The Sorrows of Young Werther
and grace, as if she were conscious of nothing else, and had no
other thought or feeling; and, doubtless, for the moment, every other
sensation is extinct.
She was engaged for the second country dance, but promised me the third,
and assured me, with the most agreeable freedom, that she was very
fond of waltzing. "It is the custom here," she said, "for the previous
partners to waltz together; but my partner is an indifferent waltzer,
and will feel delighted if I save him the trouble. Your partner is not
allowed to waltz, and, indeed, is equally incapable: but I observed
during the country dance that you waltz well; so, if you will waltz with
me, I beg you would propose it to my partner, and I will propose it to
yours." We agreed, and it was arranged that our partners should mutually
entertain each other.
We set off, and, at first, delighted ourselves with the usual graceful
motions of the arms. With what grace, with what ease, she moved! When
the waltz commenced, and the dancers whirled around each other in the
giddy maze, there was some confusion, owing to the incapacity of some of
the dancers. We judiciously remained still, allowing the others to weary
themselves; and, when the awkward dancers had withdrawn, we joined in,
and kept it up famously together with one other couple,—Andran and his
partner. Never did I dance more lightly. I felt myself more than mortal,
holding this loveliest of creatures in my arms, flying, with her as
rapidly as the wind, till I lost sight of every other object; and O
Wilhelm, I vowed at that moment, that a maiden whom I loved, or for whom
I felt the slightest attachment, never, never should waltz with any one
else but with me, if I went to perdition for it!—you will understand
this.
We took a few turns in the room to recover our breath. Charlotte sat
down, and felt refreshed by partaking of some oranges which I had had
secured,—the only ones that had been left; but at every slice which,
from politeness, she offered to her neighbours, I felt as though a
dagger went through my heart.
We were the second couple in the third country dance. As we were going
down (and Heaven knows with what ecstasy I gazed at her arms and eyes,
beaming with the sweetest feeling of pure and genuine enjoyment),
we passed a lady whom I had noticed for her charming expression of
countenance; although she was no longer young. She looked at Charlotte
with a smile, then, holding up her finger in a threatening attitude,
repeated twice in a very significant tone of voice the name of "Albert."
"Who is Albert," said I to Charlotte, "if it is not impertinent to ask?"
She was about to answer, when we were obliged to separate, in order to
execute a figure in the dance; and, as we crossed over again in front of
each other, I perceived she looked somewhat pensive. "Why need I conceal
it from you?" she said, as she gave me her hand for the promenade.
"Albert is a worthy man, to whom I am engaged." Now, there was nothing
new to me in this (for the girls had told me of it on the way); but it
was so far new that I had not thought of it in connection with her whom,
in so short a time, I had learned to prize so highly. Enough, I became
confused, got out in the figure, and occasioned general confusion; so
that it required all Charlotte's presence of mind to set me right by
pulling and pushing me into my proper place.
The dance was not yet finished when the lightning which had for some
time been seen in the horizon, and which I had asserted to proceed
entirely from heat, grew more violent; and the thunder was heard above
the music. When any distress or terror surprises us in the midst of our
amusements, it naturally makes a deeper impression than at other times,
either because the contrast makes us more keenly susceptible, or rather
perhaps because our senses are then more open to impressions, and the
shock is consequently stronger. To this cause I must ascribe the fright
and shrieks of the ladies. One sagaciously sat down in a corner with
her back to the window, and held her fingers to her ears; a second knelt
down before her, and hid her face in her lap; a third threw herself
between them, and embraced her sister with a thousand tears; some
insisted on going home; others, unconscious of their actions, wanted
sufficient presence of mind to repress the impertinence of their young
partners, who sought to direct to themselves those sighs which the lips
of our agitated beauties intended for heaven. Some of the gentlemen had
gone down-stairs to smoke a quiet cigar, and the rest of the company
gladly embraced a happy suggestion of the hostess to retire into another
room which was provided with shutters and curtains. We had hardly got
there, when Charlotte placed the chairs in a circle; and, when the
company had sat down in compliance with her request, she forthwith
proposed a round game.
I noticed some of the company prepare their mouths and draw themselves
up at the prospect of some agreeable forfeit. "Let us play at counting,"
said Charlotte. "Now, pay attention: I shall go round the circle from
right to left; and each person is to count, one after the other, the
number that comes to him, and must count fast; whoever stops or
mistakes is to have a box on the ear, and so on, till we have counted a
thousand." It was delightful to see the fun. She went round the circle
with upraised arm. "One," said the first; "two," the second; "three,"
the third; and so on, till Charlotte went faster and faster. One made a
mistake, instantly a box on the ear; and, amid the laughter that ensued,
came another box; and so on, faster and faster. I myself came in for
two. I fancied they were harder than the rest, and felt quite delighted.
A general laughter and confusion put an end to the game long before
we had counted as far as a thousand. The party broke up into little
separate knots: the storm had ceased, and I followed Charlotte into the
ballroom. On the way she said, "The game banished their fears of the
storm." I could make no reply. "I myself," she continued, "was as much
frightened as any of them; but by affecting courage, to keep up the
spirits of the others, I forgot my apprehensions." We went to the
window. It was still thundering at a distance: a soft rain was pouring
down over the country, and filled the air around us with delicious
odours. Charlotte leaned forward on her arm; her eyes wandered over the
scene; she raised them to the sky, and then turned them upon me;
they were moistened with tears; she placed her hand on mine and said,
"Klopstock!" at once I remembered the magnificent ode which was in her
thoughts: I felt oppressed with the weight of my sensations, and sank
under them. It was more than I could bear. I bent over her hand, kissed
it in a stream of delicious tears, and again looked up to her eyes.
Divine Klopstock! why didst thou not see thy apotheosis in those eyes?
And thy name so often profaned, would that I never heard it repeated!
JUNE 19.
I no longer remember where I stopped in my narrative: I only know it was
two in the morning when I went to bed; and if you had been with me,
that I might have talked instead of writing to you, I should, in all
probability, have kept you up till daylight.
I think I have not yet related what happened as we rode home from
the ball, nor have I time to tell you now. It was a most magnificent
sunrise: the whole country was refreshed, and the rain fell drop by
drop from the trees in the forest. Our companions were asleep. Charlotte
asked me if I did not wish to sleep also, and begged of me not to make
any ceremony on her account. Looking steadfastly at her, I answered, "As
long as I see those eyes open, there is no fear of my falling asleep."
We both continued awake till we reached her door. The maid opened it
softly, and assured her, in answer to her inquiries, that her father and
the children were well, and still sleeping. I left her asking permission
to visit her in the course of the day. She consented, and I went, and,
since that time, sun, moon, and stars may pursue their course: I know
not whether it is day or night; the whole world is nothing to me.
JUNE 21.
My days are as happy as those reserved by God for his elect; and,
whatever be my fate hereafter, I can never say that I have not tasted
joy,—the purest joy of life. You know Walheim. I am now completely
settled there. In that spot I am only half a league from Charlotte; and
there I enjoy myself, and taste all the pleasure which can fall to the
lot of man.
Little did I imagine, when I selected Walheim for my pedestrian
excursions, that all heaven lay so near it. How often in my wanderings
from the hillside or from the meadows across the river, have I beheld
this hunting-lodge, which now contains within it all the joy of my
heart!
I have often, my dear Wilhelm, reflected on the eagerness men feel to
wander and make new discoveries, and upon that secret impulse which
afterward inclines them to return to their narrow circle, conform to
the laws of custom, and embarrass themselves no longer with what passes
around them.
It is so strange how, when I came here first, and gazed upon that
lovely valley from the hillside, I felt charmed with the entire scene
surrounding me. The little wood opposite—how delightful to sit under
its shade! How fine the view from that point of rock! Then, that
delightful chain of hills, and the exquisite valleys at their feet!
Could I but wander and lose myself amongst them! I went, and returned
without finding what I wished. Distance, my friend, is like futurity. A
dim vastness is spread before our souls: the perceptions of our mind are
as obscure as those of our vision; and we desire earnestly to surrender
up our whole being, that it may be filled with the complete and perfect
bliss of one glorious emotion. But alas! when we have attained our
object, when the distant there becomes the present here, all is changed:
we are as poor and circumscribed as ever, and our souls still languish
for unattainable happiness.
So does the restless traveller pant for his native soil, and find in his
own cottage, in the arms of his wife, in the affections of his children,
and in the labour necessary for their support, that happiness which he
had sought in vain through the wide world.
When, in the morning at sunrise, I go out to Walheim, and with my own
hands gather in the garden the pease which are to serve for my dinner,
when I sit down to shell them, and read my Homer during the intervals,
and then, selecting a saucepan from the kitchen, fetch my own butter,
put my mess on the fire, cover it up, and sit down to stir it as
occasion requires, I figure to myself the illustrious suitors of
Penelope, killing, dressing, and preparing their own oxen and swine.
Nothing fills me with a more pure and genuine sense of happiness than
those traits of patriarchal life which, thank Heaven! I can imitate
without affectation. Happy is it, indeed, for me that my heart is
capable of feeling the same simple and innocent pleasure as the peasant
whose table is covered with food of his own rearing, and who not only
enjoys his meal, but remembers with delight the happy days and sunny
mornings when he planted it, the soft evenings when he watered it, and
the pleasure he experienced in watching its daily growth.
JUNE 29.
The day before yesterday, the physician came from the town to pay a
visit to the judge. He found me on the floor playing with Charlotte's
children. Some of them were scrambling over me, and others romped with
me; and, as I caught and tickled them, they made a great noise. The
doctor is a formal sort of personage: he adjusts the plaits of his
ruffles, and continually settles his frill whilst he is talking to you;