The Voyage Out
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The Voyage Out
by Virginia Woolf
Contents
CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV.
CHAPTER V.
CHAPTER VI.
CHAPTER VII.
CHAPTER VIII.
CHAPTER IX.
CHAPTER X.
CHAPTER XI.
CHAPTER XII.
CHAPTER XIII.
CHAPTER XIV.
CHAPTER XV.
CHAPTER XVI.
CHAPTER XVII.
CHAPTER XVIII.
CHAPTER XIX.
CHAPTER XX.
CHAPTER XXI.
CHAPTER XXII.
CHAPTER XXIII.
CHAPTER XXIV.
CHAPTER XXV.
CHAPTER XXVI.
CHAPTER XXVII.
CHAPTER I
As the streets that lead from the Strand to the Embankment are very
narrow, it is better not to walk down them arm-in-arm. If you persist,
lawyers’ clerks will have to make flying leaps into the mud; young lady
typists will have to fidget behind you. In the streets of London where
beauty goes unregarded, eccentricity must pay the penalty, and it is
better not to be very tall, to wear a long blue cloak, or to beat the
air with your left hand.
One afternoon in the beginning of October when the traffic was becoming
brisk a tall man strode along the edge of the pavement with a lady on
his arm. Angry glances struck upon their backs. The small, agitated
figures—for in comparison with this couple most people looked
small—decorated with fountain pens, and burdened with despatch-boxes,
had appointments to keep, and drew a weekly salary, so that there was
some reason for the unfriendly stare which was bestowed upon Mr.
Ambrose’s height and upon Mrs. Ambrose’s cloak. But some enchantment
had put both man and woman beyond the reach of malice and unpopularity.
In his case one might guess from the moving lips that it was thought;
and in hers from the eyes fixed stonily straight in front of her at a
level above the eyes of most that it was sorrow. It was only by
scorning all she met that she kept herself from tears, and the friction
of people brushing past her was evidently painful. After watching the
traffic on the Embankment for a minute or two with a stoical gaze she
twitched her husband’s sleeve, and they crossed between the swift
discharge of motor cars. When they were safe on the further side, she
gently withdrew her arm from his, allowing her mouth at the same time
to relax, to tremble; then tears rolled down, and leaning her elbows on
the balustrade, she shielded her face from the curious. Mr. Ambrose
attempted consolation; he patted her shoulder; but she showed no signs
of admitting him, and feeling it awkward to stand beside a grief that
was greater than his, he crossed his arms behind him, and took a turn
along the pavement.
The embankment juts out in angles here and there, like pulpits; instead
of preachers, however, small boys occupy them, dangling string,
dropping pebbles, or launching wads of paper for a cruise. With their
sharp eye for eccentricity, they were inclined to think Mr. Ambrose
awful; but the quickest witted cried “Bluebeard!” as he passed. In case
they should proceed to tease his wife, Mr. Ambrose flourished his stick
at them, upon which they decided that he was grotesque merely, and four
instead of one cried “Bluebeard!” in chorus.
Although Mrs. Ambrose stood quite still, much longer than is natural,
the little boys let her be. Some one is always looking into the river
near Waterloo Bridge; a couple will stand there talking for half an
hour on a fine afternoon; most people, walking for pleasure,
contemplate for three minutes; when, having compared the occasion with
other occasions, or made some sentence, they pass on. Sometimes the
flats and churches and hotels of Westminster are like the outlines of
Constantinople in a mist; sometimes the river is an opulent purple,
sometimes mud-coloured, sometimes sparkling blue like the sea. It is
always worth while to look down and see what is happening. But this
lady looked neither up nor down; the only thing she had seen, since she
stood there, was a circular iridescent patch slowly floating past with
a straw in the middle of it. The straw and the patch swam again and
again behind the tremulous medium of a great welling tear, and the tear
rose and fell and dropped into the river. Then there struck close upon
her ears—
Lars Porsena of Clusium
By the nine Gods he swore—
and then more faintly, as if the speaker had passed her on his walk—
That the Great House of Tarquin
Should suffer wrong no more.
Yes, she knew she must go back to all that, but at present she must
weep. Screening her face she sobbed more steadily than she had yet
done, her shoulders rising and falling with great regularity. It was
this figure that her husband saw when, having reached the polished
Sphinx, having entangled himself with a man selling picture postcards,
he turned; the stanza instantly stopped. He came up to her, laid his
hand on her shoulder, and said, “Dearest.” His voice was supplicating.
But she shut her face away from him, as much as to say, “You can’t
possibly understand.”
As he did not leave her, however, she had to wipe her eyes, and to
raise them to the level of the factory chimneys on the other bank. She
saw also the arches of Waterloo Bridge and the carts moving across
them, like the line of animals in a shooting gallery. They were seen
blankly, but to see anything was of course to end her weeping and begin
to walk.
“I would rather walk,” she said, her husband having hailed a cab
already occupied by two city men.
The fixity of her mood was broken by the action of walking. The
shooting motor cars, more like spiders in the moon than terrestrial
objects, the thundering drays, the jingling hansoms, and little black
broughams, made her think of the world she lived in. Somewhere up there
above the pinnacles where the smoke rose in a pointed hill, her
children were now asking for her, and getting a soothing reply. As for
the mass of streets, squares, and public buildings which parted them,
she only felt at this moment how little London had done to make her
love it, although thirty of her forty years had been spent in a street.
She knew how to read the people who were passing her; there were the
rich who were running to and from each others’ houses at this hour;
there were the bigoted workers driving in a straight line to their
offices; there were the poor who were unhappy and rightly malignant.
Already, though there was sunlight in the haze, tattered old men and
women were nodding off to sleep upon the seats. When one gave up seeing
the beauty that clothed things, this was the skeleton beneath.
A fine rain now made her still more dismal; vans with the odd names of
those engaged in odd industries—Sprules, Manufacturer of Saw-dust;
Grabb, to whom no piece of waste paper comes amiss—fell flat as a bad
joke; bold lovers, sheltered behind one cloak, seemed to her sordid,
past their passion; the flower women, a contented company, whose talk
is always worth hearing, were sodden hags; the red, yellow, and blue
flowers, whose heads were pressed together, would not blaze. Moreover,
her husband walking with a quick rhythmic stride, jerking his free hand
occasionally, was either a Viking or a stricken Nelson; the sea-gulls
had changed his note.
“Ridley, shall we drive? Shall we drive, Ridley?”
Mrs. Ambrose had to speak sharply; by this time he was far away.
The cab, by trotting steadily along the same road, soon withdrew them
from the West End, and plunged them into London. It appeared that this
was a great manufacturing place, where the people were engaged in
making things, as though the West End, with its electric lamps, its
vast plate-glass windows all shining yellow, its carefully-finished
houses, and tiny live figures trotting on the pavement, or bowled along
on wheels in the road, was the finished work. It appeared to her a very
small bit of work for such an enormous factory to have made. For some
reason it appeared to her as a small golden tassel on the edge of a
vast black cloak.
Observing that they passed no other hansom cab, but only vans and
waggons, and that not one of the thousand men and women she saw was
either a gentleman or a lady, Mrs. Ambrose understood that after all it
is the ordinary thing to be poor, and that London is the city of
innumerable poor people. Startled by this discovery and seeing herself
pacing a circle all the days of her life round Picadilly Circus she was
greatly relieved to pass a building put up by the London County Council
for Night Schools.
“Lord, how gloomy it is!” her husband groaned. “Poor creatures!”
What with the misery for her children, the poor, and the rain, her mind
was like a wound exposed to dry in the air.
At this point the cab stopped, for it was in danger of being crushed
like an egg-shell. The wide Embankment which had had room for
cannonballs and squadrons, had now shrunk to a cobbled lane steaming
with smells of malt and oil and blocked by waggons. While her husband
read the placards pasted on the brick announcing the hours at which
certain ships would sail for Scotland, Mrs. Ambrose did her best to
find information. From a world exclusively occupied in feeding waggons
with sacks, half obliterated too in a fine yellow fog, they got neither
help nor attention. It seemed a miracle when an old man approached,
guessed their condition, and proposed to row them out to their ship in
the little boat which he kept moored at the bottom of a flight of
steps. With some hesitation they trusted themselves to him, took their
places, and were soon waving up and down upon the water, London having
shrunk to two lines of buildings on either side of them, square
buildings and oblong buildings placed in rows like a child’s avenue of
bricks.
The river, which had a certain amount of troubled yellow light in it,
ran with great force; bulky barges floated down swiftly escorted by
tugs; police boats shot past everything; the wind went with the
current. The open rowing-boat in which they sat bobbed and curtseyed
across the line of traffic. In mid-stream the old man stayed his hands
upon the oars, and as the water rushed past them, remarked that once he
had taken many passengers across, where now he took scarcely any. He
seemed to recall an age when his boat, moored among rushes, carried
delicate feet across to lawns at Rotherhithe.
“They want bridges now,” he said, indicating the monstrous outline of
the Tower Bridge. Mournfully Helen regarded him, who was putting water
between her and her children. Mournfully she gazed at the ship they
were approaching; anchored in the middle of the stream they could dimly
read her name—_Euphrosyne_.
Very dimly in the falling dusk they could see the lines of the rigging,
the masts and the dark flag which the breeze blew out squarely behind.
As the little boat sidled up to the steamer, and the old man shipped
his oars, he remarked once more pointing above, that ships all the
world over flew that flag the day they sailed. In the minds of both the
passengers the blue flag appeared a sinister token, and this the moment
for presentiments, but nevertheless they rose, gathered their things
together, and climbed on deck.
Down in the saloon of her father’s ship, Miss Rachel Vinrace, aged
twenty-four, stood waiting her uncle and aunt nervously. To begin with,
though nearly related, she scarcely remembered them; to go on with,
they were elderly people, and finally, as her father’s daughter she
must be in some sort prepared to entertain them. She looked forward to
seeing them as civilised people generally look forward to the first
sight of civilised people, as though they were of the nature of an
approaching physical discomfort—a tight shoe or a draughty window. She
was already unnaturally braced to receive them. As she occupied herself
in laying forks severely straight by the side of knives, she heard a
man’s voice saying gloomily: