Ulysses
not to ruin her hands I noticed he was always talking to her lately at
the table explaining things in the paper and she pretending to
understand sly of course that comes from his side of the house he cant
say I pretend things can he Im too honest as a matter of fact and
helping her into her coat but if there was anything wrong with her its
me shed tell not him I suppose he thinks Im finished out and laid on
the shelf well Im not no nor anything like it well see well see now
shes well on for flirting too with Tom Devans two sons imitating me
whistling with those romps of Murray girls calling for her can Milly
come out please shes in great demand to pick what they can out of her
round in Nelson street riding Harry Devans bicycle at night its as well
he sent her where she is she was just getting out of bounds wanting to
go on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I
smelt it off her dress when I was biting off the thread of the button I
sewed on to the bottom of her jacket she couldnt hide much from me I
tell you only I oughtnt to have stitched it and it on her it brings a
parting and the last plumpudding too split in 2 halves see it comes out
no matter what they say her tongue is a bit too long for my taste your
blouse is open too low she says to me the pan calling the kettle
blackbottom and I had to tell her not to cock her legs up like that on
show on the windowsill before all the people passing they all look at
her like me when I was her age of course any old rag looks well on you
then a great touchmenot too in her own way at the Only Way in the
Theatre royal take your foot away out of that I hate people touching me
afraid of her life Id crush her skirt with the pleats a lot of that
touching must go on in theatres in the crush in the dark theyre always
trying to wiggle up to you that fellow in the pit at the Gaiety for
Beerbohm Tree in Trilby the last time Ill ever go there to be squashed
like that for any Trilby or her barebum every two minutes tipping me
there and looking away hes a bit daft I think I saw him after trying to
get near two stylishdressed ladies outside Switzers window at the same
little game I recognised him on the moment the face and everything but
he didnt remember me yes and she didnt even want me to kiss her at the
Broadstone going away well I hope shell get someone to dance attendance
on her the way I did when she was down with the mumps and her glands
swollen wheres this and wheres that of course she cant feel anything
deep yet I never came properly till I was what 22 or so it went into
the wrong place always only the usual girls nonsense and giggling that
Conny Connolly writing to her in white ink on black paper sealed with
sealingwax though she clapped when the curtain came down because he
looked so handsome then we had Martin Harvey for breakfast dinner and
supper I thought to myself afterwards it must be real love if a man
gives up his life for her that way for nothing I suppose there are a
few men like that left its hard to believe in it though unless it
really happened to me the majority of them with not a particle of love
in their natures to find two people like that nowadays full up of each
other that would feel the same way as you do theyre usually a bit
foolish in the head his father must have been a bit queer to go and
poison himself after her still poor old man I suppose he felt lost shes
always making love to my things too the few old rags I have wanting to
put her hair up at 15 my powder too only ruin her skin on her shes time
enough for that all her life after of course shes restless knowing shes
pretty with her lips so red a pity they wont stay that way I was too
but theres no use going to the fair with the thing answering me like a
fishwoman when I asked to go for a half a stone of potatoes the day we
met Mrs Joe Gallaher at the trottingmatches and she pretended not to
see us in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent grand enough
till I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the ear for herself take that
now for answering me like that and that for your impudence she had me
that exasperated of course contradicting I was badtempered too because
how was it there was a weed in the tea or I didnt sleep the night
before cheese I ate was it and I told her over and over again not to
leave knives crossed like that because she has nobody to command her as
she said herself well if he doesnt correct her faith I will that was
the last time she turned on the teartap I was just like that myself
they darent order me about the place its his fault of course having the
two of us slaving here instead of getting in a woman long ago am I ever
going to have a proper servant again of course then shed see him coming
Id have to let her know or shed revenge it arent they a nuisance that
old Mrs Fleming you have to be walking round after her putting the
things into her hands sneezing and farting into the pots well of course
shes old she cant help it a good job I found that rotten old smelly
dishcloth that got lost behind the dresser I knew there was something
and opened the area window to let out the smell bringing in his friends
to entertain them like the night he walked home with a dog if you
please that might have been mad especially Simon Dedalus son his father
such a criticiser with his glasses up with his tall hat on him at the
cricket match and a great big hole in his sock one thing laughing at
the other and his son that got all those prizes for whatever he won
them in the intermediate imagine climbing over the railings if anybody
saw him that knew us I wonder he didnt tear a big hole in his grand
funeral trousers as if the one nature gave wasnt enough for anybody
hawking him down into the dirty old kitchen now is he right in his head
I ask pity it wasnt washing day my old pair of drawers might have been
hanging up too on the line on exhibition for all hed ever care with the
ironmould mark the stupid old bundle burned on them he might think was
something else and she never even rendered down the fat I told her and
now shes going such as she was on account of her paralysed husband
getting worse theres always something wrong with them disease or they
have to go under an operation or if its not that its drink and he beats
her Ill have to hunt around again for someone every day I get up theres
some new thing on sweet God sweet God well when Im stretched out dead
in my grave I suppose Ill have some peace I want to get up a minute if
Im let wait O Jesus wait yes that thing has come on me yes now wouldnt
that afflict you of course all the poking and rooting and ploughing he
had up in me now what am I to do Friday Saturday Sunday wouldnt that
pester the soul out of a body unless he likes it some men do God knows
theres always something wrong with us 5 days every 3 or 4 weeks usual
monthly auction isnt it simply sickening that night it came on me like
that the one and only time we were in a box that Michael Gunn gave him
to see Mrs Kendal and her husband at the Gaiety something he did about
insurance for him in Drimmies I was fit to be tied though I wouldnt
give in with that gentleman of fashion staring down at me with his
glasses and him the other side of me talking about Spinoza and his soul
thats dead I suppose millions of years ago I smiled the best I could
all in a swamp leaning forward as if I was interested having to sit it
out then to the last tag I wont forget that wife of Scarli in a hurry
supposed to be a fast play about adultery that idiot in the gallery
hissing the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose he went and had a
woman in the next lane running round all the back ways after to make up
for it I wish he had what I had then hed boo I bet the cat itself is
better off than us have we too much blood up in us or what O patience
above its pouring out of me like the sea anyhow he didnt make me
pregnant as big as he is I dont want to ruin the clean sheets I just
put on I suppose the clean linen I wore brought it on too damn it damn
it and they always want to see a stain on the bed to know youre a
virgin for them all thats troubling them theyre such fools too you
could be a widow or divorced 40 times over a daub of red ink would do
or blackberry juice no thats too purply O Jamesy let me up out of this
pooh sweets of sin whoever suggested that business for women what
between clothes and cooking and children this damned old bed too
jingling like the dickens I suppose they could hear us away over the
other side of the park till I suggested to put the quilt on the floor
with the pillow under my bottom I wonder is it nicer in the day I think
it is easy I think Ill cut all this hair off me there scalding me I
might look like a young girl wouldnt he get the great suckin the next
time he turned up my clothes on me Id give anything to see his face
wheres the chamber gone easy Ive a holy horror of its breaking under me
after that old commode I wonder was I too heavy sitting on his knee I
made him sit on the easychair purposely when I took off only my blouse
and skirt first in the other room he was so busy where he oughtnt to be
he never felt me I hope my breath was sweet after those kissing comfits
easy God I remember one time I could scout it out straight whistling
like a man almost easy O Lord how noisy I hope theyre bubbles on it for
a wad of money from some fellow Ill have to perfume it in the morning
dont forget I bet he never saw a better pair of thighs than that look
how white they are the smoothest place is right there between this bit
here how soft like a peach easy God I wouldnt mind being a man and get
up on a lovely woman O Lord what a row youre making like the jersey
lily easy easy O how the waters come down at Lahore
who knows is there anything the matter with my insides or have I
something growing in me getting that thing like that every week when
was it last I Whit Monday yes its only about 3 weeks I ought to go to
the doctor only it would be like before I married him when I had that
white thing coming from me and Floey made me go to that dry old stick
Dr Collins for womens diseases on Pembroke road your vagina he called
it I suppose thats how he got all the gilt mirrors and carpets getting
round those rich ones off Stephens green running up to him for every
little fiddlefaddle her vagina and her cochinchina theyve money of
course so theyre all right I wouldnt marry him not if he was the last
man in the world besides theres something queer about their children
always smelling around those filthy bitches all sides asking me if what
I did had an offensive odour what did he want me to do but the one
thing gold maybe what a question if I smathered it all over his wrinkly
old face for him with all my compriments I suppose hed know then and
could you pass it easily pass what I thought he was talking about the
rock of Gibraltar the way he put it thats a very nice invention too by
the way only I like letting myself down after in the hole as far as I
can squeeze and pull the chain then to flush it nice cool pins and
needles still theres something in it I suppose I always used to know by
Millys when she was a child whether she had worms or not still all the
same paying him for that how much is that doctor one guinea please and
asking me had I frequent omissions where do those old fellows get all
the words they have omissions with his shortsighted eyes on me cocked
sideways I wouldnt trust him too far to give me chloroform or God knows
what else still I liked him when he sat down to write the thing out
frowning so severe his nose intelligent like that you be damned you
lying strap O anything no matter who except an idiot he was clever
enough to spot that of course that was all thinking of him and his mad