Twenty Years of Hus'ling
learned, was the pugilist of the town, came rushing up to us and said:
"Any man that will strike a drunken man is a coward."
From this we inferred that the whole thing was a put-up job, and our
only way out was to assert our rights and fight our way through.
He was coolly informed that we were not looking for fights, but we
never been placed on the list of cowards yet. He said:
"Well, I am here to clean both you fellows out."
"Very well, I guess you can commence on me," said Doctor Frank; and they
opened up. The crowd gathered closely around, and I became a little
excited, and fearful lest some one should assist the stranger by kicking
or hitting Frank. While they were scuffling on the ground I stuck close
by them, and realizing that my little escapade of the day before would
have a tendency to give me considerable prestige, I continued to cry
out, at the top of my voice:
"Gentlemen, stand back, stand back; the first man who interferes here
to-day will get knocked out in less than a second, and I'm the boy that
can do it."
Every one was yelling for the pugilist but myself; and I continued
talking encouragingly to Frank at the very top of my voice:
"Stay by him, Doctor, old boy, stay by him, stay by him, never give up,
stay by him, make him lay still. I can whip any man that dares to
interfere."
For a few moments when the pugilist was on top of the Doctor it looked
rather dubious, but I knew the sort of stuff Frank was made of and kept
yelling:
"Never quit, Frank, die on the spot. Stay by him."
A second later the pugilist had not only been turned, but the fight had
also turned, for Frank was on top and it was not long till the pugilist
screamed:
"Take him off, take him off."
I said to Frank: "Let the poor devil up now, he has enough."
Frank raised up, looking a little the worse for the battle, but victory
was plainly written in his countenance. When he went into the hotel
office to wash, the landlord informed him that he had whipped the bully
of the town. About this time I felt considerably like having a little
brush myself, with some one, and stepping outside I asked in a loud tone
of voice if there was any one there who was not quite satisfied, and if
there was I would like to try any one of them a round or two just to
accommodate them. No one responded.
During my several years' experience I had learned to avoid any such
scenes as this one, and fully realized how easy it was to become
involved in trouble through a fracas. But at this particular time I was
really anxious to show fight and willing to take a whipping if I
couldn't hold my own. We were not molested in that town again.
I remember that Sunday night the office of the hotel was filled with men
who came in and expressed themselves as in sympathy with us; and I well
remember, too, the number of Wild West stories we related of our
experience on the frontier with wild Indians and Polar bears, and when
we finished relating them, how surprised many seemed to be that they had
all escaped with their lives during the late combat.
I remember one very exciting story I told about an encounter I had with
seven Indians and how I killed five of them and took the other two
prisoners after receiving thirteen wounds, and as evidence of my
assertion took off my coat and vest, and was about to remove my shirt,
to show the scars when Frank and the landlord stopped me and said:
"Never mind, Johnston, you showed us those scars last night, and
remember this is Sunday night and people are passing by going to church
and will see you; wait till to-morrow night and then show them."
Of course I took their advice and put my coat and vest on again, and was
amused to hear three or four old I-told-you-so-fellows say: "I knew it,
I knew you fellows were good ones, I knew no common ordinary fellows had
any business with you men."
Doctor Frank and I were sworn friends from this time on and continued
with the polish for some time.
One day I received a letter from my wife demanding an extra amount of
money from what I had been accustomed to sending her, and I borrowed all
Frank had, and with it sent all I had, leaving us without a cent, but
with plenty of polish. As we had from three o'clock in the afternoon
till sundown to operate, we hadn't the slightest doubt of being able to
make at least enough sales to procure money sufficient to pay expenses
over night; but in spite of every effort we were unable to even sell a
single bottle, and when darkness came we made arrangements with a farmer
for supper, lodging and breakfast.
In the morning of course the only thing we could do was to trade him
polish and I began negotiations with him, but in vain. I had polished
up two or three pieces of furniture, but neither himself nor his wife
seemed to care for it at all, and as we could plainly see were bent on
receiving a little pin-money from us. I then polished up another piece
of furniture and kept talking it up, perspiring freely, and noticed
great drops of perspiration standing out on Frank's forehead. Then I
polished more furniture and gave a more elaborate explanation of the
merits of the polish, Doctor Frank of course putting in a word now and
then. But we had struck a Tartar--in fact, two Tartars. They were as
firm as adamant.
We were at last cornered and looked at each other as though we had an
idea that a private consultation would be the thing to hold about that
time.
I felt that I would rather forfeit the old horse and wagon than
acknowledge that we had no money. I then said:
"Mr. ----, is the gentleman living in the second house south of here a
responsible and enterprising man?"
He answered that he was, and asked why.
"Well I have been thinking of making him a General Agent in this County
for my polish."
The lady of the house then said:
"John, why don't you take the agency? you have always wanted to travel."
He asked what kind of a show I'd give him.
I told him we charged ten dollars for the General Agency for each county
and we would supply him with the polish, or he could have the recipe for
making it by paying twenty-five dollars. He said he had no money and
there was no use talking.
I asked how much our bill would be for staying over night.
"Two dollars," was his reply.
"Very well, then, we can fix the money part. Which do you prefer, the
General Agency or the recipe?"
He said he wanted the recipe.
"You can just give us credit then, for the two dollars and pay us fifty
cents in cash and you will owe us twenty-two and one-half dollars which
you can pay after you have made it."
His wife said that was fair. He said he hadn't the fifty cents, but they
would give us a chicken for the difference.
As we had been accustomed to trading anything and everything we
explained that the fowl was right in our line, and immediately closed
the deal and left with it. The reader may be assured that we
congratulated ourselves on our narrow escape. The man still owes the
balance,--in fact I forgot to leave him my address, so he could send it.
We had consumed nearly a half day wrestling with our farmer friend to
effect a deal, and immediately started out with renewed vigor and the
chicken with its legs securely tied and under the wagon seat.
CHAPTER XXVI.
HELPING A TRAMP--WE DISSOLVE PARTNERSHIP--MY AUCTION SALE FOR THE
FARMER--HOW I SETTLED WITH HIM--I RESUME THE AUCTION BUSINESS FOR
MYSELF--MY HORSE TRADE--I START FOR MICHIGAN.
We were then but a short distance from Fostoria, to which place we
drove, arriving there at noon with seventy-five cents and the chicken,
which we sold for twenty-five cents. When we received the cash for it, a
rather seedy-looking individual stepped up and asked us if we couldn't
give him money enough to buy his dinner, as he had had nothing to eat
for several days. We figured that as we had a dollar we could afford to
give the fellow twenty-five cents, and have the same amount left for
dinner for each of us, including the old horse. When we handed the tramp
his quarter, I remarked:
"We will divide equally with you, which is the best we can do."
He thanked us, and passed out of the store, when a very sorry-looking
individual with a deacon-fied appearance who stood by said:
"Young man, I think you make a mistake by giving such characters money.
How do you know what he will do with it? He may spend it for liquor, and
may hoard it up; there is no telling what he will do with it. I believe
in charity, but I believe prayers are better than money for such
people."
"Well, if you believe in prayers you believe in God?"
"Of course I do."
"Then, sir, you must admit that God keeps the books; and if the tramp is
an impostor this little transaction will be recorded against him, and in
our favor--especially if His system of book-keeping is double entry."
The old gentleman laughed and said he didn't know but I was right, and
that he would give the matter a little extra thought. We then left the
store and immediately satisfied ourselves that the old gentleman was
right, in this particular instance, for we saw the tramp across the
street going into a saloon and followed him, reaching there just in time
to hear him order a glass of beer. I stepped up to him and said: "Are
you hungry?"
"No, sir, I am not; but I am thirsty."
"Well, sir, you've got to eat anyhow; we gave you twenty-five cents a
few moments ago to eat with, and, dang you, you have got to eat, and eat
twenty-five cents' worth, too, or be kicked out of town. Which do you
prefer?"
He thought he'd rather eat.
I took him by the neck and marched him forthwith to a restaurant, and
demanded of him that he order twenty-five cents' worth and eat every
mouthful of it, and assured him of our intention of returning a few
minutes later to see that he followed our instructions.
In about twenty minutes we passed by the restaurant and saw him sitting
at a table facing the door eating with as much energy and vigor as a
harvest hand. We turned back, and dropping in, explained the facts to
the restaurant-keeper, who informed us that he had ordered twenty-five
cents' worth. He soon finished the meal and came to the cashier to
settle. I asked if he had eaten everything brought him. He said not
everything, but all he wanted.
"Then, sir," said I, "you march back there and finish eating everything,
to the very last morsel."
He obeyed, but with an effort, as was plainly seen, for eating seemed
to be out of his line. But we felt satisfied. At any rate we didn't feel
that we had been absolutely swindled out of our money; so, after giving
the fellow a good sound lecturing, we let him go.
Doctor Frank and I kept together several weeks, and, although we worked
like troopers, were unable to lay up any money.
Finally he received a letter from an acquaintance in Northern Michigan,
wanting him to come there and engage in business with him. Stocked with
a valise full of polish, he bade me good-bye and started.
I continued on as usual until one night I stopped with a farmer who had
sold his farm and advertised an auction sale of his live stock and
farming utensils to take place the following day. I was anxious to
remain and hear his auctioneer, (who, he said, was a good one,) and
concluded to do so.
About ten o'clock the next forenoon a large crowd had gathered, and a
few moments later the auctioneer, in company with three other men,
arrived on the scene, all so intoxicated as to be scarcely able to sit
in their wagons.
The farmer was very indignant, and came to me and asked if I had an
idea I could sell off his property. I had spoken of my experience in
that line the night before, and now told him I thought I could do as
well as a drunken man, any how. In answer to his question of salary I