Lord Jim
Patna in tow--stern foremost at that--which, under the circumstances,
was not so foolish, since the rudder was too much out of the water to
be of any great use for steering, and this manoeuvre eased the strain on
the bulkhead, whose state, he expounded with stolid glibness, demanded
the greatest care (exigeait les plus grands menagements). I could not
help thinking that my new acquaintance must have had a voice in most of
these arrangements: he looked a reliable officer, no longer very active,
and he was seamanlike too, in a way, though as he sat there, with his
thick fingers clasped lightly on his stomach, he reminded you of one
of those snuffy, quiet village priests, into whose ears are poured the
sins, the sufferings, the remorse of peasant generations, on whose faces
the placid and simple expression is like a veil thrown over the mystery
of pain and distress. He ought to have had a threadbare black soutane
buttoned smoothly up to his ample chin, instead of a frock-coat with
shoulder-straps and brass buttons. His broad bosom heaved regularly
while he went on telling me that it had been the very devil of a job,
as doubtless (sans doute) I could figure to myself in my quality of a
seaman (en votre qualite de marin). At the end of the period he inclined
his body slightly towards me, and, pursing his shaved lips, allowed the
air to escape with a gentle hiss. “Luckily,” he continued, “the sea was
level like this table, and there was no more wind than there is here.”
. . . The place struck me as indeed intolerably stuffy, and very hot;
my face burned as though I had been young enough to be embarrassed and
blushing. They had directed their course, he pursued, to the nearest
English port “naturellement,” where their responsibility ceased, “Dieu
merci.” . . . He blew out his flat cheeks a little. . . . “Because,
mind you (notez bien), all the time of towing we had two quartermasters
stationed with axes by the hawsers, to cut us clear of our tow in case
she . . .” He fluttered downwards his heavy eyelids, making his meaning
as plain as possible. . . . “What would you! One does what one can
(on fait ce qu’on peut),” and for a moment he managed to invest
his ponderous immobility with an air of resignation. “Two
quartermasters--thirty hours--always there. Two!” he repeated, lifting
up his right hand a little, and exhibiting two fingers. This was
absolutely the first gesture I saw him make. It gave me the opportunity
to “note” a starred scar on the back of his hand--effect of a gunshot
clearly; and, as if my sight had been made more acute by this discovery,
I perceived also the seam of an old wound, beginning a little below the
temple and going out of sight under the short grey hair at the side of
his head--the graze of a spear or the cut of a sabre. He clasped his
hands on his stomach again. “I remained on board that--that--my memory
is going (s’en va). Ah! Patt-na. C’est bien ca. Patt-na. Merci. It is
droll how one forgets. I stayed on that ship thirty hours. . . .”
‘“You did!” I exclaimed. Still gazing at his hands, he pursed his lips a
little, but this time made no hissing sound. “It was judged proper,” he
said, lifting his eyebrows dispassionately, “that one of the officers
should remain to keep an eye open (pour ouvrir l’oeil)” . . . he sighed
idly . . . “and for communicating by signals with the towing ship--do
you see?--and so on. For the rest, it was my opinion too. We made our
boats ready to drop over--and I also on that ship took measures. . . .
Enfin! One has done one’s possible. It was a delicate position. Thirty
hours! They prepared me some food. As for the wine--go and whistle for
it--not a drop.” In some extraordinary way, without any marked change in
his inert attitude and in the placid expression of his face, he managed
to convey the idea of profound disgust. “I--you know--when it comes to
eating without my glass of wine--I am nowhere.”
‘I was afraid he would enlarge upon the grievance, for though he didn’t
stir a limb or twitch a feature, he made one aware how much he was
irritated by the recollection. But he seemed to forget all about it.
They delivered their charge to the “port authorities,” as he expressed
it. He was struck by the calmness with which it had been received. “One
might have thought they had such a droll find (drole de trouvaille)
brought them every day. You are extraordinary--you others,” he
commented, with his back propped against the wall, and looking himself
as incapable of an emotional display as a sack of meal. There happened
to be a man-of-war and an Indian Marine steamer in the harbour at the
time, and he did not conceal his admiration of the efficient manner in
which the boats of these two ships cleared the Patna of her passengers.
Indeed his torpid demeanour concealed nothing: it had that mysterious,
almost miraculous, power of producing striking effects by means
impossible of detection which is the last word of the highest art.
“Twenty-five minutes--watch in hand--twenty-five, no more.” . . . He
unclasped and clasped again his fingers without removing his hands from
his stomach, and made it infinitely more effective than if he had thrown
up his arms to heaven in amazement. . . . “All that lot (tout ce monde)
on shore--with their little affairs--nobody left but a guard of
seamen (marins de l’Etat) and that interesting corpse (cet interessant
cadavre). Twenty-five minutes.” . . . With downcast eyes and his head
tilted slightly on one side he seemed to roll knowingly on his tongue
the savour of a smart bit of work. He persuaded one without any further
demonstration that his approval was eminently worth having, and resuming
his hardly interrupted immobility, he went on to inform me that, being
under orders to make the best of their way to Toulon, they left in
two hours’ time, “so that (de sorte que) there are many things in this
incident of my life (dans cet episode de ma vie) which have remained
obscure.”’
CHAPTER 13
‘After these words, and without a change of attitude, he, so to speak,
submitted himself passively to a state of silence. I kept him company;
and suddenly, but not abruptly, as if the appointed time had arrived
for his moderate and husky voice to come out of his immobility, he
pronounced, “Mon Dieu! how the time passes!” Nothing could have been
more commonplace than this remark; but its utterance coincided for me
with a moment of vision. It’s extraordinary how we go through life with
eyes half shut, with dull ears, with dormant thoughts. Perhaps it’s just
as well; and it may be that it is this very dullness that makes life to
the incalculable majority so supportable and so welcome. Nevertheless,
there can be but few of us who had never known one of these rare moments
of awakening when we see, hear, understand ever so much--everything--in
a flash--before we fall back again into our agreeable somnolence. I
raised my eyes when he spoke, and I saw him as though I had never seen
him before. I saw his chin sunk on his breast, the clumsy folds of his
coat, his clasped hands, his motionless pose, so curiously suggestive
of his having been simply left there. Time had passed indeed: it had
overtaken him and gone ahead. It had left him hopelessly behind with
a few poor gifts: the iron-grey hair, the heavy fatigue of the tanned
face, two scars, a pair of tarnished shoulder-straps; one of those
steady, reliable men who are the raw material of great reputations,
one of those uncounted lives that are buried without drums and
trumpets under the foundations of monumental successes. “I am now third
lieutenant of the Victorieuse” (she was the flagship of the French
Pacific squadron at the time), he said, detaching his shoulders from
the wall a couple of inches to introduce himself. I bowed slightly on my
side of the table, and told him I commanded a merchant vessel at present
anchored in Rushcutters’ Bay. He had “remarked” her,--a pretty little
craft. He was very civil about it in his impassive way. I even fancy
he went the length of tilting his head in compliment as he repeated,
breathing visibly the while, “Ah, yes. A little craft painted
black--very pretty--very pretty (tres coquet).” After a time he twisted
his body slowly to face the glass door on our right. “A dull town
(triste ville),” he observed, staring into the street. It was a
brilliant day; a southerly buster was raging, and we could see the
passers-by, men and women, buffeted by the wind on the sidewalks, the
sunlit fronts of the houses across the road blurred by the tall whirls
of dust. “I descended on shore,” he said, “to stretch my legs a little,
but . . .” He didn’t finish, and sank into the depths of his repose.
“Pray--tell me,” he began, coming up ponderously, “what was there at the
bottom of this affair--precisely (au juste)? It is curious. That dead
man, for instance--and so on.”
‘“There were living men too,” I said; “much more curious.”
‘“No doubt, no doubt,” he agreed half audibly, then, as if after
mature consideration, murmured, “Evidently.” I made no difficulty in
communicating to him what had interested me most in this affair. It
seemed as though he had a right to know: hadn’t he spent thirty hours
on board the Patna--had he not taken the succession, so to speak, had
he not done “his possible”? He listened to me, looking more priest-like
than ever, and with what--probably on account of his downcast eyes--had
the appearance of devout concentration. Once or twice he elevated
his eyebrows (but without raising his eyelids), as one would say “The
devil!” Once he calmly exclaimed, “Ah, bah!” under his breath, and when
I had finished he pursed his lips in a deliberate way and emitted a sort
of sorrowful whistle.
‘In any one else it might have been an evidence of boredom, a sign of
indifference; but he, in his occult way, managed to make his immobility
appear profoundly responsive, and as full of valuable thoughts as an
egg is of meat. What he said at last was nothing more than a “Very
interesting,” pronounced politely, and not much above a whisper. Before
I got over my disappointment he added, but as if speaking to himself,
“That’s it. That _is_ it.” His chin seemed to sink lower on his breast,
his body to weigh heavier on his seat. I was about to ask him what he
meant, when a sort of preparatory tremor passed over his whole person,
as a faint ripple may be seen upon stagnant water even before the wind
is felt. “And so that poor young man ran away along with the others,” he
said, with grave tranquillity.
‘I don’t know what made me smile: it is the only genuine smile of mine
I can remember in connection with Jim’s affair. But somehow this simple
statement of the matter sounded funny in French. . . . “S’est enfui avec
les autres,” had said the lieutenant. And suddenly I began to admire the
discrimination of the man. He had made out the point at once: he did
get hold of the only thing I cared about. I felt as though I were taking
professional opinion on the case. His imperturbable and mature calmness
was that of an expert in possession of the facts, and to whom one’s
perplexities are mere child’s-play. “Ah! The young, the young,” he said
indulgently. “And after all, one does not die of it.” “Die of what?” I
asked swiftly. “Of being afraid.” He elucidated his meaning and sipped
his drink.
‘I perceived that the three last fingers of his wounded hand were stiff
and could not move independently of each other, so that he took up his
tumbler with an ungainly clutch. “One is always afraid. One may talk,
but . . .” He put down the glass awkwardly. . . . “The fear, the
fear--look you--it is always there.” . . . He touched his breast near
a brass button, on the very spot where Jim had given a thump to his
own when protesting that there was nothing the matter with his heart. I