The weird of the wanderer Being the papyrus records of some incidents in one of the previous lives of Mr. Nicholas Crabbe
but I dare not stop until my lord the god bids me. And he is asleep.”
“Let us see this strange god who journeys in a hired barge. Awaken thy
god, O slave, and let us see him:” the fat voice wheezed.
But I, slinging on my revolver again, stepped out of the cabin. And,
at sight of me, the boatman shut his full red lips; and leaned easily
upon the steering-oar, as one whose part is well-done. But I perceived
that a royal galley lay alongside, which bore a very inquisitive negro,
richly garbed and of hideously inconvenient obesity. Whom I austerely
addressed, demanding his generalities.
“I,” he said, in a quieter tone, “am the Pharoah’s private detective;
and I stop all boats which come downstream to satisfy myself that they
are not sent by the rebel-mercenaries.”
“These spears and javelins,” I answered him, shewing the stacks,
“are branded with the Rose of Rhodes and the Crane of the Karians;
and they were drawn out of the holes which thou mayst see among my
bulwarks: into which holes they first were hurled by the rebels. Judge,
therefore, whether the rebels would thus have assailed their friends,
or their foes.”
“But, if ye be foes of the rebels, ye must have passed them by.”
“That is true,” I said: “for I encountered them above Ptolemais Hermii,
where I slew Pyrrhos and thirteen of his gang; and so I passed them by.”
“Dost thou say that thou hast slain Pyrrhos and thirteen of the
mercenaries? Either thou art indeed a god, or a hero, or a very great
liar. And, as I take thee for the last, I shall detain thee while I
inquire into the truth of thy story. If it be true, thou shalt be
compensated. If it be false, prepare to suffer certain torments.”
Thus rashly he spoke, beating his ceruminous belly: but I, glowing with
anger, said: “And dost thou, O mountain of impudence, think that I, who
have outfaced a whole galley full of armed Greeks, will be stayed by
any emasculate slaves of the Lagidai?”
“Hear the voice of the god, and give ear to long-armed Psammy lord of
apes:” the fat phlegmatic negro exclaimed in a tone of derision.
But my blood boiled because my rather-long arms were mocked by a
blameless black man; and the lust of battle inflamed me again, making
my great strength as the strength of nineteen; and the ferocity of the
long-curving fiercely-clutching claws of a crab inflamed the hands of
me. For which causes, and knowing that it would take a better man than
a bloated nigger to stand up to me, I bounded from my bulwark to the
galley, terribly bellowing. And, alighting near my scoffer, I rent the
well-toothed jaw from the head of him, and smashed the rest of his face
to a purple pudding therewith. Also, tearing his fingers asunder like
a rag, I split his right hand up to the wrist; and, so, I tossed him,
devoutly hiccoughing his physical agony, as an offering to the sons of
slime.
But I turned swiftly to seek another victim. And, on the prow,
an archer stood balanced on long slim straddling legs, drawing a
brass-tipped arrow to his ear: but its point was toward me. And him,
complaining bitterly, I also sacrificed to the inchanted crocodiles.
But, being now well in the way of fighting, I snatched at my revolver;
and, by chance, my hand touched the magic staff hanging from my belt.
And the potency of it caused certain admirable events. For, first, my
wrath cooled, and instantly died away: but I myself began to utter
wily words in my usual manner, pointing the staff at the crew of
the Pharoah’s galley, and saying: “Ye have seen the dire fate which
overtakes those who temerariously oppose me. Be wise, therefore. Stand
not in my way: nor follow me too far.[29] But draw off speedily, lest
a like doom should afflict you also.”
But, when I had spoken thus with my mouth, I added the _Spell Which
Binds_ with my mind. And, being bound, they remained whimpering, but
as still as stones: but I, returning to my barge, washed my hands and
resumed my journey.
After this manner I did with the Pharoah’s objectionable private
detective.
FOOTNOTES:
[26] I really cannot resist preserving this most pleasing pleonasm. A.
H.
[27] It is perhaps unnecessary for me to mention that this papyrus
simply bristles with words neatly written in English of course by Mr.
C. himself. A. H.
[28] This is the most cryptic allusion in the present fragment; and
I must confess that it puzzles me sadly. I am given to understand
that “Iota Delta Beta” sometimes signifies “Illicit Diamond Buyer,”
an obsolete species of South African criminal. But what kind of
thing a “Military Agriculturist” is (for that is what Mr. Crabbe’s
Greek means), passes my comprehension. I have therefore rendered the
expression by a simple transliteration of the original. A. H.
[29] I simply can’t help lifting this sentence clean out of Meredith’s
_Harry Richmond_; and I defy anyone to give a neater version of Mr.
Crabbe’s original, “ὉΠΩΣ ΜΗΤΕ ΑΝΤΙϹΤΗϹΕΙ ΜΟΙ; ΜΗΤΕ ΕΨΕΙ ΠΟΡΡΩΤΕΡΩ.” A.
H.
THE NINTH PAPYRUS
Now it seemed to me, when I pondered the thing, that it was a
misfortune. For, when a wily stranger desires to pass through a foreign
country for a certain secret purpose, it is but prudent for him to
refrain from marking his road with homicides. Even my victory over
Pyrrhos, though the Pharoah would pension me for slaying his enemies,
gave me notoriety instead of the oblivion which I preferred. But the
matter of the face-marred negro was indeed grave: for he was an officer
of the Pharoah. For which cause, I perceived that the blessed gods
would have me in Tanis without delay, that I might find my friend there
and perform my business in seclusion. For a man may seclude himself far
more easily in a city (excepting in a certain city) than in the open
country. So, for three days, I sailed in peace, resting my body, but
contriving many new wiles.
But the possession of the barge and of the two slaves weighed upon me.
For, having considered that I was going to a strange place, in search
of one of whose existence in the flesh I had no actual knowledge, I
determined that it is well (in all warfare) to provide a base for
operations, and one which can be moved upon occasion. And it seemed
to me that the barge and the slaves were precisely what I wanted. Yet
I did not know whether they would serve me willingly at the end of the
voyage for which they had been engaged; and, in a delicate matter, I
will have none but willing and (indeed) devoted assistants. With these
notions in my mind, therefore, I used winged words, questioning Nesamun
and Yokkho while they piously shaved each other’s heads. And I elicited
that, when Nesamun’s sister married the Argive bargeman at Thebes, the
two mariners joined together in partnership, Nesamun being owner of the
barge which I had on hire, and the three barges which we had left at
Thebes being the property of his brother-in-law. Also, I learned that
Yokkho was the son of another sister of Nesamun, both his parents being
some time guests of the Divine Osiris in Amentet. Moreover, I learned
that both were perfectly free to dispose of themselves as they pleased,
and that on reaching Tanis nothing remained expected but that I should
dismiss the youth and the boy with a gift, for they refused to take
hire from a god: they, then, in the ordinary way, would convey another
passenger upstream, returning to Thebes while I went back to heaven to
attend to my godly affairs.
But, after I had heard all these things, and while I was weighing
them in my mind, Nesamun and Yokkho crept nearer, laying themselves
out at length on their faces very straight at my feet, and begging
me not to send them away. And I, having considered their intelligence
and fidelity not less than their agility and strength and quite
singular comeliness, did not peremptorily deny them. For, in fact,
the Nesamunity of Nesamun and the Yokkhoism of Yokkho were far from
displeasing me.[30] Moreover, the words which Yokkho had intoned, when
he looked into the palm-mirror, suddenly climbed out of my memory and
buzzed at me. He, indeed, had chaunted: “_The silver god, pointing at
the galley, slays_:” and undoubtedly I (not old but silver-haired,
and a god as they called me) had slain Pyrrhos and certain few on a
galley, pointing my death-spitter at his eye. But that was only one of
the things which the clear-seeing slave had predicted, being the first
of his utterances; and, perchance, the others also would be fulfilled
in their order. And I became sorrowful because I had smacked the
clear-seer nor paid due heed to his sayings. But, calling on Memory for
a really violent effort, I recollected the seven predictions, each in
its turn, writing them in my hand-book; and I perceived that, next, the
silver god would take a singing bow in a temple. Now, supposing myself
to be the silver god, it was quite certain that I was about to visit a
temple, seeking Amenemhat; and I opined that, there, I should engage
in some adventure of a singing bow at the pleasure of the gods. Which
adventure I began very eagerly to anticipate. But, meanwhile, Nesamun
and Yokkho lay stretched at length before me in supplication.
And I determined that it would be greatly to my advantage to have the
commodious barge at hand, as a base of operations, as a retreat, or as
a means of retirement, should such be desirable. And I also determined
that good slaves, who are willing slaves, are very hard to find, and
(when found) ought to be cherished and used rather than rejected and
wasted. And, lastly, I determined that these two, being well-made in
mind and body, were very proper subjects for my magic arts, and likely
to be of inestimable value. For which causes, I granted their petition.
And, having bought their persons from themselves, paying two gold
quarter-ounces to Nesamun for himself and one to Yokkho for himself, I
bought also the barge and its apparatus from Nesamun for another gold
quarter-ounce, all in the coinage of Victory queen of the stalwart
stately Anglicans. And so we came nearer to Tanis.
But, during the last hour of my journey, I cut (from one of the
Rhodian javelins) the little wooden emblem which none know save only
the priests of Isis, without which none may penetrate the sanctuaries
of temples. And I added it to the implements which I was to take
with me on my quest of Amenemhat. And, having concealed all my other
gear beneath the floor of my cabin in the presence of my slaves, in
their view also (using my magic staff) I summoned the sons of slime,
committing the charge of my goods to Nesamun and Yokkho, with a crowd
of inchanted crocodiles for witnesses, whom anon I dismissed with the
_Word_.
Thus we came to the last reach leading to Tanis which sits on both
hythes of the river. But, skimming onward, we passed the little fane of
Pasht, marking the site of the old city-wall which the hordes of Okhos
had destroyed in the days when Nekt-Nebf was the Pharoah. And we found
a small quay below the city, secluded and abandoned, very suitable for
a voyager desirous of privacy. But here my journey ended.
And, as soon as the barge was anchored, I sent Nesamun girded into
the city to buy a length of fine linen, and to replenish my store of
victuals and drink. Furthermore, I bade him to buy for me a necklace of
heliotrope stones and a posy of fresh marigolds, for a new wile which I
had invented. And, when the slave returned, I made a priest’s surplice
of fine linen, wherewith I vested my body, placing beneath it various
convenient matters. But, when I appeared as a priest to them, I bade
the slaves to clean the barge, and to pitch it within and without with
pitch of Zakynthos (which pitch is the best), and also to keep it ready
to start on a new voyage at a moment’s notice either by day or by night.