The Satires of Juvenal, Persius, Sulpicia, and Lucilius
Quirinal valley." "What is the occasion?" "Why ask? my friend is going
to be married; only a few are invited!" If we only live to see it,
these things will be done in the broad light of day, and claim to be
registered in the public acts. Meanwhile, there is one grievous source
of pain that clings to these male-brides, that they are incapable
of bearing, and retaining their lords' affections by bringing them
children. No! better is it that nature in this case gives their minds
no power over their bodies! They must die barren! Vain, in their case,
is fat Lyde with her medicated box; vain the holding out their hands to
the nimble Luperci.
Yet even this prodigy of crime is surpassed by the trident of Gracchus
in his gladiator's tunic,[96] when in full flight he traverses the
middle of the arena. Gracchus! more nobly born than the Manlii, and
Marcelli, and Catulus' and Paulus' race, and the Fabii, and all the
spectators in the front row. Ay, even though you add to these the very
man himself, at whose expense he cast his net as Retiarius.
That there are departed spirits, and realms beneath the earth--that
Charon's pole exists, and the foul frogs in the Stygian whirlpool--and
that so many thousand souls cross its waters in a single bark, not
even boys believe, save those as yet too young to be charged for their
bath.[97] But do thou believe them true! What does Curius feel, and
the two Scipios, what Fabricius and the shades of Camillus, what the
legion cut off at Cremera, and the flower of Roman youth slaughtered
at Cannæ--so many martial spirits--what do they feel when such a shade
as this passes from us to them? They would long to be cleansed from
the pollution of the contact, could any sulphur and pine-torches be
supplied to them, or could there be a bay-tree to sprinkle them with
water.
To such a pitch of degradation are we come![98] We have, indeed,
advanced our arms beyond Juverna's shore, and the Orcades[99] recently
subdued, and the Britons content with night contracted to its briefest
span. But those abominations which are committed in the victorious
people's city are unknown to those barbarians whom we have conquered.
"Yet there _is_ a story told of one, an Armenian Zalates, who, more
effeminate than the rest of his young countrymen, is reported to have
yielded to the tribune's lust." See the result of intercourse with
Rome! He came a hostage! Here they learn to be _men_! For if a longer
tarry in the city be granted to these youths, they will never lack a
lover. Their plaids, and knives, and bits, and whips, will soon be
discarded. Thus it is the vices of our young nobles are aped even at
Artaxata.[100]
FOOTNOTES:
[83] Alluding to the comic exclamation, "O Cœlum, O Terra, O Maria
Neptuni." Vid. Ter., Adelph., v., i., 4. Cf. Sat. vi., 283.
[84] _Nuper._ The allusion is to Domitian and his niece Julia, who died
from the use of abortives (cf. Plin., iv., Epist. xi.: "Vidua abortu
periit"), cir. A.D. 91. This, therefore, fixes the date of the Satire,
which was probably one of Juvenal's earliest, and written when he was
about thirty. Cf. Sat. xiii., 17.
[85] Cf. vi., 368.
[86] _Vexantur._ E somno excitantur, alluding to "Lex Julia Dormis?"
Cf. i., 126.
[87] The whole of this ironical defense contains the bitterest satire
upon the women of Rome, as all these crimes he proves in the 6th Satire
to be of every-day occurrence.
[88] _Puellæ._ Cf. Sat. ix., 70, _seq._
[89] _Cylindros_, called, vi., 459, "Elenchos." Cf. Arist., Fr., 300,
ἑλικτῆρες.
[90] _Nudus_, i. e., in the Roman sense, without the toga.
[91] _Cotytto_ herself, the goddess of licentiousness, was wearied with
their impurities.
[92] _Actoris._ Æn., xii., 94.
[93] _Bebriacum_, between Verona and Cremona, where the deciding battle
was fought between Otho and Vitellius.
[94] _Gracchus._ In the same manner Nero was married to one Pythagoras,
"in modum solennium conjugiorum denupsisset." Tac., Ann., xv., 37. He
repeated the same act with Sporus.
[95] _Flammea._ Vid. Tac., u. s. "Inditum imperatori flammeum, visi
auspices, dos, et genialis torus et faces nuptiales: cuncta denique
spectata, quæ etiam in feminâ nox operit."
[96] _Tunicati._ Vid. Sat. vi., 256; viii., 203. Movet ecce tridentem.
Credamus tunicæ, etc.
[97] _Nondum ære lavantur._ The fee was a quadrans: vi., 447.
[98] _Traducimur._ Cf. viii., 17. Squalentes traducit avos.
[99] _Modo captas Orcadas._ A.D. 78, Clinton, F. R. "Insulas quas
Orcadas vocant, invenit domuitque." Tac., Agric., c. x.; cf. c.
xii. "Dierum spatia ultra nostri orbis mensuram: _nox_ clara, et
extremâ Britanniæ parte _brevis_, ut finem atque initium lucis exiguo
discrimine internoscas."
[100] _Referunt._ Cf. i., 41. "Multum _referens_ de Mæcenate supino."
The fashion is not only _carried_ back to Armenia, but _copied_ there.
_Prætextatus._ Cf. i., 78. _Artaxata_, the capital of Armenia, was
taken by Corbulo, A.D. 58.
SATIRE III.
Although troubled at the departure of my old friend, yet I can not but
commend his intention of fixing his abode at Cumæ, now desolate, and
giving the Sibyl one citizen at least. It is the high road to Baiæ, and
has a pleasant shore; a delightful retreat. I prefer even Prochyta[101]
to the Suburra. For what have we ever looked on so wretched or so
lonely, that you would not deem it worse to be in constant dread of
fires, the perpetual falling-in of houses, and the thousand dangers of
the cruel city,[102] and poets spouting in the month of August.[103]
But while his whole household is being stowed in a single wagon, my
friend Umbritius halted at the ancient triumphal arches[104] and the
moist Capena. Here, where Numa used to make assignations with his
nocturnal mistress, the grove of the once-hallowed fountain and the
temples are in our days let out to Jews, whose whole furniture is a
basket and bundle of hay.[105] For every single tree is bid to pay a
rent to the people, and the Camenæ having been ejected, the wood is
one mass of beggars. We descended into the valley of Egeria and the
grottoes, so altered from what nature made them. How much more should
we feel the influence of the presiding genius of the spring,[106]
if turf inclosed the waters with its margin of green, and no marble
profaned the native tufo. Here then Umbritius began:[107]
"Since at Rome there is no place for honest pursuits, no profit to be
got by honest toil--my fortune is less to-day than it was yesterday,
and to-morrow must again make that little less--we purpose emigrating
to the spot where Dædalus put off his wearied wings, while my gray
hairs are still but few, my old age green and erect; while something
yet remains for Lachesis to spin, and I can bear myself on my own legs,
without a staff to support my right hand. Let us leave our native land.
There let Arturius and Catulus live. Let those continue in it who turn
black to white; for whom it is an easy matter to get contracts for
building temples, clearing rivers, constructing harbors,[108] cleansing
the sewers, the furnishing a funeral,[109] and under the mistress-spear
set up the slave to sale."[110]
These fellows, who in former days were horn-blowers, and constant
attendants on the municipal amphitheatres, and whose puffed cheeks were
well known through all the towns, now themselves exhibit gladiatorial
shows, and when the thumbs of the rabble are turned up, let any man be
killed to court the mob. Returned from thence, they farm the public
jakes.
And why not every thing? Since these are the men whom Fortune, whenever
she is in a sportive mood, raises from the dust to the highest pinnacle
of greatness.[111]
What shall _I_ do at Rome? I can not lie; if a book is bad, I can
not praise it and beg a copy. I know not the motions of the stars. I
neither will nor can promise a man to secure his father's death. I
never inspected the entrails of a toad.[112]
Let others understand how to bear to a bride the messages and presents
of the adulterer; no one shall be a thief by my co-operation; and
therefore I go forth, a companion to no man,[113] as though I were
crippled, and a trunk useless from its right hand being disabled.[114]
Who, now-a-days, is beloved except the confidant of crime, and he whose
raging mind[115] is boiling with things concealed, and that must never
be divulged? He that has made you the partaker of an honest secret,
thinks that he owes you nothing, and nothing will he ever pay. He will
be Verres' dear friend, who can accuse Verres at any time he pleases.
Yet set not thou so high a price on all the sands of shady Tagus,[116]
and the gold rolled down to the sea, as to lose your sleep, and to your
sorrow take bribes that ought to be spurned,[117] and be always dreaded
by your powerful friend.
What class of men is now most welcome to our rich men, and whom I would
especially shun, I will soon tell you; nor shall shame prevent me.[118]
It is that the city is become Greek, Quirites, that I can not tolerate;
and yet how small the proportion even of the dregs of Greece! Syrian
Orontes has long since flowed into the Tiber, and brought with it its
language, morals, and the crooked harps with the flute-player, and its
national tambourines, and girls made to stand for hire at the Circus.
Go thither, ye who fancy a barbarian harlot with embroidered turban.
That rustic of thine, Quirinus, takes his Greek supper-cloak, and wears
Greek prizes on his neck besmeared with Ceroma.[119] One forsaking
steep Sicyon, another Amydon, a third from Andros, another from Samos,
another again from Tralles, or Alabanda,[120] swarm to Esquiliæ, and
the hill called from its osiers, destined to be the very vitals, and
future lords of great houses.[121] These have a quick wit, desperate
impudence, a ready speech, more rapidly fluent even than Isæus.[122]
Tell me what you fancy he is? He has brought with him whatever
character you wish--grammarian, rhetorician, geometer, painter,
trainer,[123] soothsayer, rope-dancer, physician, wizard--he knows
every thing. Bid the hungry Greekling go to heaven! He'll go.[124] In
short, it was neither Moor, nor Sarmatian, nor Thracian, that took
wings, but one born in the heart of Athens.[125] Shall I not shun these
men's purple robes? Shall this fellow take precedence of me in signing
his name, and recline pillowed on a more honorable couch than I, though
imported to Rome by the same wind that brought the plums and figs?[126]
Does it then go so utterly for nothing, that my infancy inhaled the
air of Aventine, nourished on the Sabine berry? Why add that this
nation, most deeply versed in flattery, praises the conversation of
an ignorant, the face of a hideously ugly friend, and compares some
weak fellow's crane-like neck to the brawny shoulders of Hercules,
holding Antæus far from his mother Earth: and is in raptures at the
squeaking voice,[127] not a whit superior in sound to that of the
cock as he bites the hen. We may, it is true, praise the same things,
if we choose. But _they_ are believed. Can he be reckoned a better
actor,[128] when he takes the part of Thais, or acts the wife in the
play, or Doris[129] without her robe. It is surely a woman in reality
that seems to speak, and not a man personifying one. You would swear
it was a woman, perfect in all respects. In their country, neither
Antiochus, nor Stratocles, or Demetrius and the effeminate Hæmus, would
call forth admiration. For there every man's an actor. Do you smile? He
is convulsed with a laugh far more hearty. If he spies a tear in his
friend's eye, he bursts into a flood of weeping; though in reality he
feels no grief. If at the winter solstice you ask for a little fire, he
calls for his thick coat. If you say, I am hot! he breaks into a sweat.
Therefore we are not fairly matched; he has the best of it, who can at