Twenty Years of Hus'ling
I told her that we always had great times, wherever we were. She said
she guessed that was so.
After breakfast I returned to the room, and let Frank have the shirt to
wear to breakfast; after which he came in with a large package
containing his order.
I lost no time in getting into a shirt, and, in fact, to tell the
truth, we each put on three shirts, for fear that some unforeseen
accident might occur. I might also add that we resolved when we put
those shirts on, that no outside one should ever be taken off unless it
was actually _soiled_.
The old adage, "Misfortunes never come singly," was well illustrated in
our case; for before night I was interviewed by the landlord in quite an
unexpected manner. While standing near the wash-room he came rushing up
to me, and calling me to one side, said:
"Johnston, I want to ask a little favor of you."
"Very well, landlord; I'll be glad to grant it, if I can. What is it?"
"Well, I want to ask you to loan me twenty-five dollars for just two
days, and I will----"
"Well, landlord," I interrupted, "I'd let you have it, but----"
"Well, now, look here, Johnston, don't think I am dunning you,--don't
think I am afraid of you," he hurriedly explained.
"Oh, no," said I. "I understand that, landlord, but I'll tell you how it
is; you see----"
"Don't think I am dunning you, Johnston, don't think that, for I'll hand
it right back to you in a day or two," he again assured me.
"That's all right," I said, "that's all right. I was going to say, I'd
let you have it in a minute, if I had it; but I haven't got it."
"Well! how much have you?" He asked in a much-surprised manner.
"I'll tell you all about it," I answered. "When we arrived here, nearly
six weeks ago, we had about two dollars left, after buying each of us a
shirt; and I don't think we have over twenty cents between us, just at
present."
He gazed at me in silence for a moment, and then said:
"What on earth am I going to do?"
"Well, indeed, I don't know; but perhaps you can borrow it from some
friend of yours; at any rate, it won't do any harm to try."
"No, but, I mean what am I going to do about your board bill?"
"Oh, I see. Oh, well, landlord, you needn't worry about that. We are
well pleased with your accommodations, and haven't the slightest thought
of quitting you."
"Yes; but the longer you stay the worse I am off," said he.
"Well, I can't see how you make that out. The longer we stay the more we
will owe you."
"Exactly so, and that's where the trouble lies."
"Well, the more we owe you the more you will have coming," I suggested;
"and I'll just say this: That we have been traveling over a large scope
of country, and yours is one of the best hotels we have ever stopped at;
and I'll give you my word as a gentleman that we'll never leave till our
bill is settled."
"But, ---- it!" He ejaculated. "I tell you the longer you stay the worse
I am off, and the harder it will be to settle."
"But," said I, "you don't understand the nature of our business. If you
did you would know that it would be as easy for us to pay a large bill
as a small one." I then added:
"Rest assured, landlord, that until this bill is paid in full--one
hundred cents on the dollar--you can always count on two Star boarders."
We then stared at each other for about two minutes, when he began to
laugh, and said:
"Well, you're a dandy! Come and take a drink."
"No, thank you; I never drink."
"Take a cigar, then."
"I never smoke, landlord."
"Well, what on earth do you do? I'd like to show my appreciation of the
style of man you are, by treating or doing something to please you."
"Then I'll tell you what you can do, landlord; while you are out
borrowing the twenty-five dollars, suppose you make it about forty, and
let us have the fifteen to settle up our wash bill, and pay a little
bill we owe across the road."
And to show him the necessity of helping us out, I plainly told him the
facts about how we had been getting our laundry, and our experience of
the previous day.
He laughed till he fell on the floor; and then took me to his wife's
apartments and asked me to relate the circumstances to her two lady
friends.
He borrowed the fifteen dollars for us, and said we should make
ourselves comfortable, which we were glad to do. We then relieved
ourselves of the two extra shirts each, and again settled down to
business.
Our papers at last arrived from Washington, and we began closing up a
few trades we had been working up. They were mostly small ones, however,
and usually for collaterals which we were obliged to convert into money
at a sacrifice.
Finally we dealt for a horse and carriage, which was turned over to the
landlord as settlement for board, and which he was just then in need of.
After paying back the fifteen dollars he had loaned us, we took our
departure.
CHAPTER XV.
OUR VISIT TO LA GRANGE, IND.--TRADED FOR A HORSE--FOLLOWED BY AN
OFFICER, WITH A WRIT OF REPLEVIN--PUTTING HIM ON THE WRONG SCENT--HIS
RETURN TO THE HOTEL--THE HORSE CAPTURED--BROKE AGAIN--HOW I MADE A
RAISE.
Our next trade was made near La Grange, Ind., with a man by the name of
Dodge. I remember the name on account of having read an article in a
Sturgis, Mich., paper, wherein it stated that two patent-right men had
recently dodged into La Grange, and after dodging around Mr. Dodge had
dodged him out of a valuable horse, with which they dodged over to
Michigan. This statement was perhaps correct enough, with the exception
of its reference to our dodging over into Michigan, as though we did it
to evade the Indiana laws. This was by no means the case, for we were
authorized agents for the patentee, and always did a strictly legitimate
business, even if we were, at times, "a little short financially."
We took the horse over to Sturgis to try and sell him, stopping at the
Elliott House. Mr. Elliott, Proprietor, has since become one of my most
intimate friends, and is now running a hotel at Ludington, Michigan.
As we were sitting out in front of the Hotel, talking, one morning, I
noticed a stranger coming towards us, carrying a pitch-fork and
band-cutter in one hand, and in the other a large paper.
Mr. Elliott remarked:
"There comes Mr. Dodge's son, now. Guess he is going out peddling your
patent."
I "supposed so."
This was not the case, however, for as he stepped up to Mr. Elliott he
inquired for Johnston, and when I was pointed out to him he made a
tender of the deed and model, and demanded the horse in turn.
I of course refused, whereupon he threatened to replevy, and at once
returned to his lawyer's office.
At that moment a lawyer came up where we were, and Mr. Elliott helped me
to lay the case before him as quickly and plainly as possible, when he
advised that the best way for me, was to get the horse out of the
county, where their papers would be of no avail. I immediately saddled
the animal and started towards Branch County, taking a rather circuitous
route for Burr Oak. I took dinner at Fawn River, with a Mr. Buck, an old
acquaintance of my "mother-in-law."
Of course "mother-in-law" acquaintances were just as good as any, at
this stage of the game. I rode into Burr Oak just at dark, supposing it
to be in Branch County. After registering at the hotel and putting my
horse out, I took supper; and then began looking about for a buyer. I
very soon discovered that I was being shadowed, by a gentleman wearing a
wooden leg.
Upon inquiry, I learned that he was the Honorable Marshal of the town.
To note his manner one would have thought that he had corralled a Jesse
James. I didn't worry much, however, because I knew I could out-run any
wooden-legged man in Michigan.
I then went over to the telegraph office and introduced myself to its
occupant as a brother operator. He invited me inside the office, and
asked me to make myself at home.
A few moments later the ten-o'clock train arrived from the west, and
immediately after its departure the operator said he would have to go
down the track and attend to his switch-light, and requested me to
remain there till he returned.
During his absence a gentleman came to the office window, and very
excitedly inquired if I was the operator. I said:
"Don't I look like one? What can I do for you, sir?"
"Well, see here: Has there been a young fellow here this evening by the
name of Johnston, sending messages to his wife, or to any one else?"
"Yes, sir, he was telling me about a patent-right trade he had made for
a horse. Guess he told me all about it."
"Where is he now, I wonder?" was his next query.
"Come with me. I'll show you right where to find him."
I then led the way up street, and in the meantime questioned him as to
his business. He said he wanted to serve a writ of replevin and take the
horse. I then asked if he had papers that would do for Branch County. He
said he didn't need Branch County papers, as Burr Oak was in St. Joseph
County.
This was most depressing news to me; but I walked along till I came to
a street running north, when I stopped, and pointing in that direction,
said:
"Now you go to the very last house on the left-hand side of this street,
and inquire for Johnston. If they say he isn't there, you force your way
into the house. Don't leave till you get in; and there's no one here who
wouldn't be only too glad to see that family come up with by a good
sharp detective. Now don't fail to get in, for there you will find your
man."
He thanked me several times, and after shaking hands with me, started on
the run.
I then hurried to the hotel and ordered my horse, which the landlord
refused to let me have, saying that notice had been served on him to
keep it locked up.
I sat down to await the coming of the great detective.
He soon made his appearance, and more resembled a tramp than the
polished official of a few moments before. It was plainly evident to me
that he had made a desperate attempt to follow my instructions. One-half
of the skirt of his Prince Albert coat was entirely missing; no hat,
a piece torn from the seat of his pants, only half of his linen collar
left to grace his neck, and a single linen cuff to decorate his two
wrists; one sleeve of his coat in rags, one of his pant legs fringed
out, the perspiration running off him like rain-water, and one eye
closed. He came in panting and puffing and roaring like a lion.
"Find me a Justice of the Peace, at once! I'll arrest the whole gang!"
"Arrest what gang? Who are you alluding to?" asked the landlord.
"Why, that gang up north here. I'll arrest the whole mob, and shoot that
dog if I get killed for it!"
"Well, I supposed you were looking for Johnston?"
"Well, so I am; but they have him down there stowed away, and a whole
regiment of soldiers wouldn't be able to get in, unless that dog is put
out of the way. And that pesky old woman looks more like the devil than
a human being. I wouldn't venture back there alone for the whole north
half of Michigan!"
"But isn't this the man you want?" pointing to me.
"The devil, no. What do I want of the telegraph operator? I want
Johnston, but I'd give more for that ---- old woman's scalp and that
dog's life than I would for a dozen Johnstons and all the horses in the
state, and I----"
"But," interrupted the landlord, "this isn't the operator; this is
Johnston,--or at least, he's the man who rode the horse here."
"The dickens he is!" shrieked the officer. "This is the man who sent me
up there, and--"
"Did you get in?" I asked, insinuatingly.
"Get in? I want you to understand this is no joke, sir!" said he, as he