Ulysses
crazy letters my Precious one everything connected with your glorious
Body everything underlined that comes from it is a thing of beauty and
of joy for ever something he got out of some nonsensical book that he
had me always at myself 4 and 5 times a day sometimes and I said I
hadnt are you sure O yes I said I am quite sure in a way that shut him
up I knew what was coming next only natural weakness it was he excited
me I dont know how the first night ever we met when I was living in
Rehoboth terrace we stood staring at one another for about 10 minutes
as if we met somewhere I suppose on account of my being jewess looking
after my mother he used to amuse me the things he said with the half
sloothering smile on him and all the Doyles said he was going to stand
for a member of Parliament O wasnt I the born fool to believe all his
blather about home rule and the land league sending me that long strool
of a song out of the Huguenots to sing in French to be more classy O
beau pays de la Touraine that I never even sang once explaining and
rigmaroling about religion and persecution he wont let you enjoy
anything naturally then might he as a great favour the very 1st
opportunity he got a chance in Brighton square running into my bedroom
pretending the ink got on his hands to wash it off with the Albion milk
and sulphur soap I used to use and the gelatine still round it O I
laughed myself sick at him that day I better not make an alnight
sitting on this affair they ought to make chambers a natural size so
that a woman could sit on it properly he kneels down to do it I suppose
there isnt in all creation another man with the habits he has look at
the way hes sleeping at the foot of the bed how can he without a hard
bolster its well he doesnt kick or he might knock out all my teeth
breathing with his hand on his nose like that Indian god he took me to
show one wet Sunday in the museum in Kildare street all yellow in a
pinafore lying on his side on his hand with his ten toes sticking out
that he said was a bigger religion than the jews and Our Lords both put
together all over Asia imitating him as hes always imitating everybody
I suppose he used to sleep at the foot of the bed too with his big
square feet up in his wifes mouth damn this stinking thing anyway
wheres this those napkins are ah yes I know I hope the old press doesnt
creak ah I knew it would hes sleeping hard had a good time somewhere
still she must have given him great value for his money of course he
has to pay for it from her O this nuisance of a thing I hope theyll
have something better for us in the other world tying ourselves up God
help us thats all right for tonight now the lumpy old jingly bed always
reminds me of old Cohen I suppose he scratched himself in it often
enough and he thinks father bought it from Lord Napier that I used to
admire when I was a little girl because I told him easy piano O I like
my bed God here we are as bad as ever after 16 years how many houses
were we in at all Raymond terrace and Ontario terrace and Lombard
street and Holles street and he goes about whistling every time were on
the run again his huguenots or the frogs march pretending to help the
men with our 4 sticks of furniture and then the City Arms hotel worse
and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the landing always
somebody inside praying then leaving all their stinks after them always
know who was in there last every time were just getting on right
something happens or he puts his big foot in it Thoms and Helys and Mr
Cuffes and Drimmies either hes going to be run into prison over his old
lottery tickets that was to be all our salvations or he goes and gives
impudence well have him coming home with the sack soon out of the
Freeman too like the rest on account of those Sinner Fein or the
freemasons then well see if the little man he showed me dribbling along
in the wet all by himself round by Coadys lane will give him much
consolation that he says is so capable and sincerely Irish he is indeed
judging by the sincerity of the trousers I saw on him wait theres
Georges church bells wait 3 quarters the hour wait two oclock well
thats a nice hour of the night for him to be coming home at to anybody
climbing down into the area if anybody saw him Ill knock him off that
little habit tomorrow first Ill look at his shirt to see or Ill see if
he has that French letter still in his pocketbook I suppose he thinks I
dont know deceitful men all their 20 pockets arent enough for their
lies then why should we tell them even if its the truth they dont
believe you then tucked up in bed like those babies in the Aristocrats
Masterpiece he brought me another time as if we hadnt enough of that in
real life without some old Aristocrat or whatever his name is
disgusting you more with those rotten pictures children with two heads
and no legs thats the kind of villainy theyre always dreaming about
with not another thing in their empty heads they ought to get slow
poison the half of them then tea and toast for him buttered on both
sides and newlaid eggs I suppose Im nothing any more when I wouldnt let
him lick me in Holles street one night man man tyrant as ever for the
one thing he slept on the floor half the night naked the way the jews
used when somebody dies belonged to them and wouldnt eat any breakfast
or speak a word wanting to be petted so I thought I stood out enough
for one time and let him he does it all wrong too thinking only of his
own pleasure his tongue is too flat or I dont know what he forgets that
wethen I dont Ill make him do it again if he doesnt mind himself and
lock him down to sleep in the coalcellar with the blackbeetles I wonder
was it her Josie off her head with my castoffs hes such a born liar too
no hed never have the courage with a married woman thats why he wants
me and Boylan though as for her Denis as she calls him that
forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt call him a husband yes its some
little bitch hes got in with even when I was with him with Milly at the
College races that Hornblower with the childs bonnet on the top of his
nob let us into by the back way he was throwing his sheeps eyes at
those two doing skirt duty up and down I tried to wink at him first no
use of course and thats the way his money goes this is the fruits of Mr
Paddy Dignam yes they were all in great style at the grand funeral in
the paper Boylan brought in if they saw a real officers funeral thatd
be something reversed arms muffled drums the poor horse walking behind
in black L Boom and Tom Kernan that drunken little barrelly man that
bit his tongue off falling down the mens W C drunk in some place or
other and Martin Cunningham and the two Dedaluses and Fanny MCoys
husband white head of cabbage skinny thing with a turn in her eye
trying to sing my songs shed want to be born all over again and her old
green dress with the lowneck as she cant attract them any other way
like dabbling on a rainy day I see it all now plainly and they call
that friendship killing and then burying one another and they all with
their wives and families at home more especially Jack Power keeping
that barmaid he does of course his wife is always sick or going to be
sick or just getting better of it and hes a goodlooking man still
though hes getting a bit grey over the ears theyre a nice lot all of
them well theyre not going to get my husband again into their clutches
if I can help it making fun of him then behind his back I know well
when he goes on with his idiotics because he has sense enough not to
squander every penny piece he earns down their gullets and looks after
his wife and family goodfornothings poor Paddy Dignam all the same Im
sorry in a way for him what are his wife and 5 children going to do
unless he was insured comical little teetotum always stuck up in some
pub corner and her or her son waiting Bill Bailey wont you please come
home her widows weeds wont improve her appearance theyre awfully
becoming though if youre goodlooking what men wasnt he yes he was at
the Glencree dinner and Ben Dollard base barreltone the night he
borrowed the swallowtail to sing out of in Holles street squeezed and
squashed into them and grinning all over his big Dolly face like a
wellwhipped childs botty didnt he look a balmy ballocks sure enough
that must have been a spectacle on the stage imagine paying 5/- in the
preserved seats for that to see him trotting off in his trowlers and
Simon Dedalus too he was always turning up half screwed singing the
second verse first the old love is the new was one of his so sweetly
sang the maiden on the hawthorn bough he was always on for flirtyfying
too when I sang Maritana with him at Freddy Mayers private opera he had
a delicious glorious voice Phoebe dearest goodbye sweetheart
_sweet_heart he always sang it not like Bartell DArcy sweet _tart_
goodbye of course he had the gift of the voice so there was no art in
it all over you like a warm showerbath O Maritana wildwood flower we
sang splendidly though it was a bit too high for my register even
transposed and he was married at the time to May Goulding but then hed
say or do something to knock the good out of it hes a widower now I
wonder what sort is his son he says hes an author and going to be a
university professor of Italian and Im to take lessons what is he
driving at now showing him my photo its not good of me I ought to have
got it taken in drapery that never looks out of fashion still I look
young in it I wonder he didnt make him a present of it altogether and
me too after all why not I saw him driving down to the Kingsbridge
station with his father and mother I was in mourning thats 11 years ago
now yes hed be 11 though what was the good in going into mourning for
what was neither one thing nor the other the first cry was enough for
me I heard the deathwatch too ticking in the wall of course he insisted
hed go into mourning for the cat I suppose hes a man now by this time
he was an innocent boy then and a darling little fellow in his lord
Fauntleroy suit and curly hair like a prince on the stage when I saw
him at Mat Dillons he liked me too I remember they all do wait by God
yes wait yes hold on he was on the cards this morning when I laid out
the deck union with a young stranger neither dark nor fair you met
before I thought it meant him but hes no chicken nor a stranger either
besides my face was turned the other way what was the 7th card after
that the 10 of spades for a journey by land then there was a letter on
its way and scandals too the 3 queens and the 8 of diamonds for a rise
in society yes wait it all came out and 2 red 8s for new garments look
at that and didnt I dream something too yes there was something about
poetry in it I hope he hasnt long greasy hair hanging into his eyes or
standing up like a red Indian what do they go about like that for only
getting themselves and their poetry laughed at I always liked poetry
when I was a girl first I thought he was a poet like lord Byron and not
an ounce of it in his composition I thought he was quite different I
wonder is he too young hes about wait 88 I was married 88 Milly is 15
yesterday 89 what age was he then at Dillons 5 or 6 about 88 I suppose
hes 20 or more Im not too old for him if hes 23 or 24 I hope hes not
that stuckup university student sort no otherwise he wouldnt go sitting
down in the old kitchen with him taking Eppss cocoa and talking of
course he pretended to understand it all probably he told him he was
out of Trinity college hes very young to be a professor I hope hes not
a professor like Goodwin was he was a potent professor of John Jameson
they all write about some woman in their poetry well I suppose he wont
find many like me where softly sighs of love the light guitar where