Wood Magic: A Fable
under the orchard.
"And so complete was the resemblance the prince bore to his dead parent,
owing to the loss of his eye and the plucking of his feathers, that for
the most part the courtiers actually believed that it really was the
prince they had buried, and all the common people accepted it without
doubt. One or two who hinted at a suspicion when they were alone with
Kapchack the Second received promises of vast rewards to hold their
tongues; and no sooner had they left his presence than he had them
assassinated. Thus the dynasty was firmly consolidated, just as the dead
founder had desired, though in rather a different manner to what he
expected.
"But the new (or as he appeared the old) king had not been many days on
the throne when he remembered the immense treasure of which his parent
had been possessed. Sending every one away on one pretext and another,
he searched the palace from attic to basement, peeped into all the
drawers his father had used, turned over every document, sounded every
wall, bored holes in the wainscot, ripped up the bark, and covered
himself with dust in his furious endeavours to find it. But though he
did this twenty times, though he examined every hollow tree within ten
miles, and peered into everything, forcing even the owl's ancestor to
expose certain skeletons that were in his cupboard, yet could he never
find it.
"And all the while the greatest difficulty he encountered was to hold
his tongue; he did not dare let out that he was looking for the
treasure, because, of course, everybody thought that he was Kapchack,
the same who had put it away. He had to nip his tongue with his beak
till it bled to compel himself by sheer pain to abstain from reviling
his predecessor. But it was no good, the treasure could not be found. He
gave out that all this searching was to discover an ancient deed or
treaty by which he was entitled to a distant province. As the deed could
not be found (having never existed), he marched his army and took the
province by force. And, will you believe it, my friends, the fact is
that from that time to this (till the hurricane broke the bough the
other day) none of the King Kapchacks have had the least idea where
their treasure was. They have lived upon credit.
"Everybody knew there was a treasure, and as time went on and new
generations arose, it became magnified as the tale was handed down, till
only lately, as you know, the whole world considered that Kapchack
possessed wealth the like of which had never been seen. Thus it happened
that as each succeeding Kapchack got farther and farther away from the
reality and lost all trace of the secret, the fame of these riches
increased. But to return. In course of years this Kapchack also found
himself growing old, and it became his turn to prepare a son and heir
for the throne by pecking out his left eye, and denuding him of his tail
feathers. I need not go into further details; suffice it to say the
thing was managed, and although the old fellows well knew their danger
and took all sorts of precautions, the princes thus mutilated always
contrived to assassinate their parents, and thus that apple-tree has
been the theatre of the most awful series of tragedies the earth has
ever known.
"Down to the last King Kapchack, the thing was always managed
successfully, and he was the sixth who had kept up the deception. But
the number six seems in some way fatal to kings, the sixth always gets
into trouble, and Kapchack VI. proved very unfortunate. For in his time,
as you know, Choo Hoo arose, the kingdom was invaded, and quite half of
it taken from him. Whether he shrank from the risk attending the
initiation of Prince Tchack-tchack (his heir) I do not know, but for
some reason or other he put it off from time to time, till the prince in
fact grew rather too old himself, and too cunning, and getting about
with disreputable companions--that gross old villain Kauc, the crow,
for one--it is just possible that some inkling of the hereditary
mutilation in store for him was insinuated (for his own purposes) by
that vile wretch.
"Still, most likely, even if he had known of it he would have come in
time to submit (so powerful a motive is ambition) rather than lose the
crown, had not it happened that both he and Kapchack fell violently in
love with the beautiful young jay, La Schach. Very naturally and very
excusably, being so young and so beautiful, she was perhaps just a
little capricious. Jealous to the last degree, old King Kapchack told
her the secret, and that he really was not nearly so old as the world
believed him to be--he was the sixth of the race, and not the original
antiquity. No doubt the beauty laughed in her sleeve at him, and just
for fun told Tchack-tchack all about it, and that she would never marry
a one-eyed bird. Kapchack, full of jealousy, bethought him that it was
high time to destroy his heir's good looks, so he attempted to peck out
his left eye in accordance with the usage of the house.
"But Tchack-tchack, having now learnt the secret, vain of his beauty,
and determined to have the lovely jay at any cost, was alive to the
trick, and eluded his parent. This was the reason why Tchack-tchack
towards the last would never go near the palace. Thus it happened that
the hereditary practice was not resorted to, for poor old Kapchack VI.
fell, as you know, in the very hour of victory. Tchack-tchack, who has
both eyes, and the most glossy tail, and a form of the manliest beauty,
is now at this minute chattering all round the copse in a terrible rage,
and quite beside himself, because nobody will vote for him to be king,
especially since through the breaking of the bough the vaunted treasure
is at last revealed and found to consist of a diamond locket and one
silver spoon--a hollow business you see--so that he has no money, while
the beautiful jay has just been united to our friend here--and, goodness
me, here she comes in a flutter!"
CHAPTER XVI.
THE NEW KING.
Up came the lovely young bride, full of news, and told them that the
most extraordinary thing had just happened.
"Whatever is it, my love?" said her husband.
"Quick, whatever is it?" said the squirrel.
"I can't wait," said Bevis.
"Nor I," said the hare.
"Well," said the lovely creature--for whom an empire had been thrown
away--"while the rook council was deliberating about the punishment to
be awarded to Ah Kurroo, the legions, disgusted with the treatment they
had received after so wonderful a victory, have risen in revolt,
overthrown the government, driven the council away, taken the Khan from
the tree where he was a prisoner and proclaimed him dictator!"
"Extraordinary!" said the hare; "the rooks always would have it that
theirs was the most perfect form of government ever known."
"No such rebellion was ever heard of before," said the squirrel, "there
is nothing like it in history; I know, for I've often slipped into the
owl's muniment room (between you and me) on the sly, and taken a peep
at his ancient documents. It is most extraordinary!"
"I can't see it," said the jay; "I don't agree with you; I am not in the
least surprised. I always said they would never get on with so much
caw-cawing and talking every evening; I always said----"
"Gentlemen," shouted the woodpecker, rushing up breathless with haste,
"I am sent round to tell you from the dictator that you can now proceed
to the election of a king without fear of any kind, for he will keep the
enemy employed should they appear, and he will over-awe the two
pretenders, Ki Ki and Kauc. Let every one say what he thinks without
dread, and let there be no bribery and no intimidation. In the name of
Ah Kurroo Khan!" and away he flew through the copse to make the
proclamation.
Immediately afterwards the owl, blundering in the daylight, came past
and said that they had better come on to his house, for he had just had
a private interview with the Khan, and had orders to preside over this
business. So Bevis and the squirrel, the hare and the two jays proceeded
to the pollard-tree; there was no need for Bevis to hide now, because he
was recognised as a great friend of the squirrel's and the enemy of the
weasel. A noisy crowd had already collected, which was augmented every
minute, and there was a good deal of rough pushing and loud talking, not
unmingled with blows. They were all there (except the weasel), the
goldfinch, the tomtit, the chaffinch, the thrush, the blackbird, the
missel-thrush, all of them, jays, the alien pigeons, doves,
woodpeckers, the rat, the mouse, the stoat, and the fox.
As the crowd increased, so did the uproar, till the owl appeared at the
balcony of his mansion, and the woodpecker called for silence. The owl,
when he could get a hearing, said they were all to give their opinions
and say who they would have for their king. And that there might be less
confusion he would call upon the least of them in size and the youngest
in age to speak first, and so on upwards to the oldest and biggest.
"I'm the least," cried the wren, coming forward without a moment's
delay, "and I think that, after all I have seen of the ins and outs of
the world, I myself should make a very good king."
"Indeed you're not the smallest," said Te-te, the tomtit; "I am the
smallest, besides which you are a smuggler. Now I, on the contrary, have
already rendered great services to my country, and I am used to official
life."
"Yes, you spy," cried Tchink, the chaffinch; and all the assembly hissed
Te-te, till he was obliged to give way, as he could not make himself
heard.
"Why not have a queen?" said the goldfinch. "I should think you have had
enough of kings; now, why not have me for queen? I have the richest
dress of all."
"Nothing of the kind," said the yellow-hammer, "I wear cloth of gold
myself."
"As for that," said the woodpecker, "I myself have no little claim on
the score of colour."
"But you have no such azure as me," said the kingfisher.
"Such gaudy hues are in the worst possible taste," said the blackbird,
"and very vulgar. Now, if I were chosen----"
"Well," said the thrush, "well, I never heard anything equal to the
blackbird's assurance; he who has never held the slightest appointment.
Now, my relation was ambassador----"
"I think," said the dove, "I should be able, if I held the position, to
conciliate most parties, and make everything smooth."
"You're much too smooth for me," said Tchink. "It's my belief you're
hand-in-glove with Choo Hoo, for all your tender ways--dear me!"
"If experience," said Cloctaw, "if experience is of any value on a
throne, I think I myself----"
"Experience!" cried the jay, in high disdain, "what is he talking of?
Poor Cloctaw has gone past his prime; however, we must make allowance
for his infirmities. You want some one with a decided opinion like
myself, ladies and gentlemen!"
"If I might speak," began one of the alien wood-pigeons, but they
shouted him down.
"I don't mean to be left out of this business, I can tell you," said the
mole, suddenly thrusting his snout up through the ground; "I consider I
have been too much overlooked. But no election will be valid without my
vote. Now, I can tell you that there's not a fellow living who knows
more than I do."
"Since the throne is vacant," said the mouse, "why should not I be
nominated?"
"I do not like the way things have been managed," said the rat; "there
were too many fine feathers at the court of the late king. Fur must have
a turn now--if I am elected I shall make somebody who wears fur my prime
minister." This was a bold bid for the support of all the four-footed
creatures, and was not without its effect.
"I call that downright bribery," said the jay.
"Listen to me a minute," said Sec, the stoat; but as they were now all