The Vision of Desire
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THE VISION OF DESIRE
BY MARGARET PEDLER
AUTHOR OF
THE HERMIT OF FAR END,
THE MOON OUT OF REACH, ETC.
_"Heaven but the Vision of fulfill'd Desire
And Hell the Shadow from a Soul on Fire."_
--THE RUBAIYAT OF OMAR KHAYYAM
TO BUNTY
(F. MABEL WARHURST)
WITH MY LOVE
CONTENTS
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER
I ANN'S LEGACY
II THE BRABAZONS OF LORNE
III ON THE TOP OF THE WORLD
IV RATS IN A TRAP
V THE VISITORS' BOOK
VI THE MAN WITH THE SCAR
VII A QUESTION OF ILLUSIONS
VIII A LETTER FROM ENGLAND
IX OLDSTONE COTTAGE
X A DISCOVERY
XI THE LADY FROM THE PRIORY
XII A NEW ACQUAINTANCE
XIII "FRIENDSHIP IMPLIES TRUST"
XIV THE ETERNAL TRIANGLE
XV ANCIENT HISTORY
XVI DREAM-FLOWERS
XVII A SPRIG OF HELIOTROPE
XVIII A BATTLE OF WILLS
XIX ACCOUNT RENDERED
XX REFUSAL
XXI THE RETURN
XXII WILD OATS
XXIII THE TEETH OF THE WOLF
XXIV AFTERMATH
XXV THE HALF-TRUTH
XXVI ENLIGHTENMENT
XXVII THE TRUTH
XXVIII THE GREY SHADOW
XXIX A PATCH OF SUNLIGHT
XXX THE KEEPING OF A PROMISE
XXXI A BARGAIN
XXXII ON BOARD THE "SPHINX"
XXXIII THE VISION FULFILLED
DREAM-FLOWERS
"Beyond the hill there's a garden,
Fashioned of sweetest flowers,
Calling to you with its voice of gold,
Telling you all that your heart may hold.
Beyond the hill there's a garden fair--
My garden of happy hours.
"Dream-flowers grow in that garden,
Blossom of sun and showers,
There, withered hopes may bloom anew,
Dreams long forgotten shall come true.
Beyond the hill there's a garden fair--
My garden of happy hours!"
MARGARET PEDLER.
NOTE:--Musical setting by Margaret Pedler. Published by Edward Schuberth &
Co., 11 East 22nd Street, New York.
THE VISION OF DESIRE
PROLOGUE
_"... It's no use pretending any longer. I can't marry you, I don't suppose
you will ever understand or forgive me. No man would. But try to believe
that I haven't come to this decision hurriedly or without thinking. I seem
to have done nothing but think, lately!_
_"I want you to forget last night, Eliot. We were both a little mad, and
there was moonlight and the scent of roses.... But it's good-bye, all the
same--it must be. Please don't try to see, me again. It could do no good
and would only hurt us both."_
Very deliberately the man read this letter through a second time. At first
reading it had seemed to him incredible, a hallucination. It gave him a
queer feeling of unreality--it was all so impossible, so wildly improbable!
_"I want you to forget last night."_ Last night! When the woman who had
written those cool words of dismissal had lain in his arms, exquisite in
her passionate surrender. His mouth set itself grimly. Whatever came next,
whatever the future might hold, he knew that neither of them would be able
to forget. There are some things that cannot be forgotten, and the moment
when a man and woman first give their love utterance in words is one of
them.
He crushed the note slowly in his hand till it was nothing more than a
crumpled ball of paper, and raised his arm to fling it away. Then suddenly
his lips relaxed in a smile and a light of relief sprang into his eyes. It
was all nonsense, of course--just some foolish, woman's whim or fancy, some
ridiculous idea she had got into her head which five minutes' talk between
them would dispel. He had been a fool to take it seriously. He unclenched
his hand and smoothed out the crumpled sheet of paper. Tearing it into very
small pieces, he tossed them into the garden below the veranda where he was
sitting and watched them circle to the ground like particles of fine white
snow.
As they settled his face cleared. The tension induced by the perusal of
the letter had momentarily aged it, affording a fleeting glimpse of the
man as he might be ten years hence if things should chance to go awry with
him--hard and relentless, with more than a suggestion of cruelty. But now,
the strain lessened, his face revealed that charm of boyishness which is
always curiously attractive in a man who has actually left his boyhood
behind him. The mouth above the strong, clean-cut chin was singularly
sweet, the grey eyes, alight and ardent, meeting the world with a friendly
gaiety of expression that seemed to expect and ask for friendliness in
return.
As the last scrap of paper drifted to earth he stretched out his arms,
drawing a great breath of relief. His tea, brought to him at the same time
as the letter he had just destroyed, still stood untasted on a rustic table
beside him. He poured some out and drank it thirstily; his mouth felt dry.
Then, setting down the cup, he descended from the veranda and made his way
quickly through the hotel garden to the dusty white road beyond its gates.
It was very hot. The afternoon sun still flamed in the vividly blue Italian
sky, and against the shimmer of azure and gold the tall, dark poplars
ranked beside the road struck a sombre note of relief. But the man himself
seemed unconscious of the heat. He covered the ground with the lithe,
long-limbed stride of youth and supple muscles, and presently swung aside
into a garden where, betwixt the spread arms of chestnut and linden and
almond tree, gleamed the pink-stuccoed walls of a half-hidden villa.
Skirting the villa, he went on unhesitatingly, as one to whom the way
was very familiar, following a straight, formal path which led between
parterres of flowers, ablaze with colour. Then, through an archway dripping
jessamine, he emerged into a small, enclosed garden--an inner sanctuary
of flower-encircled greensward, fragrant with the scent of mignonette and
roses, while the headier perfume of heliotrope and oleander hung like
incense on the sun-warmed air.
A fountain plashed in the centre of the velvet lawn, an iridescent mist of
spray upflung from its marble basin, and at the farther end a stone bench
stood sheltered beneath the leafy shade of a tree.
A woman was sitting on the bench. She was quite young--not more than twenty
at the outside--and there was something in the dark, slender beauty of her
which seemed to harmonise with the southern scents and colour of the old
Italian garden. She sat very still, her round white chin cupped in her
palm. Her eyes were downcast, the lowered lids, with their lashes lying
like dusky fans against the ivory-tinted skin beneath, screening her
thoughts.
The man's footsteps made no sound as he crossed the close-cut turf, and
he paused a moment to gaze at her with ardent eyes. The loveliness of her
seemed to take him by the throat, so that a half-stifled sound escaped him.
Came an answering sound--a sharp-caught breath of fear as she realised an
intruder's presence in her solitude. Then, her eyes meeting the eager,
worshipping ones fixed on her, she uttered a cry of dismay.
"You?--You?" she stammered, rising hastily.
In a stride he was beside her.
"Yes. Didn't you expect me? You must have known I should come."
He laughed down at her triumphantly and made as though to take her in his
arms, but she shrank back, pressing him away from her with urgent hands.
"I told you not to come. I told you not to come," she reiterated. "Oh!"
turning aside with nervous desperation, "why didn't you stay away?"
He stared at her.
"Why didn't I? Do you suppose any man on earth would have stayed away after
receiving such a letter? Why did you write it?"--rapidly. "What did you
mean?"
She looked away from him towards the distant mountains rimming the horizon.
"I meant just what I said. I can't marry you," she answered mechanically.
"But that's absurd! You've known I cared--you've cared, too--all these
weeks. And last night you promised--you said--"
"Last night!" She swung round and faced him. "I tell you we've got to
_forget_ last night--count it out. It--it was just an interlude--"
She broke off, blenching at the abrupt change in his expression. Up till
now his face had been full of an incredulous, boyish bewilderment, half
tender, half chiding. Within himself he had refused to believe that there
was any serious intent behind her letter. It was fruit of some foolish
misunderstanding or shy feminine withdrawal, and he was here to straighten
it all out, to reassure her. But that word "interlude"! Had she been
deliberately playing with him after all? Women did such things--sometimes.
His features took on a sudden sternness.
"An interlude?" he repeated quietly. "I'm afraid I don't understand. Will
you explain?"
Her shoulders moved resentfully.
"Why do you want to force me into explanations?" she burst out.
"Surely--_surely_ you understand? We can't marry--we haven't money enough!"
There was a long pause before he spoke again.
"I've enough money to marry on, if it comes to that," he said at last,
slowly. "Though we should certainly be comparatively poor. What you mean
is that I'm not rich enough to satisfy you, I suppose?"
She nodded.
"Yes. I'm sick--_sick_ of being poor! I've been poor all my life--always
having to skimp and save and do things on the cheap--go without this and
make shift with that. I'm tired of it! This last two months with Aunt
Elvira--all this luxury and beauty," she gestured eloquently towards the
villa standing like a gem in its exquisite Italian setting, "the car, the
perfect service, as many frocks as I want--Oh! I've loved it all! And I
can't give it up. I can't go back to being poor again!"
She paused, breathless, and her eyes, passionately upbraiding, beseeching
understanding, sought his face.
"Don't you understand?" she added, twisting her hands together.
His eyes glinted.
"Yes, I'm beginning to," he returned briefly. "But how are you going to
compass what you want--as a permanency? Your visit to Lady Templeton can't
extend indefinitely."
She was silent, evading his glance. Her foot beat nervously on the flagged
path where they stood.
"Is there some one else?" he asked incisively. "Another man--who can give
you all these things?"
A dull, shamed red flushed her cheek. With an effort she forced herself to
answer him.
"Yes," she said very low. "There is--some one else."
"I wonder if he realises his luck!"
The palpable sneer in his voice cut like a lash. She winced under it.
"One more question--I'd like to know the answer out of sheer curiosity."
His voice was clear and hard--like ice, "You knew you were going to do this
to me--last night?"
Her lips moved but no words came. She gestured mutely--imploringly.
"Answer me, please."
His implacable insistence whipped her into a sudden flare of defiance. She
was like a cornered animal.
"Yes, then, if you must have it--I _did_ know!" she flung at him in a low
tone of furious anger.
Involuntarily he stepped back from her a pace, like a man suddenly smitten
and stunned.
"While for me last night was sacred!" he muttered under his breath.
Before the utter scorn and repugnance in the low-breathed words her
defiance crumbled to pieces.
"And for me, too! Eliot, I wasn't pretending. I _do_ love you. I
never meant you to know, but last night--I couldn't help it. I'd
promised to marry the--the other man, and then you came, and we were
alone--and--Oh!"--desperately, lifting a wrung face to his. "Why won't
you understand?"
But the beautiful, imploring face failed to move him one jot. Something
had died suddenly within him--the something that was young and eager and
blindly trusting. When she ceased speaking he was only conscious that he
wanted to take her and break her between his two hands--destroy her as
he had destroyed the letter she had written. The blood was drumming in