Crime and Punishment
‘What a pity!’ And so I concluded... from everything together, not only
that; yesterday Zametov... you know, Rodya, I talked some nonsense on
the way home to you yesterday, when I was drunk... I am afraid, brother,
of your exaggerating it, you see.”
“What? That they think I am a madman? Maybe they are right,” he said
with a constrained smile.
“Yes, yes.... That is, pooh, no!... But all that I said (and there was
something else too) it was all nonsense, drunken nonsense.”
“But why are you apologising? I am so sick of it all!” Raskolnikov cried
with exaggerated irritability. It was partly assumed, however.
“I know, I know, I understand. Believe me, I understand. One’s ashamed
to speak of it.”
“If you are ashamed, then don’t speak of it.”
Both were silent. Razumihin was more than ecstatic and Raskolnikov
perceived it with repulsion. He was alarmed, too, by what Razumihin had
just said about Porfiry.
“I shall have to pull a long face with him too,” he thought, with a
beating heart, and he turned white, “and do it naturally, too. But the
most natural thing would be to do nothing at all. Carefully do nothing
at all! No, _carefully_ would not be natural again.... Oh, well, we
shall see how it turns out.... We shall see... directly. Is it a good
thing to go or not? The butterfly flies to the light. My heart is
beating, that’s what’s bad!”
“In this grey house,” said Razumihin.
“The most important thing, does Porfiry know that I was at the old
hag’s flat yesterday... and asked about the blood? I must find that out
instantly, as soon as I go in, find out from his face; otherwise... I’ll
find out, if it’s my ruin.”
“I say, brother,” he said suddenly, addressing Razumihin, with a sly
smile, “I have been noticing all day that you seem to be curiously
excited. Isn’t it so?”
“Excited? Not a bit of it,” said Razumihin, stung to the quick.
“Yes, brother, I assure you it’s noticeable. Why, you sat on your chair
in a way you never do sit, on the edge somehow, and you seemed to be
writhing all the time. You kept jumping up for nothing. One moment you
were angry, and the next your face looked like a sweetmeat. You even
blushed; especially when you were invited to dinner, you blushed
awfully.”
“Nothing of the sort, nonsense! What do you mean?”
“But why are you wriggling out of it, like a schoolboy? By Jove, there
he’s blushing again.”
“What a pig you are!”
“But why are you so shamefaced about it? Romeo! Stay, I’ll tell of you
to-day. Ha-ha-ha! I’ll make mother laugh, and someone else, too...”
“Listen, listen, listen, this is serious.... What next, you fiend!”
Razumihin was utterly overwhelmed, turning cold with horror. “What will
you tell them? Come, brother... foo! what a pig you are!”
“You are like a summer rose. And if only you knew how it suits you; a
Romeo over six foot high! And how you’ve washed to-day--you cleaned your
nails, I declare. Eh? That’s something unheard of! Why, I do believe
you’ve got pomatum on your hair! Bend down.”
“Pig!”
Raskolnikov laughed as though he could not restrain himself. So
laughing, they entered Porfiry Petrovitch’s flat. This is what
Raskolnikov wanted: from within they could be heard laughing as they
came in, still guffawing in the passage.
“Not a word here or I’ll... brain you!” Razumihin whispered furiously,
seizing Raskolnikov by the shoulder.
CHAPTER V
Raskolnikov was already entering the room. He came in looking as though
he had the utmost difficulty not to burst out laughing again. Behind him
Razumihin strode in gawky and awkward, shamefaced and red as a peony,
with an utterly crestfallen and ferocious expression. His face and
whole figure really were ridiculous at that moment and amply justified
Raskolnikov’s laughter. Raskolnikov, not waiting for an introduction,
bowed to Porfiry Petrovitch, who stood in the middle of the room
looking inquiringly at them. He held out his hand and shook hands, still
apparently making desperate efforts to subdue his mirth and utter a few
words to introduce himself. But he had no sooner succeeded in assuming
a serious air and muttering something when he suddenly glanced again as
though accidentally at Razumihin, and could no longer control himself:
his stifled laughter broke out the more irresistibly the more he tried
to restrain it. The extraordinary ferocity with which Razumihin received
this “spontaneous” mirth gave the whole scene the appearance of most
genuine fun and naturalness. Razumihin strengthened this impression as
though on purpose.
“Fool! You fiend,” he roared, waving his arm which at once struck a
little round table with an empty tea-glass on it. Everything was sent
flying and crashing.
“But why break chairs, gentlemen? You know it’s a loss to the Crown,”
Porfiry Petrovitch quoted gaily.
Raskolnikov was still laughing, with his hand in Porfiry Petrovitch’s,
but anxious not to overdo it, awaited the right moment to put a natural
end to it. Razumihin, completely put to confusion by upsetting the table
and smashing the glass, gazed gloomily at the fragments, cursed and
turned sharply to the window where he stood looking out with his back
to the company with a fiercely scowling countenance, seeing nothing.
Porfiry Petrovitch laughed and was ready to go on laughing, but
obviously looked for explanations. Zametov had been sitting in the
corner, but he rose at the visitors’ entrance and was standing in
expectation with a smile on his lips, though he looked with surprise and
even it seemed incredulity at the whole scene and at Raskolnikov with a
certain embarrassment. Zametov’s unexpected presence struck Raskolnikov
unpleasantly.
“I’ve got to think of that,” he thought. “Excuse me, please,” he began,
affecting extreme embarrassment. “Raskolnikov.”
“Not at all, very pleasant to see you... and how pleasantly you’ve come
in.... Why, won’t he even say good-morning?” Porfiry Petrovitch nodded
at Razumihin.
“Upon my honour I don’t know why he is in such a rage with me. I only
told him as we came along that he was like Romeo... and proved it. And
that was all, I think!”
“Pig!” ejaculated Razumihin, without turning round.
“There must have been very grave grounds for it, if he is so furious at
the word,” Porfiry laughed.
“Oh, you sharp lawyer!... Damn you all!” snapped Razumihin, and suddenly
bursting out laughing himself, he went up to Porfiry with a more
cheerful face as though nothing had happened. “That’ll do! We are
all fools. To come to business. This is my friend Rodion Romanovitch
Raskolnikov; in the first place he has heard of you and wants to make
your acquaintance, and secondly, he has a little matter of business with
you. Bah! Zametov, what brought you here? Have you met before? Have you
known each other long?”
“What does this mean?” thought Raskolnikov uneasily.
Zametov seemed taken aback, but not very much so.
“Why, it was at your rooms we met yesterday,” he said easily.
“Then I have been spared the trouble. All last week he was begging me
to introduce him to you. Porfiry and you have sniffed each other out
without me. Where is your tobacco?”
Porfiry Petrovitch was wearing a dressing-gown, very clean linen, and
trodden-down slippers. He was a man of about five and thirty, short,
stout even to corpulence, and clean shaven. He wore his hair cut short
and had a large round head, particularly prominent at the back. His
soft, round, rather snub-nosed face was of a sickly yellowish colour,
but had a vigorous and rather ironical expression. It would have been
good-natured except for a look in the eyes, which shone with a watery,
mawkish light under almost white, blinking eyelashes. The expression
of those eyes was strangely out of keeping with his somewhat womanish
figure, and gave it something far more serious than could be guessed at
first sight.
As soon as Porfiry Petrovitch heard that his visitor had a little matter
of business with him, he begged him to sit down on the sofa and sat down
himself on the other end, waiting for him to explain his business, with
that careful and over-serious attention which is at once oppressive and
embarrassing, especially to a stranger, and especially if what you are
discussing is in your opinion of far too little importance for such
exceptional solemnity. But in brief and coherent phrases Raskolnikov
explained his business clearly and exactly, and was so well satisfied
with himself that he even succeeded in taking a good look at Porfiry.
Porfiry Petrovitch did not once take his eyes off him. Razumihin,
sitting opposite at the same table, listened warmly and impatiently,
looking from one to the other every moment with rather excessive
interest.
“Fool,” Raskolnikov swore to himself.
“You have to give information to the police,” Porfiry replied, with a
most businesslike air, “that having learnt of this incident, that is of
the murder, you beg to inform the lawyer in charge of the case that such
and such things belong to you, and that you desire to redeem them...
or... but they will write to you.”
“That’s just the point, that at the present moment,” Raskolnikov tried
his utmost to feign embarrassment, “I am not quite in funds... and
even this trifling sum is beyond me... I only wanted, you see, for
the present to declare that the things are mine, and that when I have
money....”
“That’s no matter,” answered Porfiry Petrovitch, receiving his
explanation of his pecuniary position coldly, “but you can, if you
prefer, write straight to me, to say, that having been informed of the
matter, and claiming such and such as your property, you beg...”
“On an ordinary sheet of paper?” Raskolnikov interrupted eagerly, again
interested in the financial side of the question.
“Oh, the most ordinary,” and suddenly Porfiry Petrovitch looked with
obvious irony at him, screwing up his eyes and, as it were, winking at
him. But perhaps it was Raskolnikov’s fancy, for it all lasted but a
moment. There was certainly something of the sort, Raskolnikov could
have sworn he winked at him, goodness knows why.
“He knows,” flashed through his mind like lightning.
“Forgive my troubling you about such trifles,” he went on, a little
disconcerted, “the things are only worth five roubles, but I prize them
particularly for the sake of those from whom they came to me, and I must
confess that I was alarmed when I heard...”
“That’s why you were so much struck when I mentioned to Zossimov that
Porfiry was inquiring for everyone who had pledges!” Razumihin put in
with obvious intention.
This was really unbearable. Raskolnikov could not help glancing at him
with a flash of vindictive anger in his black eyes, but immediately
recollected himself.
“You seem to be jeering at me, brother?” he said to him, with a
well-feigned irritability. “I dare say I do seem to you absurdly anxious
about such trash; but you mustn’t think me selfish or grasping for that,
and these two things may be anything but trash in my eyes. I told you
just now that the silver watch, though it’s not worth a cent, is the
only thing left us of my father’s. You may laugh at me, but my mother is
here,” he turned suddenly to Porfiry, “and if she knew,” he turned again
hurriedly to Razumihin, carefully making his voice tremble, “that the
watch was lost, she would be in despair! You know what women are!”
“Not a bit of it! I didn’t mean that at all! Quite the contrary!”
shouted Razumihin distressed.
“Was it right? Was it natural? Did I overdo it?” Raskolnikov asked
himself in a tremor. “Why did I say that about women?”
“Oh, your mother is with you?” Porfiry Petrovitch inquired.
“Yes.”
“When did she come?”
“Last night.”
Porfiry paused as though reflecting.
“Your things would not in any case be lost,” he went on calmly and