Thoughts of a fool
Without realizing it, I have been in court from the day of my birth,
constantly pleading my cases; and the prospects are good for employing
the remainder of my days in court.
My first case began at my birth, although I did not possess, as yet, a
diploma which would qualify me to practice before a court of record.
Nevertheless, I pleaded that case with all the force and eloquence my
infant lungs could muster. When my mother substituted malted milk in
order to save her breasts to decorate a décolleté gown for receptions,
balls, and parties, I felt that I was being swindled of what life
had bequeathed to me. What right had that mother of mine to use that
which nature intrusted to her keeping to be used as a distillery
and a store-house for my food as an ornament with which to decorate
herself at gala shows. To misuse that with which one is intrusted is
a violation of a trust and the offender guilty of breach of trust. To
squander a trust fund and to substitute something else of an inferior
grade is fraud. Though I survived this ordeal, my mother was putting
herself into the attitude of a potential murderess, for I might have
died of such treatment. I protested against this larceny as bailee. I
registered my complaint by kicking, crying, and screaming. Mother gave
me over to my nurse, and she tossed me about and finally put me in my
cradle, and called the doctor, who put a few drops of dope in my food,
and I went to sleep exhausted. Thus I pleaded and lost my first case.
The next picture which appeared before me was when I, a child of two
years, stood looking out of my window and seeing, other children
enjoying themselves playing on the street, while my clothes, nurse
said, were too fine and my parents too rich and respectable for me to
play with common people’s children, and when I cried nurse took me in
her arms and pointed to some kind of a chart which hung framed on the
wall and said that this was a “family tree,” and people who have them
must not cry.
What right had they to impose their respectability and the dignity of
their riches, which I did not care for, and of which I did not know
the use, upon a helpless, defenseless child? And even to this day I
do not know and cannot understand what good a “family tree” is. Life
had appointed them guardian to care for me in the best possible manner
till I should be able to care for myself. What right did they have to
impose their loveless life upon me? And when the male guardian of the
family came home from his club the worse for liquor, what right had
he to “tootsie wootsie” and kiss me and make me sick with his vile
breath? I pleaded my case by pulling my father’s whiskers, by kicking
the governess, and running away whenever the opportunity offered.
Nevertheless I lost my case.
Later, when my parents separated because of incompatibility, and I
was placed in a convent by the order of the court, my emotions sought
expression in playing. But the rules of the convent did not permit
play. Instead, they crammed me with information about things that did
not concern me and refused me answers to questions upon that which
interested me. They made me pray when I had no prayer in me, and they
read all the letters that I wrote and received. I protested against
this invasion and abridgement of my liberty by crying and scolding the
nuns, and by running away several times, but was always taken back to
endure even more vigorous restraint. And so I lost my case. I seemed
to be the victim of a conspiracy to cheat me of my inheritance. But I
thought that probably if I would endure it for a while that when I had
become grown up I should come into my estate of liberty. But in this
expectation I was doomed to disappointment as well as before, for when
I reached womanhood I found that I was expected to permit others to
shape my life for me.
The next vision on the panorama is the saddest of my life, seeing two
of my sisters die, one of consumption, being unhappy with her husband,
and not being strong enough to withstand the drain of successive
child-bearing upon her tired frame. Children kindly nature had given
her, not of a normal motherhood demand but because her husband was the
provider and my sister a woman anxious for peace submitted to his vile
passions rather than to have him nagging. Mother nature cares not for
the cause of the demand made upon her; so long there be a demand she
supplies without question. And so my sister died.
The cause of my other sister’s death was likewise a “brute of a
husband.” Sisters, dear sisters, how I mourn you! How I mourn your
sacrifice to conventionality! I should think that this monster
convention would have been satisfied with two sacrificial offerings
in one family. So when my maternal feeling got so strong, and the
desire to become a mother so great within me, I thought that I should
be permitted to become one without pledging my body for life to a man
whose attentions I would probably not care to receive after conception.
The fish of the sea have their appointed time to propagate. The fowls
of the air have their mating seasons. The beasts of the forest their
breeding periods. But you, my brother, impose your uncontrolled
passions on your mate in and out of season.
I, a full-grown woman, passed the age of thirty, I thought would be
permitted to select the man that should father my child. And not
heeding my neighbors when they tried to dictate to me by whom, when,
and how I should become a mother, I am indicted as being an unfit
person to be admitted to the homes of my fellow-citizens. Ostracism
from my fellow-beings is the verdict they ask public opinion to give.
And even now, when my child is four years of age, I have fully proven
to convention that a child that comes into the world because of the
demand of the mother, will be provided by life with all the love it
needs.
Yet I am dragged into the Court of Public Opinion, my accusers asking
for my condemnation, and put upon my defense.
In my reverie I seemed to arise slowly, perfectly conscious of my
victory, knowing the responsibility devolving on me, ready and willing
to plead not only for myself but for the freedom of my sex. So, facing
the court, and in a clear and distinct voice which seemed to ring
through the court-room, I said:
“The honorable Court of Public Opinion, and the citizens under its
control: there is a feeling abides with me, a conviction I might say,
that you will deliberate this case carefully, without any fear and
prejudice, in the most calm manner, as the happiness of womanhood is at
stake. Your own happiness, as well as your daughter’s; your sister’s as
well as my own. I beg of you to please record that I am not now setting
up any defense against the charge with which I am confronted. If my
desire and anxiety would be for my acquittal I would let the case go
before your honorable body for decision without setting up any defense,
as my accusers have not proven the charges set out in the indictment.
I admit that I am associated, in fact very intimate, with Love. But it
is admitted by all, and I have even heard this honorable court say,
that to love is no crime. But, say they in the indictment, that I use
my love with a hypnotic power, and thereby I destroy and wreck the life
of Happy Homes. And say they in the indictment, that I have freed Love
and thereby wrecked Happy Homes; that would make the charge against me
accessory before the act.
“The law of evidence is very clear that when a person is charged
with murder it devolves upon the prosecution to produce the ‘corpus
delicti.’ Unless it be shown that there had been such a person as the
one with whose destruction I am charged, I must be acquitted, however
strong the chain of circumstantial evidence connecting me with the
crime. The prosecution of this case has failed to produce any evidence
that Happy Homes was seen recently. There is no evidence whatever that
I was ever acquainted with Happy Homes. Happy Homes, as the court
knows, is a myth. For centuries Happy Homes has had no existence, and
I could not destroy what did not exist. So if I were alarmed for my
personal safety, though I would not say anything in my defense, you
could not do otherwise than to acquit me for lack of evidence.
“My object, your honors, in standing now before you is not to defend
but to accuse. Transformation has taken place. Instead of the accused
criminal begging for mercy, I stand as an accuser demanding justice!
“Here, now, I see the proper opportunity to charge my accusers with the
most heinous crime of conspiracy. From the day of my birth until the
present time there was not a day that passed that they did not harass
me and make my life miserable. Fear and Prejudice, my accusers, are
dishonorable, and should be banished from any community. I will show to
this honorable court the true character of two of the most dangerous
traitors that ever inflicted mankind. Always conspiring against the
community which honors them. Ungrateful wretches! The more you respect
them, the more you nourish them, the more you fondle them, the more
miserable they will make you. They will devour your very happiness.
“If this honorable court please, let Fear stand up so you can have a
good look at him. Look how miserable and cowardly he acts! See how he
cringes!
“Come out, Fear, from behind that child! Come out, Fear, from behind
that woman’s apron there! Let the court see you! You are always hiding
behind children and women! Always afraid of what will become of the
poor defenseless orphans and widows. What has Fear ever done for them?
It is Love, my comrades, that cares, provides, and suffers for the
children and the women. It is Love that makes the bread, it is Love
that fashions the clothes, it is Love that builds the houses for the
use of the women and children. And here, Prejudice, stand up and let
the court see you. You looked like a mountain when you were my accuser,
and like a tiger you were fierce when you made the charges against me.
But here as I assert myself--
“Here, your honorable court, I can’t find Prejudice anywhere. He has
vanished though all the doors are locked. I demand that an attachment
be issued by this honorable court, and let Prejudice be brought before
this honorable body, that the court may see. There is really nothing
to Prejudice; there was nothing in him in the first place. It was only
the noise they have been making. I have no dealing with either Fear or
Prejudice. When you know what they are you can go about your business
unmolested by Fear or Prejudice.
“The danger, my fellow-citizens, is when you do not know them. The
danger is when you are not acquainted with them. It is then that they
destroy the possibilities of Freedom living in your community. Happy
Homes could not have lived in the community where either Fear or
Prejudice existed. Fear and Prejudice have stolen the outer garments of
Happy Homes and make of them a flimsy disguise for Miserable Homes and
Wretchedness.
“And here in the audience, your honorable court, I see Economics. Come,
Economics, and testify in my behalf before this honorable body. You
have traveled all over this land; tell us if you have seen Happy Homes
anywhere. Tell the honorable court of Public Opinion, please, what you
have told me, that ‘fear of poverty has driven away any possibility of
Happy Homes anywhere.’ Tell the honorable court, too, dear Economics,
whether or not you have not found Miserable Homes masquerading in the
garb of Happy Homes wherever you went. And there is Miserable Homes;
you all know him. He will testify that he holds the life lease on all
the homes, even on the home of this honorable court. And the lease
which I have seen is signed by Fear and Prejudice. So I implore this