Wit and Wisdom of Don Quixote
already paid me. I have no witnesses to the loan, nor has he of the
payment which he pretends to have made, but which I deny; yet if he will
swear before your worship that he has returned the money, I from this
minute acquit him before God and the world."
"What say you to this, old gentleman?" quoth Sancho.
"I confess, my lord," replied the old fellow, "that he did lend me the
money, and if your worship pleases to hold down your wand of justice,
since he leaves it to my oath, I will swear I have really and truly
returned it to him."
The governor accordingly held down his wand, and the old fellow, seeming
encumbered with his staff, gave it to his creditor to hold while he was
swearing; and then taking hold of the cross of the wand, he said it was
true indeed the other had lent him ten crowns, but that he had restored
them to him into his own hand; but having, he supposed, forgotten it, he
was continually dunning him for them. Upon which his lordship the
governor demanded of the creditor what he had to say in reply to the
solemn declaration he had heard. He said that he submitted, and could
not doubt but that his debtor had sworn the truth; for he believed him
to be an honest man and a good Christian; and that, as the fault must
have been in his own memory, he would thenceforward ask him no more for
his money. The debtor now took his staff again, and bowing to the
governor, went out of court.
Sancho having observed the defendant take his staff and walk away, and
noticing also the resignation of the plaintiff, he began to meditate,
and laying the fore-finger of his right hand upon his forehead, he
continued a short time apparently full of thought; and then raising his
head, he ordered the old man with the staff to be called back; and when
he had returned, "Honest friend," said the governor, "give me that
staff, for I have occasion for it."
"With all my heart," answered the old fellow; and delivered it into his
hand. Sancho took it, and giving it to the other old man, said: "Go
about your business, in God's name, for you are paid." "I, my lord,"
answered the old man; "what! is this cane worth ten golden crowns?"
"Yes," quoth the governor, "or I am the greatest dunce in the world! and
now it shall appear whether I have a head to govern a whole kingdom."
Straight he commanded the cane to be broken before them all. Which being
done there were found in the hollow of it ten crowns in gold.
All were struck with admiration, and took their new governor for a
second Solomon. They asked him, whence he had collected that the ten
crowns were in the cane. He answered, that upon seeing the old man give
it his adversary, while he was taking the oath, and swearing that he
had really and truly restored them into his own hands, and, when he had
done, ask for it again, it came into his imagination, the money in
dispute must be in the hollow of the cane. Whence it may be gathered,
that, God Almighty often directs the judgment of those who govern,
though otherwise mere blockheads: besides, he had heard the priest of
his parish tell a like case; and, were it not that he was so unlucky as
to forget all he had a mind to remember, his memory was so good, there
would not have been a better in the whole island.
At length, both the old men marched off, the one ashamed, and the other
satisfied; the bystanders were surprised, and the secretary, who minuted
down the words, actions, and behavior of Sancho Panza, could not
determine with himself, whether he should set him down for a wise man or
a fool. All the court were in admiration at the acuteness and wisdom of
their new governor; all of whose sentences and decrees, being noted down
by the appointed historiographer, were immediately transmitted to the
duke, who waited for these accounts with the utmost impatience.
We see that governors, though otherwise fools, are sometimes
directed in their decisions by the hand of God.
Time is ever moving; nothing ever can impede his course.
An understanding in the beginning is often an effectual cure
for those who are indiscreetly in love.
At eleven o'clock Don Quixote retired to his apartment, and finding a
lute there, he tuned it, opened the window, and, perceiving there was
somebody walking in the garden, he ran over the strings of the
instrument; and, having tuned it again as nicely as he could, he coughed
and cleared his throat; and then, with a voice somewhat hoarse, yet not
unmusical, he sang the following song, which he had composed himself
that very day:--
THE ADVICE.
MATTEAUX'S TRANSLATION.
Love, a strong, designing foe.
Careless hearts with ease deceives;
Can thy breast resist his blow,
Which your sloth unguarded leaves?
If you're idle you're destroyed,
All his art on you he tries;
But be watchful and employed,
Straight the baffled tempter flies.
Maids for modest grace admired,
If they would their fortunes raise,
Must in silence live retired:
'Tis their virtue speaks their praise.
The divine Tobosan fair,
Dulcinea, claims me whole;
Nothing can her image tear!
'Tis one substance with my soul.
Then let fortune smile or frown,
Nothing shall my faith remove;
Constant truth, the lover's crown,
Can work miracles in love.
THE SAME AS TRANSLATED BY SMOLLETT.
Love, with idleness combined,
Will unhinge the tender mind:
But to few, to work and move,
Will exclude the force of love.
Blooming maids that would be married,
Must in virtue be unwearied;
Modesty a dower will raise,
And be a trumpet of their praise.
A cavalier will sport and play
With a damsel frank and gay;
But, when wedlock is his aim,
Choose a maid of sober fame.
Passion kindled in the breast,
By a stranger or a guest,
Enters with the rising sun,
And fleets before his race be run:
Love that comes so suddenly,
Ever on the wing to fly,
Neither can nor will impart
Strong impressions to the heart.
Pictures drawn on pictures, show
Strange confusion to the view:
Second beauty finds no base,
Where a first has taken place:
Then Dulcinea still shall reign
Without a rival or a stain;
Nor shall fate itself control
Her sway, or blot her from my soul:
Constancy, the lover's boast,
I'll maintain whate'er it cost:
This, my virtue will refine;
This will stamp my joys divine.
THE SAME AS TRANSLATED BY JARVIS.
Love, with idleness is friend,
O'er a maiden gains its end:
But let business and employment
Fill up every careful moment;
These an antidote will prove
'Gainst the pois'nous arts of love.
Maidens that aspire to marry,
In their looks reserve should carry:
Modesty their price should raise,
And be the herald of their praise.
Knights, whom toils of arms employ,
With the free may laugh and toy;
But the modest only, choose
When they tie the nuptial noose.
Love that rises with the sun,
With his setting beams is gone:
Love that guest-like visits hearts,
When the banquet's o'er, departs:
And the love that comes to-day,
And to-morrow wings its way,
Leaves no traces on the soul,
Its affections to control.
Where a sovereign beauty reigns,
Fruitless are a rival's pains,--
O'er a finished picture who
E'er a second picture drew?
Fair Dulcinea, queen of beauty,
Rules my heart, and claims its duty,
Nothing there can take her place,
Naught her image can erase.
Whether fortune smile or frown,
Constancy 's the lover's crown;
And, its force divine to prove,
Miracles performs in love.
THE GOVERNOR IN A RAGE.
The history relates that Sancho Panza was conducted from the court of
justice to a sumptuous palace, where in a great hall he found a
magnificent entertainment prepared. He had no sooner entered than his
ears were saluted by the sound of many instruments, and four pages
served him with water to wash his hands, which the governor received
with becoming gravity. The music having ceased, Sancho now sat down to
dinner in a chair of state placed at the upper end of the table, for
there was but one seat and only one plate and napkin. A personage, who,
as it afterwards appeared, was a physician, took his stand at one side
of his chair with a whalebone rod in his hand. They then removed the
beautiful white cloth, which covered a variety of fruits and other
eatables. Grace was said by one in a student's dress, and a laced bib
was placed by a page under Sancho's chin. Another, who performed the
office of sewer, now set a plate of fruit before him; but he had
scarcely tasted it, when, on being touched by the wand-bearer, it was
snatched away, and another containing meat instantly supplied its place.
Yet before Sancho could make a beginning it vanished, like the former,
on a signal of the wand.
The governor was surprised at this proceeding, and looking around him,
asked if this dinner was only to show off their sleight of hand.
"My lord," said the wand-bearer, "your lordship's food must here be
watched with the same care as is customary with the governors of other
islands. I am a doctor of physic, sir, and my duty, for which I receive
a salary, is to watch over the governor's health, whereof I am more
careful than of my own. I study his constitution night and day, that I
may know how to restore him when sick; and therefore think it incumbent
on me to pay especial regard to his meals, at which I constantly
preside, to see that he eats what is good and salutary, and prevent his
touching whatever I imagine may be prejudicial to his health or
offensive to his stomach. It was for that reason, my lord," continued
he, "I ordered the dish of fruit to be taken away, as being too watery,
and that other dish, as being too hot and over-seasoned with spices,
which are apt to provoke thirst; and he that drinks much destroys and
consumes the radical moisture, which is the fuel of life."
"Well, then," quoth Sancho, "that plate of roasted partridges, which
seem to me to be very well seasoned, I suppose will do me no manner of
harm?"
"Hold," said the doctor, "my lord governor shall not eat them while I
live to prevent it."
"Pray, why not?" quoth Sancho.
"Because," answered the doctor, "our great master Hippocrates, the north
star and luminary of medicine, says in one of his aphorisms, _Omnis
saturatio mala, perdicis autem pessima_; which means, 'All repletion is
bad, but that from partridges the worst.'"
"If it be so," quoth Sancho, "pray cast your eye, signor doctor, over
all these dishes here on the table, and see which will do me the most
good or the least harm, and let me eat of it without whisking it away
with your conjuring-stick; for, by my soul, and as Heaven shall give me
life to enjoy this government, I am dying with hunger; and to deny me
food--let signor doctor say what he will--is not the way to lengthen my
life, but to cut it short."
"Your worship is in the right, my lord governor," answered the
physician, "and therefore I am of opinion you should not eat of these
stewed rabbits, as being a food that is tough and acute; of that veal,
indeed, you might have taken a little, had it been neither roasted nor
stewed; but as it is, not a morsel."
"What think you, then," said Sancho, "of that huge dish there, smoking
hot, which I take to be an olla-podrida?--for, among the many things
contained in it, I surely may light upon something both wholesome and
toothsome."
"_Absit!_" quoth the doctor, "far be such a thought from us.
Olla-podrida! there is no worse dish in the world. Leave them to
prebends and rectors of colleges or lusty feeders at country weddings;
but let them not be seen on the tables of governors, where nothing
contrary to health and delicacy should be tolerated. Simple medicines