The weird of the wanderer Being the papyrus records of some incidents in one of the previous lives of Mr. Nicholas Crabbe
make an agreement concerning the heavenly dispute, desiring not the
enmity but the friendship of us Olympians.
Whom I superbly answered, saying: “Talk now no more of agreements, O
thrice-and-four-times accused pretender and new god. For, as there
are not faithful leagues between lions and men, neither have lambs
and wolves an according mind, but ever meditate evils each against
other, so it is impossible for us and you to contract a friendship.
Long, indeed, have we striven to treat your pretensions leniently,
in accordance with reason: but ye have presumed on our forbearance,
mistaking our gentleness for weakness, and crowning your bloody folly
with a crime, an outrage wrought by a dastard on a daughter and on an
embassador of the king of gods and men. But now it is time to make an
end of you. And I go forthwith to lofty Olympos, to rally against you
the hosts of the splendour of Zeys.”
Thus I spoke; and having by magic called my silver-shining chariot, I
led to it Queen Helen, and Nestor the Argive, who was not to be left
to the mercy of Juppiter Stator; and, when they had mounted to their
places, I placed on the floor the sword of atrocious Mars, intending to
take it as a trophy and a perpetual memorial. But I, also, was about to
ascend beside them, when there came heavily prancing certain blameless
divine ones, squalid of demeanour and agitated of aspect, offering
gifts on the part of the Capitoline god, and begging for a little
respite. And I, having relieved my blooming mind by speaking fierce
opinions to them, and being not at all times implacable but rather
inclined to urbanity, actually did delay for an instant, revolving the
whole matter in my mind, and waiting to hear what might be proposed.
But, even while I tarried thus, my godly eyes clearly saw revengeful
Bellona, sister and pander of Mars, beginning to harness the hounds of
war to her chariot round the corner.
Then, indeed, I turned upon thievish Mercury the messenger, an ape-like
imitator of my wing-footed grandsire, saying: “Return, O messenger, to
Capitoline Juppiter, to whom do thou tell all things openly as I charge
thee: so that all the gods of all the wide-rolling heavens also may
be indignant, even if he (clad in impudence) still dares to deceive
any of the immortals. Let him not (doglike as he is and not godlike)
ever hope to look in my face again as an equal. I neither will join in
counsel nor in action with him: for having already offended me, now he
will try to deceive me. He shall not again over-reach me with lying
words. Enough for him once to do so. But let him perish in quiet: for
Great Zeys, no doubt, has deprived him of reason. Hateful to me are his
gifts, and himself I value not a hair.”
Thus I spoke: but my heart and noble mind were delighted in my breast.
And, having ascended my silver-shining chariot, Queen Helen pulled the
chain; and faithful Love flew away with us as swiftly as a bird or a
thought. But my great black bow began to sing very gloriously of war,
as we left the Super-Capitol, making bright the eyes, hardening the
body, and kindling flames within the mind: for fierce-hearted Bellona
pursued us, over the breadth of Apulia to the unvintaged sea. But
being loathe to fight with a bloody female and (moreover) a blameless
Latin one armed with a bow which to mine was but as a toy, I loosed
my death-bringing shafts backward against the hackles of her blooming
war-hounds, throwing them into confusion. And she, cursing obscenely,
turned, retracing her difficult way.
In this manner I did deeds, wily, and also audacious, visiting the
courts of strange gods who bear rule over barbarians.
FOOTNOTES:
[61] Mexico, Japan, and China, I presume. A. H.
[62] The writer would seem to have hit upon some remote parts of Wales,
or perhaps Scotland, to which Roman civilization had not penetrated.
This is rather unfortunate. For the general condition of the
“sea-girt island” _cf._ Codrington, _Roman Roads in Britain_, and Mr.
Haverfield’s amazingly luminous monographs on _Roman Britain_. At the
same time, we must not forget that the Scotch did really worship demons
originally, which is why their descendants have jumped at Puritan
theology, as Mr. Chesterton expressly demonstrates. A. H.
[63] This is valuable for testing the authenticity of these documents.
_Cf._ Hor. _Ep._ I. vi. 59-63: “Gargilius ... Ithacensis Ulixi.” The
importance of this can hardly be minimized. A. H.
THE TWENTY-NINTH PAPYRUS
But the way in which we Olympians went forth to war was on this wise.
King Zeys, armed with black clouds and white thunder, sat throned in
the areiopagos of the immortals, collecting his forces, assigning
commands and stations. For, as when some hairy barbarian (devoid
of reason) was wont to prance minaciously in the vicinity of the
flowing-haired ingenuous Akhaians, or as when some city (jealous,
or what-not) warred against its neighbour or some bumptious young
colony against its staid and respectable mother-city, all the other
Argives were wont to mingle themselves hilariously together against
the foe, so, also, when the Olympian gods are menaced, each one (from
the highest to the lowest) and including the heroes takes up arms in
defence of his dear motherland.
But King Zeys, whose joy is in the thunder, bade golden-wanded Hermes
to summon from the house of shady Hades the shades of innumerable
heroes who had not attained immortality; and these were as unnumbered
as are leaves and flowers in their season: nor could I number them,
did not the Muses, daughters of Zeys of the dark and holy Aigis, put
into my mind the names of some who came at call to lofty Olympos.
For, when the Olympians go forth to war, then the shades of heroes
are called from the netherworld, and are endowed with bodies. But, if
they stolidly permit themselves to be slaughtered in battle, they lose
an opportunity of attaining immortality and return as shades to the
house of Hades for at least another hundred years. Such, indeed, is
the law. But I remember that these were called from the netherworld,
to wit, yellow-haired fleet-footed Akhilleys, and daring Patroklos
his dear comrade, and red-haired Neoptolemos his son as brave as his
father, and horse-taming Diomedes, and Phoinix dear to Zeys, and
blameless Telamonian Aias the Great, and Lokrian Aias the Little,
and great-hearted Iphitos, and Abantian Elephenor breathing fury
(whose hair flowed behind), and high-hearted Erekhtheys, and godly
Eyryalos, and Agamemnon shepherd of the people, and warlike Agapenor,
and stalwart Diores, and pious Polyxeinos, and Meges peer of Ares,
and large-souled Oineys, and gold-haired Meleagros, and Idomeneys the
famous spearman fierce as flame, and Meriones peer of the man-slaying
war-god, and goodly tall Tlepolemos the Rhodian son of Herakles, and
Philoktetes the cunning archer, and glorious Eyrypylos, and unflinching
Polypoites, and fleet Prothoos, and sage Antenor, and high-stepping
Pandaros, and fluent Talthybios the herald, and comely Sthenelos, and
the lusty cheerful stripling Simoeisios, and well-greaved Tydeys, and
noble Hypsenor, and glancing-eyed Diokles, and innocent Pylaimenes,
and Mydon the squire, and that nymph-born shepherd Boykolion, and
haughty Bellerophon. And these, being summoned, gathered with speed.
And, as the many tribes of well-plumed birds, wild geese, or swans or
long-necked cranes, or even blooming bustards, on the Asian meadow
by River Kaystros, fly hither and thither enjoying their plumage,
and (with loud cries) settle ever onward, and the meadow resounds,
so poured forth the many tribes of warriors, with Theseys the most
righteous of men, from the house of Hades; and they joined with the
immortal heroes, lion-hearted Herakles, and my own cousin Perseys
of the sea (the most renowned of heroes), and Kastor the tamer of
horses, and Polydeykes the pugilist, and magnanimous Iason with his
nine-and-forty generous marine Argonayts, and with others quite
innumerable whose names I have not written for a religious reason: all
mingled together manning the walls of lofty Olympos.
Then came forth from their well-built golden palaces, Ares the lordly
stormer of battlements, and Phoibos Apollon lord of the silver bow, and
his chaste sister Artemis the Archer wearing the moon. And bright-eyed
Pallas Athene cast off her rainbow-hued garments which she herself had
woven; and did on her armour for battle. And, about her shoulders, she
put the terrible Aigis, which knows neither age nor death, whereon
wave a hundred taslets of pure gold, all deftly twisted, and each
worth a hundred oxen: whereon, also, is Panic as a crown round about,
and Strife, and Valour, and horrible Onslaught withal; and thereon,
also, is the grisly snake-haired head of Medoysa the Gorgon, a portent
dreadful and grim. And upon her virginal head, she set the two-crested
golden casque of fourfold plates bedecked with the men-at-arms of a
hundred cities. And she brandished the great stout spear, wherewith she
vanquishes and demolishes all with whom her immortal sire is wrath.
But Hephaistos, the glorious lame god, sweated in toil, busy about the
bellows and the anvil in his house of bronze, imperishable, star-like,
far-seen among the abodes of the immortals: for he was forging
thunderbolts, with arms, and armour.
And, anon, came running the Hora Dike, warden of the cloudy gate,
bringing news that the Latins were approaching in battle-array.
But, instantly, we were pouring out, like wasps who dwell by the
roadside: whom silly boys are wont to irritate, incessantly harassing
creatures possessing cells by the wayside, and causing a common
evil to many. And, as when thick snow-flakes flutter down, born in
the æther and chilled by the blasts of Boreas, so, thickly streamed
forth brightly-glittering helms and bossy shields, with strong-plated
corslets and nastily-pointed spears. And the sheen thereof filled the
heavens near; and the world underneath winked at the flashing of gold
and silver and at the noise of the trampling; and our teeth gnashed
together; and our eyes blazed like so many flaming fires.
But wing-footed Hermes and wind-borne Iris flew, like unseen
arrows, the one to azure-haired Poseidon lord of the ocean, the
other to blameless Hades lord of the netherworld, always collecting
reinforcements. And gallant young Love, ruddy, naked and invulnerable,
rushed with me into the mellay. For no shafts are more deadly than
Love’s.
And the war-chariot of King Zeys the Scarer thundered, awfully rolling
along by the polished colonnades of palaces, bearing the father and
king of gods and men to the forefront of the fray.
But King Quirinus was leading the heroes of the Latins, all blameless
of course, with Aulus master of knights on the left and Furius on the
right, with Herminius in the rear. Turnus served under King Quirinus,
with Mamilius prince of the Latian name. Under Aulus, served Metius
of Anxur and Astur lord of Luna. Under Furius, served showy Curtius,
the forlorn hope. These were all the most righteous of heroes. But the
Latin gods preferred to look on, sullen, from the rear, in what they
fondly deemed to be security.
Thus, immortals were matched against pseud-immortals.
THE THIRTIETH PAPYRUS
Then the Father and King of gods and men thundered appallingly from
above, and, from beneath, the sea-king Poseidon set the vast earth
shaking, even to the tops of her blooming mountains. And the brazen
voice of impetuous Ares resounded through the press of battle; and
bravely-steadfast Herakles strewed the Latin heroes in swathes,
sweeping his club here and there, shattering shins, causing the marrow
to spurt from spines, so that knees became loosened; and sweet Death