The weird of the wanderer Being the papyrus records of some incidents in one of the previous lives of Mr. Nicholas Crabbe
hath some apt unwinged sentence of judgment in his wily mind.”
Then, indeed, I stood up before all the blooming company of
heaven, in my silver-shining chariot inlaid with crabs and moons
in mother-of-pearl, but Love was my charioteer; and thus I said:
“Immortality to immortals, and nothings to nothingness.”
And all the gods and goddesses (bestowers of good things) stood in
their own war-chariots; and inextinguishable laughter arose among the
blessed gods, when they heard my wily words.
But great Zeys said: “It pleaseth us; and, so, of our own free will, we
command that it shall be done.”
And, immediately, all the gods and goddesses of Olympos leaped upon
all the blameless gods and goddesses of Rome, Zeys upon Juppiter,
and Hera upon Juno, Helios Hyperion upon Sol, and Selene upon Luna,
Phoibos Apollon upon Apollo, and Artemis upon Diana, Ares upon Mars,
and Iakkhos Dionysos upon Bacchus, Eros upon Cupid, and Aphrodite
upon Venus, Hermes upon Mercury, and Pallas Athene upon Minerva,
Demeter upon Ceres, and Hephaistos upon Vulcan, Hades upon Pluto,
and Persephone upon Proserpina, Kastor and Polydeykes upon Castor
and Pollux, Herakles upon Hercules, and Poseidon upon Neptune, and
innumerable others upon others innumerable, pouncing upon them, like
falcons biting the bloody brains of baser birds, buzzards, and such,
sucking out their immortality.
And the forms of the Latin gods, like flies in the webs of assiduous
spiders, lifeless, and very void, fell back, dropping from heaven to
earth; and the speed of their falling ground them to powder, so that
they became as red dust, and a most awful portent for their Romans on
whom they fell. For, by chance, at this same time, the Romans were
perturbed by a political crisis, connected with that Gajus Julius
Cæsar, a king of men and a shepherd of the people. For, when they saw
fierce fiery warriors fighting on the clouds, in ranks and squadrons
and right forms of war, which drizzled blood of heroes on the Capitol,
and, when they heard the neighing of horses and the groans of ghosts
of heroes, slain, shrieking, squealing, going to the land of shades,
then, indeed, blind madness entered into them; and they slew their
precious Cæsar. Thus, the heavens themselves blaze forth the death of
princes.[64]
But the immortal gods, more amply immortal than ever (if that were
possible), returned to their dear motherland bearing the spoils of
victory; and the divine ones inhabiting olympian palaces began to
receive the worship of the Romans, as was due.
In this manner, was there peace in the wide-rolling heavens.
FOOTNOTES:
[64] This, I take for a somewhat Shakespearian reminiscence (or
prevision) on the part of Mr. C. Cf. _Julius Cæsar_, Act II., Scene ii.
A. H.
THE THIRTY-SECOND PAPYRUS
But King Zeys lavished rich rewards, dividing the Roman territories
among gods and heroes, giving temples to some and altars to others, to
say nothing of blank walls eligible for immortal effigies. But, because
I was by no means anxious to have assigned to me the worship of mortal
men (for, having been myself a man more than once, I know something
about the value of men’s worship; and I care as little for suitors who
adulate as for enemies who feel bound to propitiate), then, the Father
and King of gods and men deigned to give me a wish, confirming the same
with his nod, which is the surest pledge among the immortals. And I
said that I would treasure this wish in my heart, so that I might use
it on occasion: for I desired, at that moment, nothing more than to
live in peace and love with Golden Helen. And that, I did.
Living in peace and love, thus, we entertained ourselves with hunting
bears, dragons, and urchins,[65] on the long slopes of lofty Olympos,
or with delicate banquets in the halls of various gods. I, also,
went frequently to and fro among mortal men, generally invisibly,
amusing myself with their affairs. Also, I was wont to disport myself
in my well-benched galley, a wonder to be seen, being drawn by Love
over the grey-green sea at my will. For Hermes my grandsire, and
bravely-steadfast Herakles, and my own cousin Perseys of the sea (the
most renowned of heroes), used to accompany me in my jaunts; and, when
these immortals saw my faithful slaves Neandros and Thalos, being
cognizant of their fidelity and their fearlessness, and, also, having
observed the ingenious mind and the stalwart form of Neandros and the
luminous innocence of Thalos, then, indeed, they shewed them signal
favours, putting into their minds a knowledge of many secrets which the
gods and heroes find useful at times. Nor were the slaves afraid to
have to do with these divine ones, having already braved the terrors
of the netherworld with me, than which there is nothing more terrible,
excepting a really horrid woman. But, because I (by magic art) had
bound their lives to mine, and, because Great Zeys, in reward of my
endurance and my wiles, had indued me with immortality, so Neandros
and Thalos, being immortal as well (though they were neither gods nor
heroes, but only the most comely and most faithful and most clever of
slaves), became habituated to mingle themselves as conveniently with
immortals as with mortals. Which is a wonderful and blessed thing.
But, after a few moons, when I from time to time returned to lofty
Olympos, it seemed to me that Queen Helen was less cheerful than
heretofore. And, when, one day, I found her sitting alone in her close
chamber, weaving a white and silver shirt for me to wear at banquets,
and the lids of her amber eyes were reddened as though with weeping,
then, indeed, I required her to declare to her dear husband the cause
of her grief. But she laid her head on my breast, letting fall a round
tear: nor did she hide aught from me.
For, the long-smouldering jealousy of blameless Queen Aphrodite (the
lady of the dog-star) had been breaking forth; and she was quite
unable to remember good manners in the presence of Queen Helen. But
it was plain to us all, that, as Queen Helen was far lovelier than
she, Queen Aphrodite was no longer the goddess of beauty, though she
still was the goddess of certain kinds of love. Yet, even on the last
count, she complained, being shockingly jealous and upset. For she was
aggrieved because ruddy young Love gave her little of his blooming
company, having bound himself (with a silver chain) in service to me
and to Queen Helen, flying here and there through air and shy for our
exclusive diversion, neglecting her (his mamma) and other divine ones
inhabiting olympian palaces. Which, indeed, was not altogether untrue:
though hitherto we had not given the matter a thought.
Furthermore, white-armed Queen Hera (the most righteous of goddesses),
had been speaking unpleasant words. For that prim matron, being
jealous also, because King Zeys the Swan had procreated Golden Helen
and her Great Twin Brothers out of matrimony, was wont to sneeze more
or less covertly, giggling, flinging the names of victorious Theseys
and sandy-haired impotent old Menelaos and woman-mad Paris at my
stainless wife, designing to shame her and to deprive her mind of ease.
And all this was a very dreadful thing for a chaste and loving wife to
bear. For, though bright-eyed Pallas Athene, and silvan Artemis (that
wise athletic maiden), and fruitful Demeter and powerful Persephone
(those noble matrons), and fair-ankled Hebe, and Iris of the rainbow,
and all the other lady goddesses, being well-bred as well as well-born,
behaved themselves to Queen Helen as to an equal, peerless in beauty
and admirable for her faithful love, nevertheless, the unconcealed
jealousy of the two flawed the fair apricock of her perfect joy. And,
moreover, it must not be denied that the pique of Queen Aphrodite and
the spleen of Queen Hera (both quite blameless) was, or would be, a
cause of wrath, and secret stirring up of strife, and wordy bickering,
and malice, and hinted lies, and curious reservations, and careful
slightings, which would set all heaven by its blooming ears. And that
is what no honest goddess can endure with a calm and holy mind.
Now, because of my unalloyed happiness, and because of my light-hearted
absences, I had been ignorant of all these matters. But, when I
understood them, having reproached myself sufficiently on account
of my selfishness, then, indeed, divine Fury inflamed the mind in my
noble breast with desire of bloody head-cuttings and eye-diggings and
revenges and slaughters and maimings and stonings and spine-impalings.
But, first, I consoled Queen Helen properly.
Then I began to bethink me of most shocking things, to wit, of
certain cunning wiles whereby those two blameless goddesses might
be made laughing-stocks, ridiculous among the divine ones who have
never lost their faces. For I remembered that this would not be very
difficult, for, once upon a time, Great Zeys himself had occasion to
dangle white-armed Hera (the most righteous of goddesses) between
heaven and earth for several months, having fastened anvils to her fat
ankles, because she was excessively offensive. And even Hephaistos of
the strong arm once caught blameless Aphrodite, his wife, diverting
herself gaily with Ares; and he cast a magic web about them so that
all the gods and goddesses might go and gibe at them at pleasure.
And, indeed, it would not be difficult for anyone to make Queen
Aphrodite look absurd: as most of the gods and heroes, and very many
articulately-speaking men well know.
But Queen Helen was averse from all unkindness, and, as aforetime, when
persecuted, she begged me to take her away from the netherworld, and
from Khalkis, and likewise from Rome, so, now, indeed, she implored
me to take her away from the height of Olympos, going (she said)
peacefully, to seek some distant little kingdom on the wide-bosomed
earth, where we (divine ones and immortal), having ourselves endured
unmentioned and unthought-of pains, and possessing the secret wisdom of
the gods, might live in peace and love with ourselves, doing good and
kindly deeds among mortal men.
Now it happened, by chance, that (in my wanderings to and fro) I had
never been altogether unmindful of the prediction of Belmarduk the god
of Assyria, which he made to me when I dreamed in my barge in Egypt.
And, once, when I was flying in my Love-drawn chariot, over the Aigaian
Sea, and over Asia and Galatia and Kappadokia and Armenia, I espied the
fair little realm of Moxoene, where mountains and pine and oak-forests
were set round and about the salt Thospitian Sea; and the folk of the
place were singularly comely, and intelligent and brave, having also
ingenious and reverend minds: but they seemed to be as sheep without a
shepherd.
Wherefore, I determined that the time had come for obeying the decrees
of The Supreme, fulfilling the prediction of Belmarduk the god, and
the sixth prediction which Thalos my innocent slave read in the
palm-mirror. Moreover, I remembered the wish which Great Zeys had
confirmed to me.
For which causes, then, I gave a great and splendid banquet to the
immortals; and, when we had taken away the desire of eating and
drinking (for I provided very exquisite odours of unmentioned and
unthought-of fragrance), then, I stood up on my throne before them all;
and my lordly spirit thus addressed Great Zeys, saying: “O Father and
King of gods and men, let it not be imputed to me for an evil word when
I ask that the drink-offering may be poured, and that I may go upon
my way. For I am a little tired. For it seems that there is jealousy
among the immortal goddesses because of the superior beauty of Golden
Helen, to whom white-armed Hera and Aphrodite (lady of the dog-star)
have spoken unwinged words. And they also complain because tameless