The Gambler
circumstances; and now to my difficulties the advent of the aged
Grandmother, coupled with her subsequent proceedings, has put the final
touch. Also, the involved state of my affairs forbids me to write with
any finality concerning those hopes of ultimate bliss upon which, for a
long while past, I have permitted myself to feed. I regret the past,
but at the same time hope that in my conduct you have never been able
to detect anything that was unworthy of a gentleman and a man of
honour. Having lost, however, almost the whole of my money in debts
incurred by your stepfather, I find myself driven to the necessity of
saving the remainder; wherefore, I have instructed certain friends of
mine in St. Petersburg to arrange for the sale of all the property
which has been mortgaged to myself. At the same time, knowing that, in
addition, your frivolous stepfather has squandered money which is
exclusively yours, I have decided to absolve him from a certain moiety
of the mortgages on his property, in order that you may be in a
position to recover of him what you have lost, by suing him in legal
fashion. I trust, therefore, that, as matters now stand, this action of
mine may bring you some advantage. I trust also that this same action
leaves me in the position of having fulfilled every obligation which is
incumbent upon a man of honour and refinement. Rest assured that your
memory will for ever remain graven in my heart.”
“All this is clear enough,” I commented. “Surely you did not expect
aught else from him?” Somehow I was feeling annoyed.
“I expected nothing at all from him,” she replied—quietly enough, to
all outward seeming, yet with a note of irritation in her tone. “Long
ago I made up my mind on the subject, for I could read his thoughts,
and knew what he was thinking. He thought that possibly I should sue
him—that one day I might become a nuisance.” Here Polina halted for a
moment, and stood biting her lips. “So of set purpose I redoubled my
contemptuous treatment of him, and waited to see what he would do. If a
telegram to say that we had become legatees had arrived from, St.
Petersburg, I should have flung at him a quittance for my foolish
stepfather’s debts, and then dismissed him. For a long time I have
hated him. Even in earlier days he was not a man; and now!—Oh, how
gladly I could throw those fifty thousand roubles in his face, and spit
in it, and then rub the spittle in!”
“But the document returning the fifty-thousand rouble mortgage—has the
General got it? If so, possess yourself of it, and send it to De
Griers.”
“No, no; the General has not got it.”
“Just as I expected! Well, what is the General going to do?” Then an
idea suddenly occurred to me. “What about the Grandmother?” I asked.
Polina looked at me with impatience and bewilderment.
“What makes you speak of _her?_” was her irritable inquiry. “I cannot
go and live with her. Nor,” she added hotly, “will I go down upon my
knees to _any one_.”
“Why should you?” I cried. “Yet to think that you should have loved De
Griers! The villain, the villain! But I will kill him in a duel. Where
is he now?”
“In Frankfort, where he will be staying for the next three days.”
“Well, bid me do so, and I will go to him by the first train tomorrow,”
I exclaimed with enthusiasm.
She smiled.
“If you were to do that,” she said, “he would merely tell you to be so
good as first to return him the fifty thousand francs. What, then,
would be the use of having a quarrel with him? You talk sheer
nonsense.”
I ground my teeth.
“The question,” I went on, “is how to raise the fifty thousand francs.
We cannot expect to find them lying about on the floor. Listen. What of
Mr. Astley?” Even as I spoke a new and strange idea formed itself in my
brain.
Her eyes flashed fire.
“What? _you yourself_ wish me to leave you for him?” she cried with a
scornful look and a proud smile. Never before had she addressed me
thus.
Then her head must have turned dizzy with emotion, for suddenly she
seated herself upon the sofa, as though she were powerless any longer
to stand.
A flash of lightning seemed to strike me as I stood there. I could
scarcely believe my eyes or my ears. She _did_ love me, then! It _was_
to me, and not to Mr. Astley, that she had turned! Although she, an
unprotected girl, had come to me in my room—in an hotel room—and had
probably compromised herself thereby, I had not understood!
Then a second mad idea flashed into my brain.
“Polina,” I said, “give me but an hour. Wait here just one hour until I
return. Yes, you MUST do so. Do you not see what I mean? Just stay here
for that time.”
And I rushed from the room without so much as answering her look of
inquiry. She called something after me, but I did not return.
Sometimes it happens that the most insane thought, the most impossible
conception, will become so fixed in one’s head that at length one
believes the thought or the conception to be reality. Moreover, if with
the thought or the conception there is combined a strong, a passionate,
desire, one will come to look upon the said thought or conception as
something fated, inevitable, and foreordained—something bound to
happen. Whether by this there is connoted something in the nature of a
combination of presentiments, or a great effort of will, or a
self-annulment of one’s true expectations, and so on, I do not know;
but, at all events that night saw happen to me (a night which I shall
never forget) something in the nature of the miraculous. Although the
occurrence can easily be explained by arithmetic, I still believe it to
have been a miracle. Yet why did this conviction take such a hold upon
me at the time, and remain with me ever since? Previously, I had
thought of the idea, not as an occurrence which was ever likely to come
about, but as something which _never_ could come about.
The time was a quarter past eleven o’clock when I entered the Casino in
such a state of hope (though, at the same time, of agitation) as I had
never before experienced. In the gaming-rooms there were still a large
number of people, but not half as many as had been present in the
morning.
At eleven o’clock there usually remained behind only the real, the
desperate gamblers—persons for whom, at spas, there existed nothing
beyond roulette, and who went thither for that alone. These gamesters
took little note of what was going on around them, and were interested
in none of the appurtenances of the season, but played from morning
till night, and would have been ready to play through the night until
dawn had that been possible. As it was, they used to disperse
unwillingly when, at midnight, roulette came to an end. Likewise, as
soon as ever roulette was drawing to a close and the head croupier had
called “Les trois derniers coups,” most of them were ready to stake on
the last three rounds all that they had in their pockets—and, for the
most part, lost it. For my own part I proceeded towards the table at
which the Grandmother had lately sat; and, since the crowd around it
was not very large, I soon obtained standing room among the ring of
gamblers, while directly in front of me, on the green cloth, I saw
marked the word “Passe.”
“Passe” was a row of numbers from 19 to 36 inclusive; while a row of
numbers from 1 to 18 inclusive was known as “Manque.” But what had that
to do with me? I had not noticed—I had not so much as heard the numbers
upon which the previous coup had fallen, and so took no bearings when I
began to play, as, in my place, any _systematic_ gambler would have
done. No, I merely extended my stock of twenty ten-gülden pieces, and
threw them down upon the space “Passe” which happened to be confronting
me.
“Vingt-deux!” called the croupier.
I had won! I staked upon the same again—both my original stake and my
winnings.
“Trente-et-un!” called the croupier.
Again I had won, and was now in possession of eighty ten-gülden pieces.
Next, I moved the whole eighty on to twelve middle numbers (a stake
which, if successful, would bring me in a triple profit, but also
involved a risk of two chances to one). The wheel revolved, and stopped
at twenty-four. Upon this I was paid out notes and gold until I had by
my side a total sum of two thousand gülden.
It was as in a fever that I moved the pile, en bloc, on to the red.
Then suddenly I came to myself (though that was the only time during
the evening’s play when fear cast its cold spell over me, and showed
itself in a trembling of the hands and knees). For with horror I had
realised that I _must_ win, and that upon that stake there depended all
my life.
“Rouge!” called the croupier. I drew a long breath, and hot shivers
went coursing over my body. I was paid out my winnings in
bank-notes—amounting, of course, to a total of four thousand florins,
eight hundred gülden (I could still calculate the amounts).
After that, I remember, I again staked two thousand florins upon twelve
middle numbers, and lost. Again I staked the whole of my gold, with
eight hundred gülden, in notes, and lost. Then madness seemed to come
upon me, and seizing my last two thousand florins, I staked them upon
twelve of the first numbers—wholly by chance, and at random, and
without any sort of reckoning. Upon my doing so there followed a moment
of suspense only comparable to that which Madame Blanchard must have
experienced when, in Paris, she was descending earthwards from a
balloon.
“Quatre!” called the croupier.
Once more, with the addition of my original stake, I was in possession
of six thousand florins! Once more I looked around me like a
conqueror—once more I feared nothing as I threw down four thousand of
these florins upon the black. The croupiers glanced around them, and
exchanged a few words; the bystanders murmured expectantly.
The black turned up. After that I do not exactly remember either my
calculations or the order of my stakings. I only remember that, as in a
dream, I won in one round sixteen thousand florins; that in the three
following rounds, I lost twelve thousand; that I moved the remainder
(four thousand) on to “Passe” (though quite unconscious of what I was
doing—I was merely waiting, as it were, mechanically, and without
reflection, for something) and won; and that, finally, four times in
succession I lost. Yes, I can remember raking in money by thousands—but
most frequently on the twelve, middle numbers, to which I constantly
adhered, and which kept appearing in a sort of regular order—first,
three or four times running, and then, after an interval of a couple of
rounds, in another break of three or four appearances. Sometimes, this
astonishing regularity manifested itself in patches; a thing to upset
all the calculations of note—taking gamblers who play with a pencil and
a memorandum-book in their hands Fortune perpetrates some terrible
jests at roulette!
Since my entry not more than half an hour could have elapsed. Suddenly
a croupier informed me that I had, won thirty thousand florins, as well
as that, since the latter was the limit for which, at any one time, the
bank could make itself responsible, roulette at that table must close
for the night. Accordingly, I caught up my pile of gold, stuffed it
into my pocket, and, grasping my sheaf of bank-notes, moved to the
table in an adjoining salon where a second game of roulette was in
progress. The crowd followed me in a body, and cleared a place for me
at the table; after which, I proceeded to stake as before—that is to
say, at random and without calculating. What saved me from ruin I do
not know.
Of course there were times when fragmentary reckonings _did_ come
flashing into my brain. For instance, there were times when I attached
myself for a while to certain figures and coups—though always leaving