruce, I look upon her
character with profound veneration."
"You needn't mind me; I'm only an old woman," said Miss Spruce.
"But, by heavens, I do mind!" exclaimed Lupex; and hurrying forward
he seized Miss Spruce by the hand. "I shall always regard age as
entitled--" But the special privileges which Mr. Lupex would have
accorded to age were never made known to the inhabitants of Mrs.
Roper's boarding-house, for the door of the room was again opened at
this moment, and Mr. Cradell entered.
"Here you are, old fellow, to answer for yourself," said Eames.
Cradell, who had heard something as he came in at the front door,
but had not heard that Lupex was in the drawing-room, made a slight
start backwards when he saw that gentleman's face. "Upon my word and
honour," he began;--but he was able to carry his speech no further.
Lupex, dropping the hand of the elderly lady whom he reverenced, was
upon him in an instant, and Cradell was shaking beneath his grasp
like an aspen leaf,--or rather not like an aspen leaf, unless an
aspen leaf when shaken is to be seen with its eyes shut, its mouth
open, and its tongue hanging out.
"Come, I say," said Eames, stepping forward to his friend's
assistance; "this won't do at all, Mr. Lupex. You've been drinking.
You'd better wait till to-morrow morning, and speak to Cradell then."
"To-morrow morning, viper," shouted Lupex, still holding his prey,
but looking back at Eames over his shoulder. Who the viper was had
not been clearly indicated. "When will he restore to me my wife? When
will he restore to me my honour?"
"Upon-on-on-on my--" It was for the moment in vain that poor Mr.
Cradell endeavoured to asseverate his innocence, and to stake his
honour upon his own purity as regarded Mrs. Lupex. Lupex still held
to his enemy's cravat, though Eames had now got him by the arm, and
so far impeded his movements as to hinder him from proceeding to any
graver attack.
"Jemima, Jemima, Jemima!" shouted Mrs. Roper. "Run for the police;
run for the police!" But Amelia, who had more presence of mind than
her mother, stopped Jemima as she was making to one of the front
windows. "Keep where you are," said Amelia. "They'll come quiet in a
minute or two." And Amelia no doubt was right. Calling for the police
when there is a row in the house is like summoning the water-engines
when the soot is on fire in the kitchen chimney. In such cases good
management will allow the soot to burn itself out, without aid from
the water-engines. In the present instance the police were not called
in, and I am inclined to think that their presence would not have
been advantageous to any of the party.
"Upon-my-honour--I know nothing about her," were the first words
which Cradell was able to articulate, when Lupex, under Eames's
persuasion, at last relaxed his hold.
Lupex turned round to Miss Spruce with a sardonic grin. "You hear his
words,--this enemy to domestic bliss,--Ha, ha! man, tell me whither
you have conveyed my wife!"
"If you were to give me the Bank of England I don't know," said
Cradell.
"And I'm sure he does not know," said Mrs. Roper, whose suspicions
against Cradell were beginning to subside. But as her suspicions
subsided, her respect for him decreased. Such was the case also with
Miss Spruce, and with Amelia, and with Jemima. They had all thought
him to be a great fool for running away with Mrs. Lupex, but now
they were beginning to think him a poor creature because he had not
done so. Had he committed that active folly he would have been an
interesting fool. But now, if, as they all suspected, he knew no
more about Mrs. Lupex than they did, he would be a fool without any
special interest whatever.
"Of course he doesn't," said Eames.
"No more than I do," said Amelia.
"His very looks show him innocent," said Mrs. Roper.
"Indeed they do," said Miss Spruce.