Love and Freindship [sic]
amiable Julia uttered sentiments of Morality worthy of a heart like her
own. Mr Millar appeared to answer the character I had always received
of him. My Father met him with that look of Love, that social Shake,
and cordial kiss which marked his gladness at beholding an old and
valued freind from whom thro’ various circumstances he had been
separated nearly twenty years. Mr Millar observed (and very justly too)
that many events had befallen each during that interval of time, which
gave occasion to the lovely Julia for making most sensible reflections
on the many changes in their situation which so long a period had
occasioned, on the advantages of some, and the disadvantages of others.
From this subject she made a short digression to the instability of
human pleasures and the uncertainty of their duration, which led her to
observe that all earthly Joys must be imperfect. She was proceeding to
illustrate this doctrine by examples from the Lives of great Men when
the Carriage came to the Door and the amiable Moralist with her Father
and Sister was obliged to depart; but not without a promise of spending
five or six months with us on their return. We of course mentioned you,
and I assure you that ample Justice was done to your Merits by all.
“Louisa Clarke (said I) is in general a very pleasant Girl, yet
sometimes her good humour is clouded by Peevishness, Envy and Spite.
She neither wants Understanding or is without some pretensions to
Beauty, but these are so very trifling, that the value she sets on her
personal charms, and the adoration she expects them to be offered are
at once a striking example of her vanity, her pride, and her folly.” So
said I, and to my opinion everyone added weight by the concurrence of
their own.
Your affectionate
Arabella Smythe.
THE FIRST ACT OF A COMEDY
_Characters_
Popgun Maria
Charles Pistolletta
Postilion Hostess
Chorus of ploughboys Cook
and and
Strephon Chloe
SCENE—AN INN
_Enter_ Hostess, Charles, Maria, and Cook.
Hostess to Maria
If the gentry in the Lion should want beds, shew them number 9.
Maria
Yes Mistress.—_exit_ Maria
Hostess to Cook
If their Honours in the Moon ask for the bill of fare, give it them.
Cook
I will, I will. _exit_ Cook.
Hostess to Charles
If their Ladyships in the Sun ring their Bell—answer it.
Charles
Yes Madam. _exeunt_ Severally.
SCENE CHANGES TO THE MOON, and discovers Popgun and Pistoletta.
Pistoletta
Pray papa how far is it to London?
Popgun
My Girl, my Darling, my favourite of all my Children, who art the
picture of thy poor Mother who died two months ago, with whom I am
going to Town to marry to Strephon, and to whom I mean to bequeath my
whole Estate, it wants seven Miles.
SCENE CHANGES TO THE SUN—
_Enter_ Chloe and a chorus of ploughboys.
Chloe
Where am I? At Hounslow.—Where go I? To London—. What to do? To be
married—. Unto whom? Unto Strephon. Who is he? A Youth. Then I will
sing a song.
SONG
I go to Town
And when I come down,
I shall be married to Streephon.*
And that to me will be fun.
[* Note the two e’s]
Chorus
Be fun, be fun, be fun,
And that to me will be fun.
_Enter_ Cook—
Cook
Here is the bill of fare.
Chloe reads
2 Ducks, a leg of beef, a stinking partridge, and a tart.—I will have
the leg of beef and the partridge.
_Exit_ Cook.
And now I will sing another song.
SONG
I am going to have my dinner,
After which I shan’t be thinner,
I wish I had here Strephon
For he would carve the partridge if it should be a tough one.
Chorus
Tough one, tough one, tough one
For he would carve the partridge if it
Should be a tough one.
_Exit_ Chloe and Chorus.—
SCENE CHANGES TO THE INSIDE OF THE LION.
_Enter_ Strephon and Postilion.
Streph:)
You drove me from Staines to this place, from whence I mean to go to
Town to marry Chloe. How much is your due?
Post:
Eighteen pence.
Streph:
Alas, my freind, I have but a bad guinea with which I mean to support
myself in Town. But I will pawn to you an undirected Letter that I
received from Chloe.
Post:
Sir, I accept your offer.
END OF THE FIRST ACT.
A LETTER from a YOUNG LADY, whose feelings being too strong for her
Judgement led her into the commission of Errors which her Heart
disapproved.
Many have been the cares and vicissitudes of my past life, my beloved
Ellinor, and the only consolation I feel for their bitterness is that
on a close examination of my conduct, I am convinced that I have
strictly deserved them. I murdered my father at a very early period of
my Life, I have since murdered my Mother, and I am now going to murder
my Sister. I have changed my religion so often that at present I have
not an idea of any left. I have been a perjured witness in every public
tryal for these last twelve years; and I have forged my own Will. In
short there is scarcely a crime that I have not committed—But I am now
going to reform. Colonel Martin of the Horse guards has paid his
Addresses to me, and we are to be married in a few days. As there is
something singular in our Courtship, I will give you an account of it.
Colonel Martin is the second son of the late Sir John Martin who died
immensely rich, but bequeathing only one hundred thousand pound apeice
to his three younger Children, left the bulk of his fortune, about
eight Million to the present Sir Thomas. Upon his small pittance the
Colonel lived tolerably contented for nearly four months when he took
it into his head to determine on getting the whole of his eldest
Brother’s Estate. A new will was forged and the Colonel produced it in
Court—but nobody would swear to it’s being the right will except
himself, and he had sworn so much that Nobody beleived him. At that
moment I happened to be passing by the door of the Court, and was
beckoned in by the Judge who told the Colonel that I was a Lady ready
to witness anything for the cause of Justice, and advised him to apply
to me. In short the Affair was soon adjusted. The Colonel and I swore
to its’ being the right will, and Sir Thomas has been obliged to resign
all his illgotten wealth. The Colonel in gratitude waited on me the
next day with an offer of his hand—. I am now going to murder my
Sister.
Yours Ever,
Anna Parker.
A TOUR THROUGH WALES—
in a LETTER from a YOUNG LADY—
MY DEAR CLARA
I have been so long on the ramble that I have not till now had it in my
power to thank you for your Letter—. We left our dear home on last
Monday month; and proceeded on our tour through Wales, which is a
principality contiguous to England and gives the title to the Prince of
Wales. We travelled on horseback by preference. My Mother rode upon our
little poney and Fanny and I walked by her side or rather ran, for my
Mother is so fond of riding fast that she galloped all the way. You may
be sure that we were in a fine perspiration when we came to our place
of resting. Fanny has taken a great many Drawings of the Country, which
are very beautiful, tho’ perhaps not such exact resemblances as might
be wished, from their being taken as she ran along. It would astonish
you to see all the Shoes we wore out in our Tour. We determined to take
a good Stock with us and therefore each took a pair of our own besides
those we set off in. However we were obliged to have them both capped
and heelpeiced at Carmarthen, and at last when they were quite gone,
Mama was so kind as to lend us a pair of blue Sattin Slippers, of which
we each took one and hopped home from Hereford delightfully—
I am your ever affectionate
Elizabeth Johnson.
A TALE.
A Gentleman whose family name I shall conceal, bought a small Cottage
in Pembrokeshire about two years ago. This daring Action was suggested
to him by his elder Brother who promised to furnish two rooms and a
Closet for him, provided he would take a small house near the borders
of an extensive Forest, and about three Miles from the Sea. Wilhelminus
gladly accepted the offer and continued for some time searching after
such a retreat when he was one morning agreably releived from his
suspence by reading this advertisement in a Newspaper.
TO BE LETT
A Neat Cottage on the borders of an extensive forest and about three
Miles from the Sea. It is ready furnished except two rooms and a
Closet.
The delighted Wilhelminus posted away immediately to his brother, and
shewed him the advertisement. Robertus congratulated him and sent him
in his Carriage to take possession of the Cottage. After travelling for
three days and six nights without stopping, they arrived at the Forest
and following a track which led by it’s side down a steep Hill over
which ten Rivulets meandered, they reached the Cottage in half an hour.
Wilhelminus alighted, and after knocking for some time without
receiving any answer or hearing any one stir within, he opened the door
which was fastened only by a wooden latch and entered a small room,
which he immediately perceived to be one of the two that were
unfurnished—From thence he proceeded into a Closet equally bare. A pair
of stairs that went out of it led him into a room above, no less
destitute, and these apartments he found composed the whole of the
House. He was by no means displeased with this discovery, as he had the
comfort of reflecting that he should not be obliged to lay out anything
on furniture himself—. He returned immediately to his Brother, who took
him the next day to every Shop in Town, and bought what ever was
requisite to furnish the two rooms and the Closet, In a few days
everything was completed, and Wilhelminus returned to take possession
of his Cottage. Robertus accompanied him, with his Lady the amiable
Cecilia and her two lovely Sisters Arabella and Marina to whom
Wilhelminus was tenderly attached, and a large number of Attendants.—An
ordinary Genius might probably have been embarrassed, in endeavouring
to accomodate so large a party, but Wilhelminus with admirable presence
of mind gave orders for the immediate erection of two noble Tents in an
open spot in the Forest adjoining to the house. Their Construction was
both simple and elegant—A couple of old blankets, each supported by
four sticks, gave a striking proof of that taste for architecture and
that happy ease in overcoming difficulties which were some of
Wilhelminus’s most striking Virtues.