Wit and Wisdom of Don Quixote
fees or anything else; and how it comes to be no better with me I cannot
imagine, for I have heard that the governors who come to this island are
wont to have a very good gift, or at least a very round sum given them
by the town before they enter. And they say, too, that this is the usual
custom, not only here but in other places.
"Last night, in going my rounds, I met with a mighty handsome damsel in
boy's clothes, and a brother of hers in woman's apparel. My
gentleman-waiter fell in love with the girl, and intends to make her
his wife, as he says. As for the youth, I have pitched on him to be my
son-in-law. To-day we both design to talk to the father, one Diego de la
Llana, who is a gentleman, and an old Christian every inch of him.
"I visit the markets as you advised me, and yesterday found one of the
hucksters selling hazel-nuts. She pretended they were all new; but I
found she had mixed a whole bushel of old, empty, rotten nuts among the
same quantity of new. With that I adjudged them to be given to the
hospital boys, who know how to pick the good from the bad, and gave
sentence against her that she should not come into the market for
fifteen days; and people said I did well.
"I am mighty well pleased that my lady duchess has written to my wife,
Teresa Pauza, and sent her the token you mention. It shall go hard but I
will requite her kindness one time or other. Pray give my service to
her, and tell her from me she has not cast her gift in a broken sack, as
something more than words shall show.
"If I might advise you, and had my wish, there should be no falling out
between your worship and my lord and lady; for, if you quarrel with
them, it is I must come by the worst for it. And, since you mind me of
being grateful, it will not look well in you not to be so to those who
have made so much of you at their castle.
"If my wife, Teresa Panza, writes to me, pray pay the postage and send
me the letter; for I have a mighty desire to know how fares it with her,
and my house and children. So Heaven protect your worship from
evil-minded enchanters, and bring me safe and sound out of this
government; which I very much doubt, seeing how I am treated by Doctor
Pedro Rezio.
"Your worship's servant,
"SANCHO PANZA, _the Governor_."
TERESA PANZA'S LETTER TO HER HUSBAND, SANCHO PANZA.
"I received thy letter, dear Sancho of my soul, and I promise and swear
to thee, on the faith of a Catholic Christian, I was within two
finger-breadths of running mad with joy; and take notice, brother, when
I heard thou wast a governor, I had liked to have dropped down dead with
pure pleasure; for thou knowest they say sudden joy kills as well as
deadly sorrow.
"Thy hunting-suit lay before me, the string of corals sent by lady
duchess was tied round my neck, the letters were in my hand, and the
messenger in my presence; and yet I imagined and believed that all I saw
and handled was a dream, for who could conceive that a goatherd should
come to be governor of islands? Thou knowest, my friend, that my mother
said, 'One must live long to see a great deal.' This I mention because I
hope to see more if I live longer, for I do not intend to stop until I
see thee a farmer or collector of the revenue,--offices which, though
they carry those who abuse them to the devil, are, in short, always
bringing in the penny.
"My lady duchess will tell thee how desirous I am of going to court.
Consider of it, and let me know thy pleasure, for I will endeavor to do
thee honor there by riding in my coach.
"The curate, barber, bachelor, and even the sexton, cannot believe thou
art a governor, and say the whole is a deception or matter of
enchantment, like all the affairs of thy master, Don Quixote. Sampson
vows he will go in quest of thee, and drive this government out of thy
head, as well as the madness out of Don Quixote's skull. I say nothing,
but laugh in my own sleeve, look at my beads, and contrive how to make
thy hunting-suit into a gown and petticoat for our daughter. I have sent
some acorns to my lady duchess, and I wish they were of gold. Send me
some strings of pearls, if they are in fashion in thy island.
"The news of our town are these: the widow of the hill has matched her
daughter with a bungling painter, who came here and undertook all sort
of work. The corporation employed him to paint the king's arms over the
gate of the town-house. He asked them two ducats for the job, which they
paid beforehand; so he fell to it and worked eight days, at the end of
which he had made nothing of it, and said he could not bring his hand to
paint such trumpery, and returned the money; yet, for all that, he
married in the name of a good workman. The truth is, he has left his
brushes and taken up the spade, and goes to the field like a gentleman.
Pedro de Lobo's son has taken orders and shaved his crown, meaning to be
a priest. Minguilla, Mingo Silvato's niece, hearing of it, is suing him
upon a promise of marriage. We have had no olives this year, nor is
there a drop of vinegar to be had in all the town. A company of
foot-soldiers passed through here, and carried off with them three
girls. I will not say who they are; mayhap they will return, and
somebody or other marry them, with all their faults. Sanchica makes
bone-lace, and gets eight maravedis a day, which she drops into a
saving-box, to help her toward household stuff; but now that she is a
governor's daughter, she has no need to work, for thou wilt give her a
portion without it. The fountain in our market-place is dried up. A
thunderbolt fell upon the pillory, and there may they all alight! I
expect an answer to this, and about my going to court. And so God grant
thee more years than myself, or as many, for I would not willingly leave
thee behind me.
"Thy wife,
"TERESA PANZA."
To think that the affairs of this life are always to remain in the same
state is an erroneous fancy. The face of things rather seems continually
to change and roll with circular motion; summer succeeds the spring,
autumn the summer, winter the autumn, and then spring again. So time
proceeds in this perpetual round; only the life of man is ever hastening
to its end, swifter than time itself, without hopes to be renewed,
unless in the next, that is unlimited and infinite. For even by the
light of nature and without that of faith, many have discovered the
swiftness and instability of this present being, and the duration of the
eternal life which is expected.
"I know St. Peter is well at Rome," meaning every one does
well to follow the employment to which he was bred.
Let no one stretch his feet beyond the length of his sheet.
When thou art in Rome follow the fashions of Rome.
Sweet is our love of native land.
The prudent man who is expecting to be deprived of his
habitation looks out for another before he is turned out of
doors.
Well-got wealth may meet disaster,
But ill-got wealth destroys its master.
Bread is relief for all kind of grief.
We can bear with patience the ill-luck that comes alone.
Man projects in vain,
For God doth still ordain.
As is the reason,
Such is the season.
Let no man presume to think
Of this cup I will not drink.
Where the flitch we hope to find,
Not even a hook is left behind.
Keep a safe conscience, and let people say what they will.
It is as impracticable to tie up the tongue of malice as to
erect barricades in the open fields.
"If a governor resigns his office in good circumstances, people say he
must have been an oppressor and a knave; and if poverty attends him in
his retreat, they set him down as an idiot and fool."
"For this time," answered Sancho, "I am certain they will think me more
fool than knave."
The great Sancho Panza, the flower and mirror of all island
governors.
A law neglected is the same as if it had never been enacted.
Give always to the cat
What was kept for the rat,
And let it be thy view
All mischief to eschew.
It is fitting that all who receive a benefit should show
themselves grateful, though it be only a trifle.
SONG OF ALTISIDORA.
Stay, cruel knight,
Take not thy flight,
Nor spur thy battered jade;
Thy haste restrain,
Draw in the rein,
And hear a love-sick maid.
Why dost thou fly?
No snake am I,
That poison those I love.
Gentle I am
As any lamb,
And harmless as a dove.
Thy cruel scorn
Has left forlorn
A nymph whose charms may vie
With theirs who sport
In Cynthia's court,
Though Venus' self were by.
Since, fugitive knight, to no purpose I woo thee,
Barabbas's fate still pursue and undo thee!
Like ravenous kite
That takes its flight
Soon as't has stol'n a chicken,
Thou bear'st away
My heart, thy prey,
And leav'st me here to sicken.
Three night-caps, too,
And garters blue,
That did to legs belong
Smooth to the sight
As marble white,
And faith, almost as strong.
Two thousand groans,
As many moans,
And sighs enough to fire
Old Priam's town,
And burn it down,
Did it again aspire.
Since, fugitive knight, to no purpose I woo thee,
Barabbas's fate still pursue and undo thee!
May Sancho ne'er
His buttocks bare
Fly-flap, as is his duty;
And thou still want
To disenchant
Dulcinea's injured beauty.
May still transformed,
And still deformed,
Toboso's nymph remain,
In recompense
Of thy offence,
Thy scorn and cold disdain.
When thou dost wield
Thy sword in field,
In combat, or in quarrel,
Ill-luck and harms
Attend thy arms,
Instead of fame and laurel.
Since, fugitive knight, to no purpose I woo thee,
Barabbas's fate still pursue and undo thee!
May thy disgrace
Fill every place,
Thy falsehood ne'er be hid,
But round the world
Be tossed and hurled,
From Seville to Madrid.
If, brisk and gay,
Thou sitt'st to play
At ombre or at chess,
May ne'er spadille
Attend thy will,
Nor luck thy movements bless.
Though thou with care
Thy corns dost pare,
May blood the penknife follow;
May thy gums rage,
And naught assuage
The pain of tooth that's hollow.
Since, fugitive knight, to no purpose I woo thee,
Barabbas's fate still pursue and undo thee!
Liberty is one of the most precious gifts which Heaven hath
bestowed on man, exceeding all the treasures which earth
encloses, or which ocean hides; and for this blessing, as
well as for honor, we may and ought to venture life itself.
On the other hand, captivity and restraint are the greatest
evils that human nature can endure. I make this observation,
Sancho, because thou hast seen the delicacies and the plenty
with which we were entertained in that castle; yet, in the
midst of those savory banquets and ice-cooled potations, I
thought myself confined within the very straits of famine,
because I did not enjoy the treat with that liberty which I
should have felt had it been my own.
Obligations incurred by benefits and favors received are
fetters which hamper the free-born soul.
Happy is he to whom Heaven hath sent a morsel of bread, for
which he is obliged to none but Heaven itself.
The man in wisdom must be old
Who knows in giving where to hold.
All times are not the same, nor equally fortunate; and those
incidents which the vulgar call omens, though not founded on
any natural reason, have, even by persons of sagacity, been
held and deemed as fair and fortunate. One of these
superstitious omen-mongers rises in the morning, goes
abroad, chances to meet a friar belonging to the beatified
St. Francis; and as if he had encountered a dragon in his