Wit and Wisdom of Don Quixote
"One thing more I would ask," quoth the peasant, "but I dare not,--yet
out it shall; come what may, it shall not rot in my breast. I say then,
my lord, I could wish your worship to give me three or six hundred
ducats towards mending the fortunes of my bachelor,--I mean, to assist
in furnishing his house; for it is agreed that they shall live by
themselves, without being subject to the impertinences of their
fathers-in-law."
"Well," quoth Sancho, "see if there is anything else you would have, and
be not squeamish in asking."
"No, nothing more," answered the peasant.
The governor then rising, and seizing the chair on which he had been
seated, exclaimed, "I vow to Heaven, Don Lubberly, saucy bumpkin, if you
do not instantly get out of my sight, I will break your head with this
chair! Son of a rascal, and the devil's own painter! At this time of day
to come and ask me for six hundred ducats! Where should I have them,
villain? And if I had them, idiot! why should I give them to thee? What
care I for Miguel Terra, or for the whole race of the Perlerinos?
Begone, I say! or, by the life of my lord duke, I will be as good as my
word. Thou art no native of Miguel Terra, but some scoffer sent from the
devil to tempt me. Impudent scoundrel! I have not yet had the government
a day and a half, and you expect I should have six hundred ducats!"
The sewer made signs to the countryman to go out of the hall, which he
did, hanging down his head, and seemingly much afraid lest the governor
should put his threat into execution,--for the knave knew very well how
to play his part.
But let us leave Sancho in his passion; peace be with him!
The devil will never give you a high nose if a flat nose
will serve your turn.
All is not gold that glitters.
I am fully convinced that judges and governors are, or ought
to be, made of brass, so as that they may not feel the
importunity of people of business, who expect to be heard
and despatched at all hours and at all seasons, come what
will, attending only to their own affairs; and if the poor
devil of a judge does not hear and despatch them, either
because it is not in his power, or it happens to be an
unseasonable time for giving audience, then they grumble and
backbite, gnaw him to the very bones, and even bespatter his
whole generation. Ignorant man of business! foolish man of
business! be not in such a violent hurry; wait for the
proper season and conjuncture, and come not at meals and
sleeping-time; for judges are made of flesh and blood, and
must give to nature that which nature requires.
Good physicians deserve palms and laurels.
Either we are, or we are not.
Walls have ears.
Let us all live and eat together in harmony and good
friendship.
When God sends the morning, the light shines upon all.
Make yourselves honey, and the flies will devour you.
Your idle and lazy people in a commonwealth are like drones
in a beehive, which only devour the honey the laboring bees
gather.
Every day produces something new in the world: jests turn
into earnest, and the biters are bit.
They who expect snacks should be modest, and take cheerfully
whatever is given them, and not haggle with the winners;
unless they know them to be sharpers, and their gains
unfairly gotten.
THE GOVERNOR'S ROUND OF INSPECTION.
After traversing a few streets, they heard the clashing of swords, and,
hastening to the place, they found two men fighting. On seeing the
officers coming they desisted, and one of them said, "Help, in the name
of Heaven and the king! Are people to be attacked here, and robbed in
the open streets?"
"Hold, honest man," quoth Sancho, "and tell me what is the occasion of
this fray; for I am the governor."
His antagonist, interposing, said, "My lord governor, I will briefly
relate the matter:--Your honor must know that this gentleman is just
come from the gaming-house over the way, where he has been winning above
a thousand reals, and heaven knows how, except that I, happening to be
present, was induced, even against my conscience, to give judgment in
his favor in many a doubtful point; and when I expected he would have
given me something, though it were but the small matter of a crown, by
way of present, as it is usual with gentlemen of character like myself,
who stand by, ready to back unreasonable demands, and to prevent
quarrels, up he got, with his pockets filled, and marched out of the
house.
"Surprised and vexed at such conduct, I followed him, civilly reminded
him that he could not refuse me the small sum of eight reals, as he knew
me to be a man of honor, without either office or pension; my parents
having brought me up to nothing: yet this knave, who is as great a thief
as Cacus, and as arrant a sharper as Andradilla, would give me but four
reals! Think, my lord governor, what a shameless and unconscionable
fellow he is! But as I live had it not been for your worship coming, I
would have made him disgorge his winnings, and taught him how to balance
accounts."
"What shall be done," replied Sancho, "is this: you, master winner,
whether by fair play or foul, instantly give your hackster here a
hundred reals, and pay down thirty more for the poor prisoners; and you,
sir, who have neither office nor pension, nor honest employment, take
the hundred reals, and, some time to-morrow, be sure you get out of
this island, nor set foot in it again these ten years, unless you would
finish your banishment in the next life: for if I find you here, I will
make you swing on a gibbet--at least the hangman shall do it for me: so
let no man reply, or he shall repent it."
The decree was immediately executed: the one disbursed, the other
received; the one quitted the island, the other went home.
Cheats are always at the mercy of their accomplices.
The maid that would keep her good name, stays at home as if
she were lame. A hen and a housewife, whatever they cost, if
once they go gadding will surely be lost. And she that longs
to see, I ween, is as desirous to be seen.
Good fortune wants only a beginning.
When they offer thee a government, lay hold of it.
When an earldom is put before thee, lay thy clutches on it.
When they throw thee some beneficial bone, snap at the
favor; if not, sleep on and never answer to good fortune and
preferment when they knock at thy door.
Truth will always rise uppermost, as oil rises above water.
Seeing is believing.
According to reason, each thing has its season.
When justice is doubtful, I should lean to the side of
mercy.
A MESSENGER TO TERESA PANZA.
Being desirous to please his lord and lady, he set off with much glee to
Sancho's village. Having arrived near it, he inquired of some women whom
he saw washing in a brook if there lived not in that town one Teresa
Panza, wife of one Sancho Panza, squire to a knight called Don Quixote
de la Mancha.
"That Teresa Panza is my mother," said a young lass who was washing
among the rest, "and that Sancho my own father, and that knight our
master."
"Are they so?" quoth the page: "come then, my good girl, and lead me to
your mother, for I have a letter and a token for her from that same
father of yours."
"That I will, with all my heart, sir," answered the girl (who seemed to
be about fourteen years of age); and leaving the linen she was washing
to one of her companions, without stopping to cover either her head or
feet, away she ran skipping along before the page's horse, bare-legged,
and her hair dishevelled.
"Come along, sir, an 't please you," quoth she, "for our house stands
hard by, and you will find my mother in trouble enough for being so long
without tidings of my father."
"Well," said the page, "I now bring her news that will cheer her heart,
I warrant her."
So on he went, with his guide running, skipping, and capering before
him, till they reached the village, and, before she got up to the house,
she called out aloud, "Mother, mother, come out! here's a gentleman who
brings letters and other things from my good father."
At these words out came her mother Teresa Panza with a distaff in her
hand--for she was spinning flax. She was clad in a russet petticoat, so
short that it looked as if it had been docked at the placket, with a
jacket of the same, and the sleeves of her under-garment hanging about
it. She appeared to be about forty years of age and was strong, hale,
sinewy, and hard as a hazel-nut.
"What is the matter, girl?" quoth she, seeing her daughter with the
page; "what gentleman is that?"
"It is an humble servant of my Lady Donna Teresa Panza," answered the
page; and throwing himself from his horse, with great respect he went
and kneeled before the Lady Teresa, saying, "Be pleased, Signora Donna
Teresa, to give me your ladyship's hand to kiss, as the lawful wife of
Signor Don Sancho Panza, sole governor of the island of Barataria."
"Alack-a-day, good sir, how you talk!" she replied: "I am no court-dame,
but a poor country woman, daughter of a ploughman, and wife indeed of a
squire-errant, but no governor."
"Your ladyship," answered the page, "is the most worthy wife of a
thrice-worthy governor, and to confirm the truth of what I say, be
pleased, madam, to receive what I here bring you."
He then drew the letter from his pocket, and a string of corals, each
bead set in gold, and, putting it about her neck, he said, "This letter
is from my lord governor, and another that I have here, and those corals
are from my lady duchess, who sends me to your ladyship."
Teresa and her daughter were all astonishment.
"May I die," said the girl, "if our master Don Quixote be not at the
bottom of this--as sure as day he has given my father the government or
earldom he has so often promised him."
"It is even so," answered the page; "and for Signor Don Quixote's sake,
my Lord Sancho is now governor of the island of Barataria, as the letter
will inform you."
"Pray, young gentleman," quoth Teresa, "be pleased to read it; for
though I can spin I cannot read a jot."
"Nor I neither, i' faith," cried Sanchica; "but stay a little, and I
will fetch one who can, either the bachelor Sampson Carrasco or the
priest himself, who will come with all their hearts to hear news of my
father."
"You need not take that trouble," said the page; "for I can read though
I cannot spin, and will read it to you." Which he accordingly did: but
as its contents have already been given, it is not here repeated. He
then produced the letter from the duchess, and read as follows:--
"FRIEND TERESA,--
"Finding your husband Sancho worthy of my esteem for his honesty and
good understanding, I prevailed upon the duke, my spouse, to make him
governor of one of the many islands in his possession. I am informed he
governs like any hawk; at which I and my lord duke are mightily pleased,
and give many thanks to Heaven that I have not been deceived in my
choice, for madam Teresa may be assured that it is no easy matter to
find a good governor--and God make me as good as Sancho governs well. I
have sent you, my dear friend, a string of corals set in gold--I wish
they were oriental pearls; but whoever gives thee a bone has no mind to
see thee dead: the time will come when we shall be better acquainted,
and converse with each other, and then heaven knows what may happen.
Commend me to your daughter Sanchica, and tell her from me to get
herself ready; for I mean to have her highly married when she least
expects it. I am told the acorns near your town are very large--pray
send me some two dozen of them; for I shall value them the more as
coming from your hand. Write to me immediately, to inform me of your