Ulysses
I suppose he died of galloping drink ages ago the days like years not a
letter from a living soul except the odd few I posted to myself with
bits of paper in them so bored sometimes I could fight with my nails
listening to that old Arab with the one eye and his heass of an
instrument singing his heah heah aheah all my compriment on your
hotchapotch of your heass as bad as now with the hands hanging off me
looking out of the window if there was a nice fellow even in the
opposite house that medical in Holles street the nurse was after when I
put on my gloves and hat at the window to show I was going out not a
notion what I meant arent they thick never understand what you say even
youd want to print it up on a big poster for them not even if you shake
hands twice with the left he didnt recognise me either when I half
frowned at him outside Westland row chapel where does their great
intelligence come in Id like to know grey matter they have it all in
their tail if you ask me those country gougers up in the City Arms
intelligence they had a damn sight less than the bulls and cows they
were selling the meat and the coalmans bell that noisy bugger trying to
swindle me with the wrong bill he took out of his hat what a pair of
paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any broken bottles for a
poor man today and no visitors or post ever except his cheques or some
advertisement like that wonderworker they sent him addressed dear Madam
only his letter and the card from Milly this morning see she wrote a
letter to him who did I get the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what
possessed her to write from Canada after so many years to know the
recipe I had for pisto madrileno Floey Dillon since she wrote to say
she was married to a very rich architect if Im to believe all I hear
with a villa and eight rooms her father was an awfully nice man he was
near seventy always goodhumoured well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie
theres the piannyer that was a solid silver coffee service he had too
on the mahogany sideboard then dying so far away I hate people that
have always their poor story to tell everybody has their own troubles
that poor Nancy Blake died a month ago of acute neumonia well I didnt
know her so well as all that she was Floeys friend more than mine poor
Nancy its a bother having to answer he always tells me the wrong things
and no stops to say like making a speech your sad bereavement
symph̸athy I always make that mistake and new̸phew with 2 double yous
in I hope hell write me a longer letter the next time if its a thing he
really likes me O thanks be to the great God I got somebody to give me
what I badly wanted to put some heart up into me youve no chances at
all in this place like you used long ago I wish somebody would write me
a loveletter his wasnt much and I told him he could write what he liked
yours ever Hugh Boylan in old Madrid stuff silly women believe love is
sighing I am dying still if he wrote it I suppose thered be some truth
in it true or no it fills up your whole day and life always something
to think about every moment and see it all round you like a new world I
could write the answer in bed to let him imagine me short just a few
words not those long crossed letters Atty Dillon used to write to the
fellow that was something in the four courts that jilted her after out
of the ladies letterwriter when I told her to say a few simple words he
could twist how he liked not acting with precipat precipitancy with
equal candour the greatest earthly happiness answer to a gentlemans
proposal affirmatively my goodness theres nothing else its all very
fine for them but as for being a woman as soon as youre old they might
as well throw you out in the bottom of the ashpit.
Mulveys was the first when I was in bed that morning and Mrs Rubio
brought it in with the coffee she stood there standing when I asked her
to hand me and I pointing at them I couldnt think of the word a hairpin
to open it with ah horquilla disobliging old thing and it staring her
in the face with her switch of false hair on her and vain about her
appearance ugly as she was near 80 or a 100 her face a mass of wrinkles
with all her religion domineering because she never could get over the
Atlantic fleet coming in half the ships of the world and the Union Jack
flying with all her carabineros because 4 drunken English sailors took
all the rock from them and because I didnt run into mass often enough
in Santa Maria to please her with her shawl up on her except when there
was a marriage on with all her miracles of the saints and her black
blessed virgin with the silver dress and the sun dancing 3 times on
Easter Sunday morning and when the priest was going by with the bell
bringing the vatican to the dying blessing herself for his Majestad an
admirer he signed it I near jumped out of my skin I wanted to pick him
up when I saw him following me along the Calle Real in the shop window
then he tipped me just in passing but I never thought hed write making
an appointment I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it
up in every hole and corner while father was up at the drill
instructing to find out by the handwriting or the language of stamps
singing I remember shall I wear a white rose and I wanted to put on the
old stupid clock to near the time he was the first man kissed me under
the Moorish wall my sweetheart when a boy it never entered my head what
kissing meant till he put his tongue in my mouth his mouth was
sweetlike young I put my knee up to him a few times to learn the way
what did I tell him I was engaged for for fun to the son of a Spanish
nobleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he believed me that I was to
be married to him in 3 years time theres many a true word spoken in
jest there is a flower that bloometh a few things I told him true about
myself just for him to be imagining the Spanish girls he didnt like I
suppose one of them wouldnt have him I got him excited he crushed all
the flowers on my bosom he brought me he couldnt count the pesetas and
the perragordas till I taught him Cappoquin he came from he said on the
black water but it was too short then the day before he left May yes it
was May when the infant king of Spain was born Im always like that in
the spring Id like a new fellow every year up on the tiptop under the
rockgun near OHaras tower I told him it was struck by lightning and all
about the old Barbary apes they sent to Clapham without a tail
careering all over the show on each others back Mrs Rubio said she was
a regular old rock scorpion robbing the chickens out of Inces farm and
throw stones at you if you went anear he was looking at me I had that
white blouse on open in the front to encourage him as much as I could
without too openly they were just beginning to be plump I said I was
tired we lay over the firtree cove a wild place I suppose it must be
the highest rock in existence the galleries and casemates and those
frightful rocks and Saint Michaels cave with the icicles or whatever
they call them hanging down and ladders all the mud plotching my boots
Im sure thats the way down the monkeys go under the sea to Africa when
they die the ships out far like chips that was the Malta boat passing
yes the sea and the sky you could do what you liked lie there for ever
he caressed them outside they love doing that its the roundness there I
was leaning over him with my white ricestraw hat to take the newness
out of it the left side of my face the best my blouse open for his last
day transparent kind of shirt he had I could see his chest pink he
wanted to touch mine with his for a moment but I wouldnt let him he was
awfully put out first for fear you never know consumption or leave me
with a child embarazada that old servant Ines told me that one drop
even if it got into you at all after I tried with the Banana but I was
afraid it might break and get lost up in me somewhere because they once
took something down out of a woman that was up there for years covered
with limesalts theyre all mad to get in there where they come out of
youd think they could never go far enough up and then theyre done with
you in a way till the next time yes because theres a wonderful feeling
there so tender all the time how did we finish it off yes O yes I
pulled him off into my handkerchief pretending not to be excited but I
opened my legs I wouldnt let him touch me inside my petticoat because I
had a skirt opening up the side I tormented the life out of him first
tickling him I loved rousing that dog in the hotel rrrsssstt
awokwokawok his eyes shut and a bird flying below us he was shy all the
same I liked him like that moaning I made him blush a little when I got
over him that way when I unbuttoned him and took his out and drew back
the skin it had a kind of eye in it theyre all Buttons men down the
middle on the wrong side of them Molly darling he called me what was
his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it yes I think a lieutenant he was
rather fair he had a laughing kind of a voice so I went round to the
whatyoucallit everything was whatyoucallit moustache had he he said hed
come back Lord its just like yesterday to me and if I was married hed
do it to me and I promised him yes faithfully Id let him block me now
flying perhaps hes dead or killed or a captain or admiral its nearly 20
years if I said firtree cove he would if he came up behind me and put
his hands over my eyes to guess who I might recognise him hes young
still about 40 perhaps hes married some girl on the black water and is
quite changed they all do they havent half the character a woman has
she little knows what I did with her beloved husband before he ever
dreamt of her in broad daylight too in the sight of the whole world you
might say they could have put an article about it in the Chronicle I
was a bit wild after when I blew out the old bag the biscuits were in
from Benady Bros and exploded it Lord what a bang all the woodcocks and
pigeons screaming coming back the same way that we went over middle
hill round by the old guardhouse and the jews burialplace pretending to
read out the Hebrew on them I wanted to fire his pistol he said he
hadnt one he didnt know what to make of me with his peak cap on that he
always wore crooked as often as I settled it straight H M S Calypso
swinging my hat that old Bishop that spoke off the altar his long
preach about womans higher functions about girls now riding the bicycle
and wearing peak caps and the new woman bloomers God send him sense and
me more money I suppose theyre called after him I never thought that
would be my name Bloom when I used to write it in print to see how it
looked on a visiting card or practising for the butcher and oblige M
Bloom youre looking blooming Josie used to say after I married him well
its better than Breen or Briggs does brig or those awful names with
bottom in them Mrs Ramsbottom or some other kind of a bottom Mulvey I
wouldnt go mad about either or suppose I divorced him Mrs Boylan my
mother whoever she was might have given me a nicer name the Lord knows
after the lovely one she had Lunita Laredo the fun we had running along
Williss road to Europa point twisting in and out all round the other
side of Jersey they were shaking and dancing about in my blouse like
Millys little ones now when she runs up the stairs I loved looking down
at them I was jumping up at the pepper trees and the white poplars
pulling the leaves off and throwing them at him he went to India he was
to write the voyages those men have to make to the ends of the world
and back its the least they might get a squeeze or two at a woman while
they can going out to be drowned or blown up somewhere I went up
Windmill hill to the flats that Sunday morning with captain Rubios that