Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz
I must tell you that I was born in Omaha, and my father, who was a
politician, named me Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle
Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs, Diggs being the last name because he could
think of no more to go before it. Taken altogether, it was a dreadfully
long name to weigh down a poor innocent child, and one of the hardest
lessons I ever learned was to remember my own name. When I grew up I
just called myself O. Z., because the other initials were P-I-N-H-E-A-D;
and that spelled 'pinhead,' which was a reflection on my intelligence."
"Surely no one could blame you for cutting your name short," said Ozma,
sympathetically. "But didn't you cut it almost too short?"
"Perhaps so," replied the Wizard. "When a young man I ran away from home
and joined a circus. I used to call myself a Wizard, and do tricks of
ventriloquism."
"What does that mean?" asked the Princess.
"Throwing my voice into any object I pleased, to make it appear that the
object was speaking instead of me. Also I began to make balloon
ascensions. On my balloon and on all the other articles I used in the
circus I painted the two initials: 'O. Z.', to show that those things
belonged to me.
"One day my balloon ran away with me and brought me across the deserts
to this beautiful country. When the people saw me come from the sky they
naturally thought me some superior creature, and bowed down before me. I
told them I was a Wizard, and showed them some easy tricks that amazed
them; and when they saw the initials painted on the balloon they called
me Oz."
"Now I begin to understand," said the Princess, smiling.
"At that time," continued the Wizard, busily eating his soup while
talking, "there were four separate countries in this Land, each one of
the four being ruled by a Witch. But the people thought my power was
greater than that of the Witches; and perhaps the Witches thought so
too, for they never dared oppose me. I ordered the Emerald City to be
built just where the four countries cornered together, and when it was
completed I announced myself the Ruler of the Land of Oz, which included
all the four countries of the Munchkins, the Gillikins, the Winkies and
the Quadlings. Over this Land I ruled in peace for many years, until I
grew old and longed to see my native city once again. So when Dorothy
was first blown to this place by a cyclone I arranged to go away with
her in a balloon; but the balloon escaped too soon and carried me back
alone. After many adventures I reached Omaha, only to find that all my
old friends were dead or had moved away. So, having nothing else to do,
I joined a circus again, and made my balloon ascensions until the
earthquake caught me."
"That is quite a history," said Ozma; "but there is a little more
history about the Land of Oz that you do not seem to understand--perhaps
for the reason that no one ever told it you. Many years before you came
here this Land was united under one Ruler, as it is now, and the Ruler's
name was always 'Oz', which means in our language 'Great and Good'; or,
if the Ruler happened to be a woman, her name was always 'Ozma.' But
once upon a time four Witches leagued together to depose the king and
rule the four parts of the kingdom themselves; so when the Ruler, my
grandfather, was hunting one day, one Wicked Witch named Mombi stole him
and carried him away, keeping him a close prisoner. Then the Witches
divided up the kingdom, and ruled the four parts of it until you came
here. That was why the people were so glad to see you, and why they
thought from your initials that you were their rightful ruler."
"But, at that time," said the Wizard, thoughtfully, "there were two Good
Witches and two Wicked Witches ruling in the land."
"Yes," replied Ozma, "because a good Witch had conquered Mombi in the
North and Glinda the Good had conquered the evil Witch in the South. But
Mombi was still my grandfather's jailor, and afterward my father's
jailor. When I was born she transformed me into a boy, hoping that no
one would ever recognize me and know that I was the rightful Princess of
the Land of Oz. But I escaped from her and am now the Ruler of my
people."
"I am very glad of that," said the Wizard, "and hope you will consider
me one of your most faithful and devoted subjects."
"We owe a great deal to the Wonderful Wizard," continued the Princess,
"for it was you who built this splendid Emerald City."
"Your people built it," he answered. "I only bossed the job, as we say
in Omaha."
"But you ruled it wisely and well for many years," said she, "and made
the people proud of your magical art. So, as you are now too old to
wander abroad and work in a circus, I offer you a home here as long as
you live. You shall be the Official Wizard of my kingdom, and be treated
with every respect and consideration."
"I accept your kind offer with gratitude, gracious Princess," the little
man said, in a soft voice, and they could all see that tear-drops were
standing in his keen old eyes. It meant a good deal to him to secure a
home like this.
"He's only a humbug Wizard, though," said Dorothy, smiling at him.
"And that is the safest kind of a Wizard to have," replied Ozma,
promptly.
"Oz can do some good tricks, humbug or no humbug," announced Zeb, who
was now feeling more at ease.
"He shall amuse us with his tricks tomorrow," said the Princess. "I have
sent messengers to summon all of Dorothy's old friends to meet her and
give her welcome, and they ought to arrive very soon, now."
Indeed, the dinner was no sooner finished than in rushed the Scarecrow,
to hug Dorothy in his padded arms and tell her how glad he was to see
her again. The Wizard was also most heartily welcomed by the straw man,
who was an important personage in the Land of Oz.
"How are your brains?" enquired the little humbug, as he grasped the
soft, stuffed hands of his old friend.
"Working finely," answered the Scarecrow. "I'm very certain, Oz, that
you gave me the best brains in the world, for I can think with them day
and night, when all other brains are fast asleep."
"How long did you rule the Emerald City, after I left here?" was the
next question.
"Quite awhile, until I was conquered by a girl named General Jinjur. But
Ozma soon conquered her, with the help of Glinda the Good, and after
that I went to live with Nick Chopper, the Tin Woodman."
Just then a loud cackling was heard outside; and, when a servant threw
open the door with a low bow, a yellow hen strutted in. Dorothy sprang
forward and caught the fluffy fowl in her arms, uttering at the same
time a glad cry.
"Oh, Billina!" she said; "how fat and sleek you've grown."
"Why shouldn't I?" asked the hen, in a sharp, clear voice. "I live on
the fat of the land--don't I, Ozma?"
"You have everything you wish for," said the Princess.
Around Billina's neck was a string of beautiful pearls, and on her legs
were bracelets of emeralds. She nestled herself comfortably in Dorothy's
lap until the kitten gave a snarl of jealous anger and leaped up with a
sharp claw fiercely bared to strike Billina a blow. But the little girl
gave the angry kitten such a severe cuff that it jumped down again
without daring to scratch.
"How horrid of you, Eureka!" cried Dorothy. "Is that the way to treat my
friends?"
"You have queer friends, seems to me," replied the kitten, in a surly
tone.
"Seems to me the same way," said Billina, scornfully, "if that beastly
cat is one of them."
"Look here!" said Dorothy, sternly. "I won't have any quarrelling in the
Land of Oz, I can tell you! Everybody lives in peace here, and loves
everybody else; and unless you two, Billina and Eureka, make up and be
friends, I'll take my Magic Belt and wish you both home again,
_immejitly_. So, there!"
They were both much frightened at the threat, and promised meekly to be
good. But it was never noticed that they became very warm friends, for
all of that.
And now the Tin Woodman arrived, his body most beautifully
nickle-plated, so that it shone splendidly in the brilliant light of the
room. The Tin Woodman loved Dorothy most tenderly, and welcomed with joy
the return of the little old Wizard.
"Sir," said he to the latter, "I never can thank you enough for the
excellent heart you once gave me. It has made me many friends, I assure
you, and it beats as kindly and lovingly today as it ever did."
"I'm glad to hear that," said the Wizard. "I was afraid it would get
moldy in that tin body of yours."
"Not at all," returned Nick Chopper. "It keeps finely, being preserved
in my air-tight chest."
Zeb was a little shy when first introduced to these queer people; but
they were so friendly and sincere that he soon grew to admire them very
much, even finding some good qualities in the yellow hen. But he became
nervous again when the next visitor was announced.
"This," said Princess Ozma, "is my friend Mr. H. M. Woggle-Bug, T. E.,
who assisted me one time when I was in great distress, and is now the
Dean of the Royal College of Athletic Science."
"Ah," said the Wizard; "I'm pleased to meet so distinguished a
personage."
"H. M.," said the Woggle-Bug, pompously, "means Highly Magnified; and T.
E. means Thoroughly Educated. I am, in reality, a very big bug, and
doubtless the most intelligent being in all this broad domain."
"How well you disguise it," said the Wizard. "But I don't doubt your
word in the least."
"Nobody doubts it, sir," replied the Woggle-Bug, and drawing a book from
its pocket the strange insect turned its back on the company and sat
down in a corner to read.
Nobody minded this rudeness, which might have seemed more impolite in
one less thoroughly educated; so they straightway forgot him and joined
in a merry conversation that kept them well amused until bed-time
arrived.
CHAPTER 16.
JIM, THE CAB-HORSE
Jim the Cab-horse found himself in possession of a large room with a
green marble floor and carved marble wainscoting, which was so stately
in its appearance that it would have awed anyone else. Jim accepted it
as a mere detail, and at his command the attendants gave his coat a good
rubbing, combed his mane and tail, and washed his hoofs and fetlocks.
Then they told him dinner would be served directly and he replied that
they could not serve it too quickly to suit his convenience. First they
brought him a steaming bowl of soup, which the horse eyed in dismay.
"Take that stuff away!" he commanded. "Do you take me for a
salamander?"
They obeyed at once, and next served a fine large turbot on a silver
platter, with drawn gravey poured over it.
"Fish!" cried Jim, with a sniff. "Do you take me for a tom-cat? Away
with it!"
The servants were a little discouraged, but soon they brought in a great
tray containing two dozen nicely roasted quail on toast.
"Well, well!" said the horse, now thoroughly provoked. "Do you take me
for a weasel? How stupid and ignorant you are, in the Land of Oz, and
what dreadful things you feed upon! Is there nothing that is decent to
eat in this palace?"
The trembling servants sent for the Royal Steward, who came in haste and
said:
"What would your Highness like for dinner?"
"Highness!" repeated Jim, who was unused to such titles.
"You are at least six feet high, and that is higher than any other
animal in this country," said the Steward.
"Well, my Highness would like some oats," declared the horse.
"Oats? We have no whole oats," the Steward replied, with much
defference. "But there is any quantity of oatmeal, which we often cook
for breakfast. Oatmeal is a breakfast dish," added the Steward, humbly.
"I'll make it a dinner dish," said Jim. "Fetch it on, but don't cook it,
as you value your life."