Claribel or, Rest at last
you would not want to sin once more."
"And then Priscilla laughed at me and said I might as well go on now I
had begun. But I don't mean to lay all the blame on her, either, though
I must say I shouldn't have begun if it hadn't been for her. But I
never will read a bad book again—no, not if I was to be shipwrecked in
the middle of the great desert of Sahara," added Fanny, vehemently.
"You would find that rather difficult to accomplish," said Mr. Hausen.
"But, Fanny, what am I to do with you? Nobody can watch you all the
time, and how can I take the responsibility of a girl whom, I cannot
trust?"
"Oh, Mr. Hausen, please don't send me home," pleaded Fanny. "Indeed, I
will never do so again. I know how naughty I have been, but please do
try me a little longer."
"Very well; I will try you a little longer," said Mr. Hausen, after
some consideration; "but you must remember that you are on probation.
You must not ask to go outside the grounds again this term unless one
of the teachers or one of the senior-girls can go with you; you must
not read a single story-book of any kind without first asking Mrs.
Richardson, and you must study all your lessons either in your own room
or the school-room. Remember, these are the conditions. If I find you
disobeying me in one single point, I shall send you home directly."
Priscilla began by denying the whole thing; but when Mr. Hausen
produced the books and papers which had been found in her room, she
changed her tone.
"She didn't know whose business it was what books she read. She came
to school to learn her lessons, and she had learned them. Nobody could
deny that."
"Nobody wishes to deny it, Priscilla; but how has it been about Fanny's
lessons?"
"I am not responsible for Fanny's lessons," answered Priscilla. "She
is a little dunce, anyhow, but I don't see what great harm I have done
her."
"Indeed! I do not agree with you. And what do you say to the harm done
your cousin?"
"I am sorry about Claribel," said Priscilla, with some feeling. "The
poor thing had enough to bear before. I thought when I first came here
that she was setting up to be good and that she felt above me because
she was rich, and I meant to tease her by getting Fanny away, but I am
sorry it has turned out so badly: and I have told her so."
"I am glad to hear it," said Mr. Hausen. "Priscilla, how did you
acquire a taste for such reading?"
"Oh, I don't know. We don't have many books, anyway, and one must read
something."
"But you have had plenty of better books to read since you have been
here."
"Well, to tell you the truth, I don't care one pin for the books the
girls read here," answered Priscilla; "they seem to me so stupid. I
wouldn't give a pin for a story in which somebody isn't killed."
"I dare say not. One of the bad effects of such reading is that it
unfits the mind for any innocent or rational amusement. A man who
accustoms himself to brandy cares nothing for anything less exciting.
But that is not the worst. Every time you read a bad book, you stain
your soul with a mark which cannot be rubbed out. By dwelling on wicked
actions and bad characters you become like them. Even though you may
repent and by God's grace be forgiven, you will find the images in
which you used to delight coming back to haunt and distract you, and
if you do not repent, you make yourself utterly unfit for goodness or
usefulness here and for happiness hereafter."
Priscilla seemed a good deal moved.
"I never thought so very much about it," said she. "Mother never
seemed to care what I read. She never looks at a book herself.
Claribel wouldn't read them, but I thought it was only a piece of her
contrariness."
"Don't you see that what I say is true, Priscilla? You say yourself
that you don't care for a book unless somebody is killed. By and by you
will need even stronger seasoning than murder, and what are you going
to do then? My child, what am I to do with you?"
"I suppose you will have to send me home," answered Priscilla.
"Do you wish to be sent home in disgrace, Priscilla?"
"No, I don't," answered Priscilla. "Mother will feel dreadfully,
because I was sent home that way once before. But, of course, I can't
expect you to keep me."
"Suppose I should let you stay to the end of the term, would you give
me your word to try and do better? Would you give me your word to tell
the truth, obey the rules of the school, and give up this abominable
reading?"
"Why, would you let me stay if I did?" asked Priscilla, in astonishment.
"Yes, I would try you; but you must expect to be more watched and
restrained than the other girls. We can't put the guilty and the
innocent on the same level, you know."
"I am sure you are very good," said Priscilla, with some emotion.
"My child, I have no other wish than your own good, but you know that I
must consider the welfare of the other girls; I cannot risk poisoning
a dozen to save one. You have done us a great injury. Nobody has ever
disgraced the school as you have. You have been seen again and again at
that vile place where you have bought your papers, and of course those
who have seen you, know what was your errand there. You have injured
Fanny. You have injured Claribel—perhaps endangered her life, for such
a shock is a grave matter to anybody as weak as she is. Nevertheless,
I am willing to forgive you and to give you a chance to retrieve your
character."
"You are very good," said Priscilla again, in a broken voice. "I did
not think anybody could be so—"
"Ah, Priscilla, there is One far better to you than I am," said Mr.
Hausen—"One against whom you have been sinning and rebelling all your
life, who is yet ready to forgive and receive you the moment you turn
to him. I can forgive you, but only he can wash away your sin and
sanctify your heart. I can help you by outward aids and restrictions,
but he can change your whole nature, so that you will hate the things
you now love and love the things you do not now care for. Why can you
not turn to him in the hour of youth, in this time of trouble?"
"I don't know anything about that," said Priscilla. "It never seems to
me as if there were anything real about religion any more than about
anything else one reads of, but I suppose there must be."
"Ask Claribel what she thinks about that matter," said Mr. Hausen.
"Well, I will say for Claribel that something has changed her," said
Priscilla. "I never saw such an alteration in anybody. I would give a
good deal if she were well once more."
"Well, Priscilla, I hope that some day these things may seem as real to
you as they do to me. But now how are we to settle this matter?"
"Mr. Hausen," said Priscilla, "if you will let me stay, I will try to
do the best I can. I can't promise to be good, but I will promise to
try, and I will do everything you tell me. I did think I would face it
out and pretend I did not care; but I do care. I am very sorry."
"I am glad to hear you say so," answered Mr. Hausen. "I shall lay you
under the same restrictions as Fanny, and I want you to promise me one
thing more—namely, that you will read two chapters in the New Testament
every day while you stay here."
"Well, I will agree to that," said Priscilla, "though I tell you
honestly, Mr. Hausen, I don't care as much as I should for the Bible."
"No, I suppose not; but I mean that you should learn to care. My mother
knew a lady who was converted from a very gay and worldly life, and
became one of the most consistent and useful Christian women that ever
lived. She told my mother that when she first began to read the Bible
she cared nothing about it—she could not become interested in it—and
she made a resolution that she would read no other book till she had
learned to love the Bible best of all."
"And did she?" asked Priscilla, much interested. "Did she keep her
resolution, I mean?"
"Yes. Though she was a highly cultivated woman, and fond of reading,
she did not for a whole year touch any other book than the Bible. After
that, she allowed herself to read other books, but she always loved the
Bible best. I don't ask you to read no other book, but I do ask you
to pledge yourself to read at least two chapters in the New Testament
every day."
"Well, I will," said Priscilla. "Where shall I begin?"
"Begin at the beginning, and read straight on; you cannot have a better
plan than that. Try to feel what you read, and ask God to give you
grace to understand it. But you must remember, Priscilla, that you are
on probation. You will be closely watched, and the first disobedience
or deception sends you home."
"All right," said Priscilla; "that is only fair. Mr. Hausen, I do thank
you for letting me stay, if only on mother's account. I have been, and
am, a bad girl, but I do love my mother. I will do all that you tell
me."
Priscilla shut herself up in her own room and remained there till near
dinner-time. Then she went to Rebecca's room and knocked.
"Come in," said Rebecca, opening the door and then shutting it
directly. "I thought you were never coming. I went to your room as soon
as I saw you come out of the study, but you were locked in. Why didn't
you open the door?"
"I was busy," answered Priscilla.
"Well, and how did you get off?" asked Rebecca. "Isn't it fun that
nobody suspects me, or has said a word to me?"
"You had better not be too sure that nobody suspects you," said
Priscilla.
"Well, anyhow, nobody has accused me. What did Mr. Hausen say to you?"
"Never mind," said Priscilla, shortly. "Rebecca, I want all those books
and papers directly."
"Oh, why?" asked Rebecca. "I have not half finished them, and I am sure
they are as safe here as they can be anywhere."
"Never mind; I want them, every one."
With considerable reluctance and grumbling, Rebecca produced the pile
of pamphlets and papers.
Priscilla looked them over.
"They are not all here," said she. "Where are the rest? I want every
one of them."
"I think you might leave me one," said Rebecca, producing a thick
yellow book and giving it to Priscilla. "You can't want to read all
these at once."
"I don't want to read any of them, as it happens."
"What are you going to do with them?" asked Rebecca.
"I am going to give them to Mr. Hausen," said Priscilla, doing the
books up in a bundle and tying them together in a very decided fashion.
"Priscilla! You won't do that!"
"You will see that I will."
"Oh, I suppose you mean to set up for good, like Claribel," said
Rebecca, sneeringly. "It is rather late in the day for that. Suppose I
set up for good too, and tell Mr. Hausen all about our going down to
Sawyer's, and so on?"
"You won't tell him any news if you do," answered Priscilla, coolly.
"Fanny has told him already, and so have I. You needn't look so scared;
I didn't say anything about you, and sha'n't. As for Claribel, you had
better not say anything to me against her, if you know what is good for
yourself."
"Well, I never thought you would be scared and give in so easy as
that," said Rebecca. "For my part, I shall keep my own counsel."
"You are welcome to keep it, for all me," said Priscilla. "I don't
think I have done you any great harm; that is one comfort."
"But what is the use of giving these books to Mr. Hausen?" asked
Rebecca, loath to give up the stolen waters which her unhealthy taste
had found so sweet. "If you don't want them yourself, you might let me
have them. Mr. Hausen don't know anything about them; and if he finds
them, I won't tell him they are yours. But he won't find them. I have
got a capital hiding-place, and we can have some fun with them by and
by, when this has blown over a little. Come, what is the use of making
such a great pretence of goodness all at once?"